Raphie took me on what will probably be our final wagon ride Friday. Starting Monday he’ll be too busy with pre school to indulge me again. Of course I knew it would be coming and in the days leading up to it I figured that I would probably be crying my fucking eyes out Friday night. It didn’t happen. I actually felt pretty good. Grateful. Thankful. I will admit that as I type this part of your sermon Saturday evening as I wait for the Twins game to start that there is a starting (partly vodka induced) stream. But it feels good and I definitely want to wake up tomorrow. Thanks Raph for helping me to believe that I have done more good than harm in my life, that I am glad that I was born. Now it’s your turn.
So what if I’ve posted this already. I like it get over it.
And not only that I won’t be hearing “can you wipe my butt?” in the near future.
Friday – Phillies 8 Padres 4 | Saturday – Phillies 3 Padres 5
Time might be starting to run out for the Phillies. 500 ball won’t cut it for them.
Friday – Nationals 2 Brewers 1 | Saturday – Nationals 14 Brewers 15 (F/14)
The Saturday game must have been entertaining, The Brewers go ahead with a four spot in the ninth . The Nats tie it in the bottom of the ninth. The Brewers go ahead again the top of the 13th. The Nats tie it again in the bottom half. The Brewers go ahead by two in the 14th, The Nats fall one short in the bottom of the 14th. 28 hits including 11 dongs.
Friday – Pirates 3 Cubs 2 | Saturday – Pirates 0 Cubs 2
The Cubs hang on to a share of 1st with the win on Saturday. How does the tie breaker work if the Cubs, Cards and Brew Crew finish in a three way tie.
Friday – Yankees 3 Indians 2 | Saturday – Yankees 6 Indians 5
WWWWEEEEE!!!! Looks like the Twins game is finally starting and they just said the Injuns lost 6 – 5. Win one by 14 on Thursday and lose the next two by one each. Clevelanders you have been assimilated. God is good.
Friday – Blue Jays 7 Mariners 3 | Saturday – Blue Jays 3 Mariners 4
I hope these teams prospects are looking good.
Friday – Red Sox 9 Orioles 1 | Saturday – Red Sox 4 Orioles 0
Have you noticed that the Orioles have been mathematically eliminated from winning the AL East.
Friday – Cardinals 13 Reds 4 | Saturday – Cardinals 1 Reds 6
The NL Central 500 club continues to go down to the wire. The Cards and Cubs are tied for first and the Brewers are only one back.
Friday – Tigers 2 Rays 0 | Saturday – Tigers 0 Rays 1 (F/13)
The Tigers pitch like the 1968 Tigers and hit like the 2019 Tigers
Friday – Dodgers 8 Braves 3 | Saturday – Dodgers 3 Braves 4
I won’t say anything bad about the Dodgers I’ll just say I’m glad the Braves won Saturday.
If the damn Twins game doesn’t start soon I’ll be a blubbering mass who won’t be conscious past the fifth inning. Anyhow here’s an immigration control proposal from Ilhan Omar’s ‘rodent and crime infested’ congressional district that me and Raphie have been braving during out wagon rides. Sorry, but when I been drinking and a utterly immoral, trash TV star moronic buffoon talks shit about where I live I get pissed. On election eve 2016 Raphie’s dad who is a French citizen, alarmed, asked me if I thought someone like Trump could actually be elected. I responded with the Nate Silver polling stat head estimate that he had between a one in three and one in four chance. What I was really thinking and should have said is never underestimate the stupidity of the American people. Now I pray, never underestimate the heart of the American people.
Friday – Twins 4 Rangers 3 | Saturday – Twins 12 Rangers 7
Where no where is heard a discouraging word and the Twins are up by 2 1/2
Friday – Royals 4 Mets 1 | Saturday – Royals 1 Mets 4
Switcharoo. I guess the Mets have cooled off.
Friday – Rockies 3 Marlins 0 | Saturday – Rockies 11 Marlins 4
The Rockies are in last place but they aren’t terrible. The Marlins are.
Friday – Giants 10 Diamondbacks 9 (F/11) | Saturday – Giants 11 Diamondbacks 6
There were 14 dongs in the Friday game, 7 for each team including 3 by Yastrzemski.
Friday – Athletics 3 Astros 2 (F/13) | Saturday – Athletics 8 Astros 4
The Astros have lost five straight and the Athletics refuse to go away.
Friday – White Sox 7 Angels 2 | Saturday – White Sox 5 Angels 6
Time to depart the service. I think of this as a father’s song.
Fan Interference 
Whelp, the football season approaches and one good thing about being a Feesh fan is you don’t need to wait to watch the Dollfeens fumble away a game; you can watch the Teal Terriors do it for a lot less money per game. They lost 7-6 to the Rocky Mountain Oysters to conclude the sweep. They’re now suppurating at 33 games beneath the attractor and headed for Atlanta to face the Barves, whom they held to a draw last week. After given up a crapton of dingers to the Bums earlier in the week, they got sheschmettered again by the long ball in Denver – though, I gotta admit, allowing a home run at Coors Field is kinda like allowing a blowjob at Stdio 54.
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Always my favorite read of the week. So I guess I’m a blubbering mass, too.
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