I suppose I always figured this day would come, but it is what it is. With the contamination of the the last redoubt of genuine baseball by that rulebook lobotomy I call the Neanderthal hitter, my interest in the game runs out of steam. The formless round robin of lineups swinging from the brainstem simply…… Continue reading Signing Orf…..

Feesh backup catcher Francisco Cervelli is Venezuelan with Italian grandparents, and he was taught to cook, well, at an early age. He’s been spending quarantine with his Macondo extended family by offering a video cooking class every week or so on the Feesh MLB homepage called “Behind the Plate.” His most recent offering was the…… Continue reading Cooking for Lockdown II: Francisco Cervelli’s Arroz con Pollo, with Old Gator’s Merry Mods

I’ve been so busy taking advantage of the wholesale deprivation of my constitutional rights by this radical/liberal/socialist/communist virus to get my book(s) and article(s) edited for publishers who aren’t even coming to work these days that I’ve been neglecting my duties here at FI as our designated culinary belletrist. No more. I woke up at…… Continue reading Cooking for Lockdown, or, the Beloved Wooden Spoon Incarcerated

https://images.thestar.com/TNWQtPvWf23hd7_wLzIO7KN80fI=/1200×1146/smart/filters:cb(1583935830768)/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/opinion/editorial_cartoon/2020/03/11/theo-moudakis-four-horsemen/theo_moudakis_four_horsemen.jpg

I confess to feeling a bit like tiptoeing through a graveyard here, so quiet have things been lately, but since I’m not taking anything back to my laboratory I figgered I’d let you know the Feesh have signed free agent, former Pirates, Razed and Feelies outfielder Corey Dickerson to a two year deal to patrol…… Continue reading Feesh Sign Corey Dickerson to Two Year Deal

Somebody please wake me when the orfseason is over?

Give beisbol a break for a moment. I was too old to have watched Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood as a child. My heroes were Godzilla, Rodan, Moe, Larry, Curly and Bela Lugosi. However, I was a somewhat older dad, my daughter born when I was 40 and my son when I was 45, so I often…… Continue reading A Blatant Promotion for Tom Hanks

A quick note before I relate this latest misadventure of the star-crossed Macondo franchise: I will no longer waste my time trying to upload images to this lame, primitive site only to be greeted by a message that the file type is unsupported. This used to be pretty easy but now it’s downright Sisyphian. Even…… Continue reading Feesh AAA Affiliate Exiled to Wichita, Cursed with Horrible New Name and Logo

Whelp, I don’t know about your rooting innerests but the Feesh have got some weird stuff to do this orfseason. They will be replacing an even dozen free agent or retirement holes in the roster, trying to protect their best bambinos from the depredations of the Rule 5 draft, and looking to sign some more…… Continue reading Killing Time in the Orfseason

History will report the 2019 Bums season died due to their boolpen collapse in the top of the 10th, crowned by the hammer blow of Howie Kendricks. But I’m here to disabuse you of that fancy. No, the end began in the bottom of the sixth. Them Bums had scored three quick runs off Strasburg…… Continue reading C*H*O*K*E: Swallowing Walnuts on the Sunset Side

A couple of weeks ago one of the regular Feesh Stripes correspondents summarized a prior night’s blowout as a “tough loss,” and I demurred. To me, a “tough loss” was a synonym for “one that got away,” a game you had in hand and then blew – usually, in the bottom of the final inning…… Continue reading So, What is a “Tough Loss” Anyhoo?

Right now, there is exactly one, and only one, genuinely marketable Feesh plying the waters of Macondo Banana Massacre Field, namely, catcher Jorge Alfaro. Traded to the Teal Terroirs for J T Realmuto just prior to spring training: https://securea.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/595751.jpg Alfaro has emerged from this “rebuild” nightmare like an Orc from the mud, as the closest…… Continue reading Jorge Alfaro is the Only Marketable Asset the Feesh Have. So Let’s Market Him.

Opening day dawned windy and wet here in Macondo, quivering on the cusp of monsoon season. Fans, such as Beep Beep’s ham-handed, blundering efforts at community relations have left identifying themselves as such, occupied Macondo Banana Massacre Field to the tune of 25,437 or about 8000 fewer than on opening day last season, to see…… Continue reading Opening Day: Feesh Tank

Macondoans, our long local nightmare is over. The purgatory of J T Realmuto ended yesterday when he was traded to the land of horrible horsemeat and Velveeta™ sandwiches, or, from a more positive perspective, to a genuine contender. Yes, he’ll have to adjust to the culture shock of large audiences and the excitement of fighting…… Continue reading J T Realmuto Escapes: All Points Bulletin out for Fleeing Catcher