Fan Interference

If you consider the outcome of each game to be a coin flip, there is a 12 1/2 percent chance that the Brewers will win today, the Cardinals will lose, and the Brewers would then win the tie breaker game against the Cardinals on Monday. Outside of that who’s playing who and where in the playoffs is set.

For all the fans here who are fortunate enough to be rooting for one of the playoff teams, this is our final message to our team. For all the rest of you I hereby anoint you honorary Twins fans, whether you like it or not.

Saturday – White Sox 7 Tigers 1 | White Sox 3 Tigers 4

The Tigers and White Sox had a double header washed out on Friday and have only played 160 games coming into today. According to the schedule on MLB.com they aren’t going to inflict another double header on the fans today so they’ll only play 161. Is the  opportunity to lose 115 instead of 114 a record opportunity.

Friday – Phillies 5 Marlins 4 | Saturday – Phillies 9 Marlins 3

Friday – Nationals 8 Indians 2 | Saturday – Nationals 10 Indians 7

May your boys slay the Godgers someguy. I don’t really hate the Clevelanders. In fact I hope that next year they are every bit as adorable as the Tigers and Royals.

To baseball fans everywhere.

Friday – Pirates 6 Reds 5 | Saturday – Pirates 2 Reds 4

Friday – Rays 6 Blue Jays 2 | Saturday – Rays 1 Blue Jays 4

Friday – Orioles 4 Red Sox 1 | Saturday – Orioles 9 Red Sox 4

Friday – Mets 4 Braves 2 | Saturday – Mets 3 Braves 0

Vengeance is mine sayeth the baseball Gods Prof?

Friday – Yankees 14 Rangers 7 | Saturday – Yankees 4 Rangers 9

Those Damn dirty Yankees have taken the team home run lead away from the Twins. Vengeance commences this coming Friday,

But not to be cruel. May they end with dignity.

Friday – Rockies 11 Brewers 7 | Saturday – Rockies 3 Brewers 2

Friday – Cubs 8 Cardinals 2 | Saturday – Cubs 8 Cardinals 6

The baseball Gods don’t like the Cardinals no more because Paper won’t post here no more. If this turns out to be 1987 all over again they will curse him again.

Friday – Twins 6 Royals 2 (F/7) | Saturday – Twins 4 Royals 3

If the Twins win today they will finish with 102 wins which would tie the franchise record set in 1965. They are ahead 4 – 3 as I type.

Friday – Diamondbacks 6 Padres 3 | Saturday – Diamondbacks 6 Padres 5

Friday – Astros 4 Angels 0 | Saturday – Astros 6 Angels 3

Where  the hell is Stex? Did he die? God I wish he was here.

Friday – Mariners 4 Athletics 3 | Saturday – Mariners 0 Athletics 1

Friday – Dodgers 9 Giants 2 | Saturday – Dodgers 2 Giants 0

Our final Sunday sermon for this year.

Okay all you newly anointed honorary Twins fans, one, two, three

GGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TTTTTTTWWWWWIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!