Weekend Edition Father’s Day Edition

When I was growing up my dad used to give me and my three brothers haircuts to save money. He was quite organized about it, having bought the full barber repertoire of scissors, combs and razors. Of course him being an ex marine we all got crew cuts. He had this thing that was sort of like a large multi prong tuning fork that he would put on the top of our heads and then run the razor over. The hairs sticking out between the prongs would all thereby be cut to the same precise height. This happened about noon every other Saturday during which Paul Harvey would usually be on the radio.

Cardinals 5 Mets 4 (F/10)

This one was started on Thursday and suspended after the Cardinals tied it in the ninth. They only do that in baseball you know. The Cardinals win it in the 10th with some throwback small ball including a stolen base.

Nationals 7 Diamondbacks 3

Max Scherzer goes 7, only allows 2, K’s 10, and finally gets some help from his friends to notch the win

Red Sox 13 Orioles 2

Let’s see, the Red Sox hit five dingers. Thirteen runs, not a surprise. Mancini, who I guess is the Orioles best player gets a dong to give O’s fans at least a few moments of pleasure. Chris Davis got a hit. Not that long ago that would have been big news. For the curious he’s got his average up to 170. Ladies and gentlemen your World Champion Boston Red Sox have won three straight and are three games above 500.

Rangers 7 Reds 1

The Reds have the second best run differential in their division, twenty runs better than the first place Brewers. They’ve allowed fewer runs than any team in both leagues except the Rays. And they’re in last place. I know I keep bringing this up and should probably shut up about it, but I feel bad for Reds fans. How would you feel if you were a fan of the unluckiest team in baseball and lived in Cincinnati. On the other hand there may be some truth to the belief that statistics don’t completely and utterly determine the outcome of baseball games. And this was a modern baseball game. The Rangers use four pitchers with none of them going longer than three innings, including the starter initial pitcher who threw three scoreless. And Andrus stole home for the Rangers.

TEX@CIN: Andrus swipes home on double steal in 1st

Pirates 11 Marlins 0

Brault allows eight hit but zero runs over the first six then the Pirate bullpen allows exactly one hit over the final three. The Marlins use five pitchers and four of them damage their ERA.

Rays 9 Angels 4

Heaney gets the Angles off to a pretty good start allowing just one run in the first five innings, but then the Angel’s Yankee hating bullpen poop up eight runs to keep the Rays in first place.

Indians 7 13 Tigers 4

This one started out as it should. The Indians break out with two in the top of the second but the mighty Tiger leaps back with two in the bottom of the second. The Tigers then take the lead with one in the third, and then they are hit by the wrath of the Gods in the fourth. Carpenter can’t get anybody out and the Indians throw on eight runs. But get this. six of the Indians thirteen runs are unearned. Come on Tigers, the Indians don’t deserve that.

Cardinal 9 Mets 5

This one got played after they finished their Thursday game. Somebody named Fowler puts the Cardinals ahead with a three run dong in the 8th. Historio probably watched it. She can tell us more if she wants to.

Braves 9 Phillies 8

The Braves have won eight straight and are sporting a 2 1/2 game lead over the Phillies. A homer happy game with each team getting three including Freddie Freeman’s 19th. The battle between the division leaders goes into the bottom of the ninth with the home team Braves down by two. Prof’s boys lay down a three spot for a walk off. The Phillies vow revenge.

Twins 2 Royals 0

The Twins are calling themselves “El Bomba Squad”. They’re even selling El Bomba Squad T shirts. I’m not sure if it’s okay to do stuff like that in Minnesota. Last night Twins catcher Mitch Garver was EL Bomba. Gibson throws eight scoreless for the Twins. Kelly throws seven scoreless for the Royals. Too bad, they needed him to do it for eight.

White Sox 10 Yankees 2

Jimminez goes yard for the White Sox twice. Giolito holds the Yanks to one over six. He’s 10 – 1 with an era of 2.22 with a bad team. Cy Young candidate? The White Sox have my permission to win today to.

Astros 15 Blue Jays 2

I have a confession to make. If I had to make a bet I would give the Astros at least a slightly better chance of taking the American League than the Twins. The Twins have been winning around two out of every three games for about forty percent of one year. The Astros have been doing it for around two or three years. Don’t tell anyone but I’m also afraid of what the Yankees might be like once they get their two best hitters and best pitcher back. The Astros are up by ten by the end of he fourth. Gerrit Cole is his usual solid self.

Padres 16 Rockies 12 (F/12)

A Doozie. The Padres are down 11 – 5 going into the ninth whereupon they tie it up with a six spot. They win it with a five spot in the twelfth. Renfroe goes yard for the Padres in the second, ninth and twelfth. 39 hits between the two teams including seven dongers. The sixteen pitchers used will remain anonymous.

Mariners 9 Athletics 2

Looks like the player of the game was Gonzales who goes seven for the Mariners only allowing two.

Dodgers 5 Cubs 3

Looks like the player of the game was Rich Hill who goes seven only allows three to a pretty good Cubs team.

Giants 5 Brewers 3

Finally, the last one. Of course the Giants won. Yastrzemski’s grandson hit a dong. Wait a minute, what’s a Yastrzemski doing in the no like see ball go far league?

Well at least that gives us an excuse to listen to this.

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Weekend Edition Father’s Day Edition

  1. Waiting for the Twins game to start. Super Joe giving a speech as the trust fund pukes retire his number to sell tickets. It’s stumbling, it’s trite, but it’s true and it’s Joe.

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    • Gonna go now and heat up my bedtime sliders while the TV production pisses around for a few more minutes. Hope to see the best Twins team out of the blue ever when I get back resume play.

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  2. For me, Father’s Day (like Mother’s Day) is an opportunity to contemplate the aphorism “children are horrible.” I spent some time at the British Museum yesterday, back 3000 years or so with the ancient Egyptians who really knew what to do with theirs. Child mummies were all the rage back then. On one hand, the process was complicated and time consuming. On the other, the little brats stayed quiet once properly dried and entombed.

    But since I’m in London, In any event, that saccharine abomination, Father’s Day, seems like a good time to recall the words of the great poet laureate dontwannabe of Britain, Phillip Larkin:

    This Be the Verse
    by Phillip Larkin

    They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
    They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

    But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
    Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.

    Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
    Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.

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  3. Apparently, someone’s drunk uncle designed the Fathers Day unis. What the what? A plaid sleeve and a dyed hat that bled. It’s like they didn’t even try for something respectable looking. Hey Dad, we’re gonna honor you with these trash hats. Whee!

    For those who care (Nick’s mom), Castellanos has decided to go out petulant, which is fine since no one wants his lousy d anyway. His ego thinks he’s JD, but the stats don’t lie. It’s hard to remember now that he was an upgrade over Inge, but mother of God, I cannot wait for his contract to end. As with Iggy, we aren’t even getting a helpful piece for him. The Avila Administration is not winning…bigly.

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