Scouts: Netflix, faced with losing Friends and The Office went out and bought them selves a Seinfeld. Beginning in 2021, the popular streaming network will begin to host every episode of the iconic show in 4K. I was talking with some friends when the new broke, and between the very long gif battle, we mentioned that we really failed to realize just how iconic and so far ahead of it’s time that series really was. First we had I Love Lucy, then M.A.S.H, then Cheers, and then Seinfeld.
Nationals 2, Cardinals 4 – Scouts: The Nats don’t have much to play for anymore this year, but they are still in a decent position to play spoiler to all those teams that beat them out this year. Only problem is those other teams are better than they are, which is why they beat them out. Marcell Ozuna drove in all four runs for the Cards thanks to a two-run homer in the first and a ground-rule double in the 7th. Marcell Ozuna will tell you that looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.
Reds 2, Cubs 8 – Scouts: Cole Hamels hasn’t done a particularly great job lately, pitching to the tune of a 6.90 ERA over the last 7 starts, however lucky him, he was up against Kevin Gausman, the one time promising, now current cast-off of both the Orioles and Braves. Gausman lasted just 2 innings, in which he gave up 3 runs thanks to a Kyle Schwarber homer in the first. Look Gausman, the jerk store called and they’re running out of you!
Mets 4, Rockies 9 – Scouts: I’m reviewing the Mets box score, looking for some angle on this story, and all I can think is good lord, I don’t know a single player on this roster. Like none at all. Then I look up and I realize, holy crap they are 4 games above .500! How? This team, I dunno…They’re real…and they’re spectacular!
Orioles 2, Tigers 5 – Prof: Oh, I miss reporting on the Battle of Who Sucks More! Good to see it come back so late in the season. El Tigre split the difference with the Birds of Charm City. Detroit gets the win this time around, thanks to a Jordy Mercer two run homer in the first inning. My guy, Bae ….er…. Trey Mancini, hit a big time home run but honestly, who cares at this point? Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty!
Padres 1, Brewers 5 – Prof: Wanna know the difference between a good team and a great team? A great team will rise to the challenge, and a little guy will be the hero. The hero of the day was Cory Spangenberg, who used to play for San Diego. Spangenberg hit an RBI single and a two run triple. Travis Shaw hit a solo home run as well. They are truly masters of their domain.
White Sox 3, Twins 5 – Prof: Minnesota shows no mercy, eating away at Chicago’s soul even after a James McCann home run. Eloy Jimenez homered in the ninth but it was too late. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Marlins 5, Diamondbacks 7 – Scouts: Miami looked like they were gonna win this one with a 5 spot in the 7th, but of course they went out and immediately gave up 4 in the bottom of the frame to put themselves behind once again. Serenity Now!
Royals 6, Athletics 5 – Scouts: Jorge Soler never has to worry about shrinkage, because he’s too damn hot to get in the pool. All he does is hit bombs.