Prof: Mike Trout’s young son is about to be born, and he shall reign forever and ever. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Between Harper, Kris Bryant, and now Trout, the Blue Jays will be loaded for bear in about 20 years, just in time for the Vlad Jrs and Baby Biggios to retire.
Yankees 8, Orioles 6 – Scouts: New York jumped to an early 5-2 lead, which the O’s closed to a one run gap before a long rain delay gave everyone a break. Returning from the delay, Pedro Severino homered to give the O’s a 1 run lead in the 8th. This being the Baltimore Orioles, they immediately gave up a three run shot to Aaron Judge in the top of the 9th and that’s all she wrote.
Dodgers 6, Dbacks 3 – Scouts: Mookie Betts and Cody Bellinger have zero home runs and a combined .185 batting average. And still the Dodgers are out to a 5-2 start on the season. This team can be pretty dangerous if we actually make it to the end of the season.
Mariners 8, Angels 5 – Scouts: Marco Gonzalez gave the M’s the starting performance they’ve been needing all season long, allowing just two unearned runs over 6.1 innings. Dylan Bundy however didn’t fare so well, allowing 3 runs on 4 hits over 6 innings.
Nationals 6, Blue Jays 4 – Prof: I legitimately feel bad for Toronto. Can’t go home, can’t go up to Buffalo yet, and your schedule is messed up because of Feesh shenanigans. That means you have to play at your opponent’s house, as the “home” team, with none of the home advantages. You can’t even have the nice clubhouse. Anyway, Carter Kieboom is magical, and Ryne Harper led a Rays-style Piccadilly pitching match up to victory.
Padres 12, Giants 7 F/10 – Scouts: The Padres busted out for 6 runs in the 10th, thanks in part to the bonus runner. Man I really hate they dissolve that rule next year. Jurickson Profar went 2-4 with 3 RBI’s and Tommy Pham ended 3-5 with a pair of RBI’s.
Spiders 2, Twins 0 – Prof: Shane Bieber is showing everyone last year wasn’t a fluke. In fact, he’s pitching even better. 13 punchouts in this game alone, and he was pure filth. Man, I missed good pitching. It makes me feel alive. Delicious Francisco Lindor Truffle hit a two run homer, and that was all the Magical Land of Cleve needed.
Red Sox 4, Mets 2 – Scouts: Christian Vazquez powered the Sox past the lolMets thanks to homers in the second and 4th and picked up 3 of the team’s 4 RBI’s.
Rays 1, Braves 2 – Prof: My child, the GQMF himself, young Max Fried, absolutely dominated this game and it was beautiful. Almost as good looking as he is. Yes, young master Fried sat them down one by one last night, retiring the first 14 Rays, ending his 6 2/3rds innings with 7 Ks and only four hits. Adam Duvall made an outstanding catch in left, while farm boy sensation Austin Riley and Civil War General Dansby Swanson drove in runs to put Atlanta over the top.
Royals 5, Tigers 3 – Scouts: Miguel Cabrera homered twich, and Jonathan Schoop followed up with his third on the season, but it wasn’t enough to get the Tigers past the Royals who singled and doubled his way to victory.
Cubs, Reds – PPD
Phillies, Yankees – PPD
Marlins, Orioles – PPD
Fan Interference 
Nice catch, Kole Calhoun!
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Excellent choice with Blues Traveler. Fat John Popper > Thin John Popper musically, but Thin John Popper > Fat John Popper for everyday life.
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The COVID10 positive Feesh are being bussed back to Macondo even as I write this . The bus has been marked with biohazard symbols and there’s a sign on the rear that reads “Warning: Infected Marlins. Keep Back Six Feet!”
They’re due to arrive Saturday afternoon at Macondo Banana Massacre Field, where Beep Beep has arranged for them to be greeted by Hurricane Isaias.
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Welcome to the Twenty-First Century, where life imitates Monty Python.
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I hope you all realize the ANGELS ARE STILL IN THIS! This shortened season is looking to be an elimination game.
Good to hear that Crush is back in the Orioles camp. I was worried he ended up like Pesci in Goodfellas.
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