Prof: Well, friends, this is not how I wanted us to make our grand debut, but here we are. My laptop is dead and I’m coming to you from my phone, which is less than optimal. I’ll do my best, but it’ll be slow going at best for a while. However, I’m excited to get back to baseball. The last few months have brought a lot of wonderful changes to your friendly neighborhood Prof, and it’s all good. So let’s spread a little joy around and talk about the reason we’re all here. The game!
Souts: I messed up yesterday and didn’t use any of Prof’s work. Very bad Scouty I am! She’s not feeling well today, but I am at least able to salvage her opening remarks. Apologies Prof and get better soon!
Angels 0, Athletics 3 – Scouts: Chris Bassitt only lasted 4 scoreless innings, which meant the bullpen had to combine to throw the final 5 innings as the Angels were completely shut down by the Athletics. There’s no way over the course of a normal season a team could rely on their bullpen this heavily, but welcome to 2020 where the rules don’t matter!
D-backs 2, Padres 6 – Scouts: A five run 4th and the Padres jump out to a early 3-1 start on the season.
Blue jays 4, Nationals 1 – Scouts: Teoscar Hernandez wasn’t even supposed to play in this game. Bo Bichette was a late scratch, and Teoscar decided to fill in by slugging two of the four homers given up by Anibal Sanchez.
Braves 5, Rays 14 – Scouts: Mike Foltynewicz (I will never be able to type that correctly on the first go.) and Touki Toussaint (Come on Atlanta, you’re killing me bro.) each gave up 6 runs, including a 8-run 4th as Tampa absolutely exploded offensively.
Cubs 8, Reds 7 – Scouts: Chicago tried really hard to blow this one giving up 1 in the 6th, and 2 in each the 7th, 8th, and 9th innings. Craig Kimbrel had no command of either his fastball or his curveball and is now sporting a 54.00 ERA after allowing 4 walks and 2 runs while recording just one out. Fortunately for them, they faced Wade Miley who gave up 6 runs over 1.2 innings. Is it just me or is pitching especially atrocious so far this season?
Brewers 6, Pirates 5 F/11 – Scouts: Milwaukee picked up all 5 runs in the 9th and 11th innings thanks to some horrible bullpen work by Pittsburgh, ruing Colin Moran’s two homer day.
Mariners 5 Asterisks 8 – Scouts: The Houston Cheaters picked up their 3rd win on the season thanks to a 4 run 3rd and a 3 run 5th. With no crowd, there’s no way to hide any banging trashcans. But we all know it’s only cheating if someone doesn’t specifically tell you not to cheat in that way. Sorry IRS, you only said I had to pay taxes. You didn’t say when, how much, and to whom….Game…Set…Match.
Royals 14, Tigers 6 – Scouts: After giving up an early 5 runs in the second, you’d be forgiven for turning off this snoozefest between two teams next to no one cares about. But then you would have missed the Royals come storming back for 3 in the 3rd, 6 in the 4th, and 2 in the 5th and 9th to turn this one into a laugher.
Mets 7, Red Sox 4 – Scouts: Things are not looking good in Boston for 2020 so far. I’m looking over the lineup, and realizing I just don’t recognize most of the names here. Their starting pitchers current eras: 1.50, 6.00, 7.20, 14.73. Yikes. They currently have 7 pitchers with a ERA of 1.5 or lower. And 7 pitchers with a ERA of 7.20 or higher.
Yankees, Phillies – Postponed Due to Covid
Orioles, Marlins – Postponed Due to Covid
White Sox, Spyders – Postponed Due to Weather