Prof: It’s reboot season, and usually I hate the idea of any reboot. But this… this is the greatest thing I’ve read in a while and I’m all in.
They are rebooting Saved By The Bell, with this premise: governor Zack Morris is being crooked and greedy, per usual, and has closed too many poorly performing high schools across California. He has to save face somehow, so he comes up with a scheme to send kids to high performing schools…one of which is Bayside. There’s so much you can do here. OF COURSE Zack Morris is a terrible politician! This is what makes this brilliant!
The majority of readers on this blog is not part of the Saved By The Bell generation, but I am, and I still enjoy watching the machinations of a purely sociopathic high schooler and the friend group he’s screwed up. Having it be crouched in some smarmy politics just makes it even more interesting to me.
Giants 7, Red Sox 6 F/15 – Scouts: Mike Yastrzemski finally made it to Fenway, a place his grand-dad pretty much helped build. He was greeted warmly, actually encouraged by the home team to hit a homer against them. So, in the 4th inning he obliged and drove his 20th on the season over center. The game ended up going 15 long innings when Alex Dickerson finally ended things thanks to a sacrifice fly to center.
Phillies 5, Braves 4 – Prof: It’s nice of Atlanta to prolong their magic number season. With this loss, they can clench the crown on Friday if they run the table the rest of the week. See, that would be fun, because then Braves fans could totally party down, maybe even get some cheese curds at Murph’s. Anyway, let’s talk about Philadelphia. Rhys Hoskins and newcomer Jose Pirela both hit two run homers in the fourth inning. Even though the Braves attempted to come back with an Adam Duvall solo dinger in the ninth, it just wasn’t enough.
White Sox 8, Twins 9 F/12 – Scouts: The Twins just keep on trucking. After blowing the lead in the 11th, Mitch Garver was able to extend things one more inning. Then after blowing it yet again in the 12th, Marwin Gonzalez tied it up with a single, and Ronald Torreyes was hit by a pitch which forced in the winning run.
Nationals 6, Cardinals 2 – Prof: Everyone knows I’m not a big fan of the Nats – I mean, I’m a Braves fan, I’m not going to be openly rooting for rival NL East teams – but here they are, playing against St. Louis and their Devil Magic. I’m torn. The Cardinals are pretty much the only team I sincerely loathe, so I guess let’s go Curly Dubs. Anyway, Washington did indeed go, led by Howie Kendrick Lamar’s solo dinger in the fourth, and then Victor Robles and his 2-3, 2 RBI night. Patrick Corbin stuck out eleven.
Reds 4, Cubs 2 – Scouts: It looks like getting out of New York was a good move for Sonny Gray who’s seemingly returned to form in his new home. Gray out dueled Yu Darvish and the Chicago Cubs, holding them to a pair of runs over 6.2 innings. Darvish was able to strike out 13 in his 7 innings, but the 4 runs he gave up was too much to overcome.
Rangers 1, Astros 4 – Prof: Justin Verlander continues to pull away from the rest of the pack for the AL Cy Young (sorry to his very worthy teammates). He’s currently at 19-6, and in this game had eight Ks. Meanwhile, back to back homers from Yordan Alvarez and Alex Bregman were among the offensive highlights for this game.
Mets 6, Rockies 1 – Scouts: Remember Marcus Stroman? I couldn’t blame you if you forgot, he’s not had the best seasons so far, and recently went on a stretch where he failed to deliver a quality start in 6 of his 7 outings since joining the Mets. Well he finally got a little of his groove back, holding the Rockies potent offence to just 4 hits over 7 shutout innings.
Marlins 12, Diamondbacks 6 – Scouts: Oh mama, it’s never a good day when you allow the Marlins to put up a 12 spot on you at home. Jimmie Sherfy in particular had a pretty bad day allowing 5 runs on 5 hits while failing to record a single out. Ouch. Miguel Rojas was the biggest benefactor to the terrible pitching, racking up 6 RBI’s on 4 hits thanks to a pair of doubles and a single.
Royals 1, Athletics 2 – Scouts: It only took one mighty swing of the bat for the A’s to get motivated to win this one. Matt Olson jacked one 450 feet in the seventh that got the sparks flying in Oakland.
Rays 5, Dodgers 7 – Scouts: It’s just not even fair anymore. The Dodgers seem like they are on a 35 game winning streak, and they are just tearing everyone apart. AL, NL, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. With one of the better rotations in baseball, they decided to just forgo that and let the bullpen guys play from start to finish. Is there anything this team can’t do right now?
