I’ve been so busy taking advantage of the wholesale deprivation of my constitutional rights by this radical/liberal/socialist/communist virus to get my book(s) and article(s) edited for publishers who aren’t even coming to work these days that I’ve been neglecting my duties here at FI as our designated culinary belletrist. No more.
I woke up at six yesterday morning, put on my “Who Was that Masked Man” T-shirt, painter’s mask, black eye mask, red bandanna (tied to the right side) and white Stetson hat to catch the special 7AM duffer’s hour at Publix to score some chicken hearts, chicken gizzards and chicken livers for my dogs. They had hearts and those expensive antibiotic-free livers that cost four times as much as the regular package of chicken livers but….no gizzards! Fat lot of good that’ll do ya if you have dogs to feed because, as Lenin famously noted, when you’ve got them by the gizzards, their hearts and livers will follow.
Be that as it may, I’ve been experimenting with low-lectin, low-carb pancakes, among other things, and this morning I made a big stack of….
Slothrop’s Banana Breakfast Pancakes
As Gravity’s Rainbow opens with its famous overture “A screaming comes across the sky,” we find the redoubtable Tyrone Slothrop (after whom I once named my pet tarantula) in his WWII London flat making pancakes with black market bananas as German V-2 rockets roar overhead and pepper the city with their high explosive warheads. Seemed like a nice metaphor for Coronavirus, no? Anyway….
You will need:
1 tbsp flaxseed meal
1 cup almond, millet or coconut flour (either one works as well)
1 large egg
3/4 cup goat or coconut milk (unsweetened if your pancreas is shot)
1 stick French or Italian (ie A2) butter
1 tsp baking soda
1 tablespoon coconut oil
1 teaspoon perilla seed oil
1/2 tsp each cinnamon and nutnmeg
1/4 cup white wine
1 large ripe banana or sweet plantain
the maple syrup of your choice, or honey
Combine the first eight ingredients in a bowl and blend with a blender until the batter slightly stiffens; add a little more milk or coconut milk to thin it a bit, so it pours easily enough onto the griddle. Let stand for the baking soda to help it rise a bit.
Setting aside about half a dozen thin slices of your banana or plantain, slice the rest of your banana into thin slices and saute in butter, adding the cinnamon and nutmeg and the white wine. Let the wine boil off. Scoop out the sauteed banana and any residual syrup and stir into the batter.
Set a griddle over your burner (a flame works yonks better than an electric range but as the famous mobster Joe Curly was fond of saying, we do the best we can with the tools that we have.) Heat the griddle well, till a flicker of water hisses and evaporates instantaneously. Pour a tablespoon of coconut oil on the griddle and spoon out 1/3 cup of batter (as many as you have room for). Wait for bubbles to form in the pancakes before flipping them; they should only be lightly browned on each side before you transfer them to the plate.
Hint: have your butter standing by; add a thin pat of butter to each pancake, and a dash of syrup or honey, before you place the next cake on the stack, and repeat this procedure for each succeeding pancake. When you’ve built your stack to your own specs, add the final dollop of butter, garnish it with the slices of banana you set aside earlier, and add as much syrup as you like.
Cubanized version: Instead of slicing a sweet plantain as recommended above, rather than adding it to the batter, slice the plantain in half the long way, cut each half into roughly 4″ segments and saute in the butter and wine until browned and soft, if not slightly caramelized, sprinkling generously with cinnamon, a pinch of nutmeg and brown sugar as they cook (not recommended for diabetics) to make marinated maduros. Lay a few of these maduros between each pancake as you build your stack.
This will make the morning between those same old damned four walls go faster, though it will assuredly not make you go faster.