The Weekend Edition Dear Sweet Baseball Gods Edition

You know this is getting to be like the summer when I was around twenty years old and driving a Checker cab in pipe line boom Fairbanks Alaska from 7 PM to 7 AM. Did you know that the per capita consumption of alcohol in Alaska is twice that of its nearest rival Texas. It’s also a hard toking town. I got what he claimed was pure THC from one of my fares and my brother and I laced it into some Thai stick that we already had and went for a drive down Farmers Loop Road on the north side of Fairbanks.

That was a hell of a drive and so is this one. Like most people I thought the Twins would be somewhere a little above or a little below average this year. I leaned to a little above. The Twins have the best team OPS in the league. Their best player to date is Polanco the shortstop. Your shortstop is typically someone you hope to have a good glove and a league average bat but if you have to settle for something less you still might be in the game. Polanco does have that glove and has an OPS which is better than Mike Trout’s. But he’s not carrying the team. Cruz, Rosario, Garver, Castro, Schoop, Sexy Maxie, Buxton (the best defensive centerfielder in the world) and now the reincarnated Killebrew (thanks to adjustments made to my smart TV) are all wacking it. If Polanco were to break a leg tomorrow the Twins lineup would still be an object of fear to any pitching staff.

And if you’re thinking but what about?… the Twins have the fifth best team ERA in the American league.

Even though this seems so unreal it is for real. Thank you Dear Sweet Baseball Gods.

Let’s get started on what the silly mere mortals did last night

Reds 6 Cubs 5

The Reds starter only goes 3 2/3 while allowing 4 runs but the Reds bullpen only allows one more over the last 5 1/3 and they scrape their way back winning it with two in the ninth. Good for you Reds fans.

Nationals 12 Marlins 10

You can say one thing about the Nationals relief pitchers, there appears to be a lot of them. Like the Marlins they used six who gave up five runs to go along with the five allowed by the starter. And the Marlins were the Marlins except they scored a lot of runs.

Dodgers 10 Pirates 2

Have I mentioned before that the Dodgers are very good? Good hitting, good pitching, lots of dingers. The best baseball player in the world so far this year Cody Bellinger hits his 18th dong. Lets see the Dodgers have played 51 so far so that puts him on a pace to hit 57. MVP. And Buehler holds the Pirates to one over six. I guess I won’t snark about their payroll…today.

Oh check it out – the Twins just finished off the White (8 – 1 – same old same old)

Dance Party!!!

Padres 6 Blue Jays 3

Typical 2019 baseball – five dongs – 25 K’s.

Indians 3 Rays 1

A pitching duel between the two best pitching teams in baseball? Naw because the Twins have a better team ERA than the Indians. Will somebody please put the Indians out of their misery. Is it too much for me to ask that the Twins lead over them increase from eight to ten by the end of the weekend? Please, please Dear Sweet Baseball Gods. The Indians take it by scoring two in the 8th showing their determination not to fall under 500. Give them their due.

Tigers 9 Mets 8

The Mets hit five dingers and still lose. Sparty – Historio I know this season is a bummer for you but remember things should be worse. If the Tigers win / loss percentage matched their runs scored / runs allowed percentage their record would be 15 – 34 instead of 19 – 29. I guess the Dear Sweet Baseball Gods love you too.

Astros 4 Red Sox 3

The Stro’s grab a four run lead by the fourth and hang on. It’s Miley vs Sale and they both go six but Miley allows one while Sale allows 2 (earned) and the Boston defense lack thereof allows 2 and that’s the difference. BTW I should mention that the Red Sox’s Sox brethren White Sox defense today was adorable. Thank you so much Dear Sweet Baseball Gods.

Phillies 6 Brewers 4

I don’t know much about this one except that I want the Brew Crew to make it to the Greyhound World Series and I still got a lot of games to try and say something about. Seriously you guys should appreciate what Scouts and Prof do five times a week because right now I’m having a hard time staying sober long enough to do the same.

Braves 5 Cardinals 2

The Cardinals fall to 500 even though they have a positive run differential of 18 while the Pirates with a negative differential of 50 are ahead of them. The Dear Sweet Baseball Gods may love you Historio but I’m not so sure about Paper. The Brave’s starter with an impossible to spell or pronounce name goes six and only allows one. Even so I don’t expect his name will become a household one.

Rockies 8 Orioles 6

Five dingers and the Rockies walk it off in the ninth with one of them.

Rangers 4 Angels 3

The difference is one unearned run. Maybe baseball isn’t just about hitting the ball but is also about catching the ball and throwing the ball. BTW I should tell you that the Twins dream utility guy Gonzales made an absolutely fabulous catch in right today even though he primarily plays infield positions.

Athletics 6 Mariners 2

The Mariners are now in last place as expected after starting out what – 18 – 4 or something? Why did the Dear Sweet Baseball Gods lift Mariner’s fans up into the clouds before dropping them into a hopeless season? Maybe they don’t like Windows Ten.

Diamondbacks 18 Giants 2

The D Backs score in every inning except the eight and ninth by which time they were probably asleep. The D Backs get 21 hits and three walks and also strike out 12 times. That’s a little odd but the real question is who will the Giants trade Bumgarner to?

Yankees – Royals PP

I hope they make it up with a double header in which the Yankees win the first one 19 – 2 and lose the second one 4 – 3.

Twins 11 White Sox 4

Saving the best for last. The Twins come back to earth and only go yard three times, including Killebrew’s fifth in the seven games he’s been back. Cruz returns to the Twins today and maybe he’ll be hitting behind him somewhere around the middle of the order. The three dongs last night bring the Twins to a season total of 101 and are on pace to, as we come within a few games of the season’s one third point to finish with 327.  Don’t forget the current record set by the Yankees last year is 266.

Dear Sweet Baseball Gods




5 thoughts on “The Weekend Edition Dear Sweet Baseball Gods Edition

  1. Always a pleasure to hear the baseball education of Bull Durham. Next I suppose you’ll be praising long, slow, wet, deep kisses that last 3 days. Oh, and thanks for using the Angels paragraph to tout the Twins.

    It appears you managed to stay sober enough to finish well. Bravo!


    1. The way it felt like they were hanging him out to dry that makes sense. “We’re giving you a good long chance to find it because if you don’t you’re done.”.


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