Angels 0, Yankees 8 – Prof: You ever think about how the Yankees are so loaded, they just seem to slot dudes in and out on the regular? It’s like that old Warner Brothers cartoon, with the wolf and the sheepdog. They chase each other and whatnot, and then clock out and a new wolf and sheepdog show up. I don’t know why I’m thinking this, but that’s how my brain works. Anyway, Luis Severino just clocked in, and poor Dellin Betances clocked out. Sevy came back from a season long injury stint, and Betances is out for the rest of the season. Gleyber Torres hit a three run homer to cap it off.
Mariners 6, Pirates 0 – Prof: So, the Buccos’ All-Star closer is a child molester (allegedly). He was sexting a young teen for years (allegedly). I hope he gets put into the deepest, darkest, dankest part of a jail (allegedly). Last week, this creep and fellow Pittsburgh pitcher Kyle Crick got into a fight over “music” (allegedly) and Crick broke his hand or finger or something after attempting to punch him. Makes you wonder if Crick knew there was something (allegedly) weird about this dude. Anyway, this was all Seattle, who went yard three times, and there’s nothing alleged about that.
Blue Jays 8, Orioles 5 – Prof: Baby B for the Cycle! Blue Jays rookie Cavan Biggio did indeed hit for the cycle, and has joined his dad in doing so. The Biggios are now the second father-son duo to cycle in MLB history. Meanwhile, Orioles’ Trey Mancini hit his 34th homer of the season. Selfishly I want him to stay in Baltimore because I live here and I want to see him play, but he deserves so much better than this sad sack team.
Tigers 2, Spiders 7 – Prof: Fifteen straight wins for the Magical Land of Cleve, but they lose Jason Kipnis for the season. Ugh. STOP GETTING HURT! JUST STOP, EVERYONE STOP GETTING INJURED!!! Anyway, a nice outing for Adam Plutko, who went six and struck out as many.
Padres 1, Brewers 3 – Scouts: Brandon Woodruff returned after a two month vacation due to a left oblique strain and he couldn’t have come back at a better time for the Brew Crew. He was able to go a very strong 2 innings, striking out 4 and walking just 1. They say he was routinely hitting 97-98. Chris Paddack pitched very well himself, goin 5 innings allowing just a solo home-run.
Zack Morris is trash – https://www.funnyordie.com/zack-morris-is-trash
In news related to reboot season, word hit the internet yesterday that unnamed big names are considering a remake of The Princess Bride; if that happens, we riot.
As for baseball, the Nats’ win coupled with the Cubs’ loss means that the Nats WC1 lead is now 1 1/2 games over both the Cubs and Brewers, the latter of whom may never lose again. Both of those teams also trail the Cards by 2 for the NL Central lead, and the Cubs and Cards have seven head-to-head meetings in their last eleven games, so we could be looking at Brewers win the Central, Nats take one wild card slot, and Cards/Cubs survivor takes the other.
Max is on the bump for today’s rubber game of the series, then a day off in Miami before three with the Feesh this weekend.
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Zack Morris is trash is probably one of my favorite web series. I agree with everything. Funny how now, with the clarity of age, you can see that he is a psycho!
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I mean, he turned Jessie into a speed addict who ended up stripping in Vegas fer crissakes.
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I’m so excited! I’m so excited! This is Versace!
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Uh…this is Versace:

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I straight up will picket if they move ahead with this Princess Bride remake. Leave it alone!
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Maybe I’ve got sand in my shorts, but in my opinion reboots suck. Like reality shows, they’re just more proof that there are no more original ideas.
Nice editing work on that Yaz homer video.
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Reboots usually do suck. The only reason I’m cool with a SBTB redo is because I can see a crooked Gov Morris doing nefarious deeds and Screech as his dark behind the scenes fixer lmao
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I have suffered through one dismal Godzilla “reboot” after another, especially the American version where the big G comes orf looking like Don Shula:
However, absolutely the worst reboot of all was Disney’s misbegotten version of Mighty Joe Young. They took a perfect movie and pissed all over it.
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Call me when they reboot Ren & Stimpy
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That would be a justification for violent resistance.
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Ladies and gentlemen, last night your Minnesota Twins became the first team ever in the ten thousand year history of Major League Baseball to include five players who hit thirty or more ding dongers when Harmon Killebrew, in spite of only being with the big league club for 2/3 of the season, hit his 30th ding donger.
Do not regret your birth.
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Do you think Bob Allison will get to 30?
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Do you think Spinal Tap will go to eleven?
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The Feesh fizzled for the 99th time tonight, so I’m bringing you this Hot Tuna rendition of “99 Year Blues” to celebrate:
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