Sunday Sermon Edition Home Edition Edition

Illham Omar, queen of the “Squad”, who came from a “shit hole country” and who must represent a district that’s got a crack house on every block and where you can get shot anytime just walking down the street because people with brown skin are everywhere and they all talk so funny you can hardly understand them, happens to be my representative in the congress of the United States of America. In fact I voted for her because I had no moral alternative. I thought you might be interested in a tour of this crime infested place where hardly anybody (excluding me when I’ve been drinking) likes watching 1950’s Audie Murphy westerns and that’s why it’s so hard to make America great again.

Raphie and I take a walking / wagon ride tour of Illhan’s district most every morning and so far we ain’t been shot at or come across an unconscious drug addict laying on the sidewalk. As we go by the houses of the people who anonymously help out the old white guy in the middle of the block with snow shoveling during the worst of the winter I wonder if the house on the north corner with a sign in the yard with the picture of a red heart, that Raphie and his buddy Ivan regarded as a kind of navigational landmark, is the residence of one our block’s two snow blower angels I told you guys about some months ago. At the end of the next block there are two houses, both on the corner and across the street from each other, which look to be in competition with each other to have the most beautiful landscaping – rocks – flowers – shrubbery – rustic wheel barrels full of flowers – butterflies flying in and out – and in one of them a guy most always out in his yard who loves to talk to the kids wowed by his lawn. That street is the bike and pedestrian friendly entry way to the local park and we often exchange hellos with kids Raphie’s age and babies in strollers. So far at least ain’t none of them offered to sell us some smack or been carrying a gun far as I could tell. On the west side of our block there’s a house with what Raph calls the “pretty rocks”. At the top of the yard there’s a sign which says “SMPLSLOVE” and on the top of the yards retaining wall there’s a bunch of hand painted rocks, gnomes, a little post office, school bus and the word love painted everywhere. Directly across the street is the church which unhesitatingly offered themselves to our family daycare as a 24 hour emergency shelter. And it sure is a nice place to be, with someone you love, when the sun gets behind a cloud and the breeze blows up.

Yeah, Illham Omar you go back to where you came from, TWINS TERRITORY!!!

 

Friday – Rockies 12 Reds 2 | Saturday – Reds 3 Rockies 1

The Reds learned that if you hold a team to one run you’ll probably win and if you hold them to twelve runs you’ll probably lose.

Friday – Dodgers 4 Nationals  2 | Saturday – Dodgers 9 Nationals 3

The Nationals learned that the Dodgers should be illegal.

Friday – Braves 9 Phillies 2 | Saturday – Braves 15 Phillies 7

The Braves push their lead to 7 1/2 over the Phillies and 6 1/2 over the Nationals. That’s cool but I hope the Nats win the wild card.

Friday – Rays 3 Blue Jays 1 | Saturday – Blue jays 10 Rays 9

Crap! the Red Sox have slipped past the Rays for second place.

Friday – Red Sox 10 Yankees 5 | Saturday – Red Sox 9 Yankees 5

On the bright side the Yankees have been giving up an awful lot of runs lately and Sabbathia just went on the injured list

Friday – Mets 6 Pirates 3 | Saturday – Pirates 5 Mets 4 | Mets 3 Pirates 0

That first Saturday score must be wrong because the standings say the Mets have won three straight. Oh well.

Friday – Twins 6 White Sox 2 | Saturday – White Sox 5 Twins 1

Hey who took the second 1 out of the Twins lead

Look at those fucking faces. America has always wanted to be great.

Friday – Marlins 3 Diamondbacks 2 | Saturday – Diamondbacks 9 Marlins 2

The Marlins must of lost on Saturday because they no longer have Sergio Roma.

Friday – Brewers 3 Cubs 2 | Saturday – Brewers 5 Cubs 3 (F/10)

The Brewers, Cubs and Cardinals are all within a game of each other in the NL 500 club.

Friday – Indians 8 Royals 3 | Saturday – Indians 9 Royals 1

Clevelanders you’ve had your fun with the Tigers and Royals but Tuesday you’ll be seeing Verlander and the Astros. Back to your cage!

Friday – Cardinals 5 Astros 3 | Saturday – Astros 8 Cardinals 2

The Cardinals had a good week and the Astros have a good team

Friday – Orioles 9 Angels 3 | Saturday – Orioles 8 Angels 7

Nothing against the Angels but it’s nice to see the Orioles win once in a while

Friday – Rangers 5 Athletics 2 | Saturday – Athletics 5 Rangers 4

The Athletics are only half a game off the wild card

Friday – Giants 2 Padres 1 (F/11) | Saturday – Padres 5 Giants 1

The Giants are tied for second in the NL West, when did that happen?

Friday – Mariners 3 Tigers 2 | Saturday – Mariners 8 Tigers 1

If I was a Tiger’s fan I’d become a Twins fan.

 

4 thoughts on “Sunday Sermon Edition Home Edition Edition

  1. I’m with you on the Mets thing. WGAS outside of Queens?

    The Angels, on the other hand, are so hard to figure. Beat the Dodgers twice only to fall to the O’s! I visited the Big A on Saturday night to see my hero, Chris Davis, accompanying his many Orange County fans. We all wanted to see the $23,000,000 million dollar man. The previous evening he had led the Orioles to victory with a walk and critical run scored, He also struck out only twice in his 0-3 evening. Alas, he sat out Saturday and in lieu of seeing him in action and a Halos victory I had to be content with the Mike Trout hat (courtesy of the Helpful Honda Dealers) and Saturday Night Fireworks. I also had to explain to the lady at the bus stop after the game why I was an Angels fan when the Dodgers were clearly better. I met the same woman after Tyler Scaggs final game. She’s a beautiful, gray haired, African-American lady and wears the best leather jacket in Orange County.

    Based on Saturday’s nine innings, the O’s are similar to the Angels; some good bats, but a distinct lack of arms. If you traded Mike for Chris the teams might also trade positions in the standings. The local ABC outlet, my roommates preferred source of news, says the Angels are looking for one good arm to bolster the run for a wild card slot. The consensus in our living room is that one arm ain’t gonna be enough.

    And Happy, you “Send Her Back” – meaning back to DC!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I very probably will because even though I disagree with her on most issues and even regard many of the things that she has said to be simply stupid, unlike the current occupant of the presidency, she is a fundamentally honest, well intentioned patriot, and I will not consider voting for any Republican for any office until at least Mr. Trump is gotten rid off. But I do wish I’d have the opportunity to vote for Justin Amash, almost makes me wish I was a Tigers fan again.

      Like

    • He does seem thrilled to be here and willing to do whatever he can for the team. I also read that he’s been pitching very well for the past month or so,

      Like

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