Weekend Edition Midnight Edition

The Twins are playing on the west coast and their games are starting about nine, which means that I’m asleep in front of the TV by the end of the second inning. Thursday night the Gods woke me up about midnight just as the Twins were retiring the Mariners in the ninth. They were up 11 – 6 so it was stress free and even though they had given up six runs the starter Pineda had done a pretty decent job, again. Afterwards I dreamily went back to sleep. So cool. My dreams are having dreams!

So, now that you’re all awake we’ll get started.

Cubs 14 Nationals 6

The Cubs hit seven homers including three by Kris Bryant. Looks like it wasn’t Scherzer’s fault. He got off to a bumpy start allowing three runs in the first two innings, but settled in to allow no more through the sixth. When he left the game his boys were only down 3 – 2. But then the Nat’s bullpen happened allowing eleven runs in three innings. Somebody give someguy some ice cream.

Yankees 4 Rays 3

Tragedy in the Bronx. The Yankees score three in the ninth to take first place away from the noble Rays.

We must move on

Phillies 5 Rockies 4

The Rockies pull within one in the sixth, but alas it is a false spring.

Marlins 8 Mets 6

The Adorable Marlins get their 11th win, only 29 to go and their season is fulfilled. P Alonso goes yard twice for the Mets. I don’t know who that is but I should because they were his 13th and 14th for the year which I presume puts him at or near the top of the league in dongs – which I should also know but don’t.

Astros 3 Red Sox 1

Damn the Stro’s are good. They have the best record in the league (eclipsing the Twins by half a game) and have won nine straight. Unfortunately the Red Sox are also starting to pick it up and if the season were to end today they would miss out to the Indians by a stitch for the second wild card, but you know that’s going to change pretty soon. Garret Cole throws five scoreless with seven K’s. Rick Porcello does a nice job too, allowing only two over seven but is tagged with the loss. He can’t complain because he gets to pitch for the Red Sox and it’s usually the other way around for him. He should have to go back to the Tigers.

Dodgers 6 Reds 0

Damn the Dodgers are good. They have the third best record in the league and have won four straight. They went yard four times including Bellinger’s 16th. I suppose that leads the league but I don’t know but I should know. R Hill, I think that’s Rich Hill but I don’t know, throws six, two hits, ten K’s. Did you ever have to write about something you don’t know much about?

Orioles 5 Indians 1

God bless some guy named Bundy – 5 2/3 – one run – seven K’s. God bless whoever it was coming out of the O’s bullpen – three scoreless. And God bless The Fightin O’s. Do it again! Don’t worry gang, as the Twins lead grows my hostility towards the Indians will evolve into smug indifference.

Athletics 7 Tigers 2

A real nice job by some Oakland pitcher with the last name Montas – 8 2/3 – 2 runs – 10 K’s. A not so nice job by a Tiger pitcher with the last name Norris, whose first name I happen to know is Bud because I think I’ve seen him pitch against the Twins around 99 times. He’s adorable.

Braves 12 Brewers 8

Looks like it started out pretty well for the Brewers their starter only allowing 3 for the first five, but in the sixth Burnes \ Barnes happened. Burnes allowed seven in the course of getting two outs and Barnes allowed 2 while getting one out. He did pitch a scoreless seventh to a bored Braves team who were at that point up twelve – zip. Five dongs in this one, four by the Braves one by the Brew Crew.

Rangers 7 Cardinals 3

The Rangers put this one away in the second with a couple of dongs. I noticed that the Rangers are something like second or third in the league in runs scored but are also second or third in the highest number of runs allowed, making them a sub 500 team. Dallas Keuchel would make sense for them except they probably need a little more than that to sniff the playoffs.

Blue Jays 10 White Sox 2

Vlad Jr got his third dong and the White Sox got what they deserved.

Diamondbacks 7 Giants 0

The Diamondbacks get 10 hits and seven runs. The Giants get nine hits and zero runs. Baseball is so basebally.

Pirates 5 Padres 3

Some guy for the Padres named F Reyes got his 14th dong for the Padres. Good job by both starters. The Pirate’s Lyles goes seven allows one. The Padre’s Lucchesi goes seven allows two.

Angels 5 Royals 2

Hey no homers in this one. Refreshing. Pujols got his 2000th and something RBI. I wonder if it was Mr. Trout that he drove in – two for three – one walk – one run scored. The Royals used a reliever named Lovelady. He was pulled after getting one out. Lovelady the Loogey?

Twins 7 Mariners 6

I fell asleep during the second when the game was still scoreless. This time the Gods woke me up at about 3:30 AM at the point in the rebroadcast that the game was in the sixth and the Twins were up 6 – 1, that having been achieved in the fifth. I watched the rest of the rebroadcast happily falling back asleep about an hour later while also knowing that the Indians had lost. Why are the Gods being so nice to me?

Martin Perez went 6 2/3 allowing one run. He’s now 6 – 1 with an ERA of 2.89. I think that about three or so years ago he was pretty ok pitcher for a year or two, but for the last 3 years he’s been oft injured and sucky when not. They say it’s because new pitching coach Wes Johnson has taught him some change in his mechanics that has increased the velocity of his fastball by several miles per hour. For some reason Jake Ordorizi is pitching so well that he is creeping into the Cy Young conversation. Going into this year he had been certainly an ok pitcher, but only an ok pitcher. I worry. Sometimes when things seem too good to be true it’s because they aren’t.

Is rookie manager Rocco Baldelli and his crew really so successful because they are PED gurus and it’s going to come out in a giant scandal right when the Twins are getting ready to sell playoff tickets? Could even the Gods be so cruel.

Sleep well.




7 thoughts on “Weekend Edition Midnight Edition

  1. I like the Feesh’s chances tonight but their offense has had a tendency to snore, throw orf sparks alla sudden, then lapse back into a coma like Robert DiNiro in Awakenings. I’m keeping my tentacles crossed.
    You know that old joke:

    Unfortunately, a man fell out of an airplane.
    Fortunately, he had a parachute.
    Unfortunately, it streamered on him.
    Fortunately, there was a haystack below.
    Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork in the haystack.
    Fortunately, he missed the pitchfrok.
    Unfortunately, he missed the haystack.

    Well, the Mutts have fallen upon hard times. It’s the pitchfork or nothing for them these days.

    Incidentally, I wrote here just a few days ago I thought the Razed were going to run out of smoke and mirrors soon and be overtaken by the Borg and Beanbags. Whelp, the little flatfish that couldn’t got tupped by the Borg last night and began their predicted downward spiral. Welcome to second place, would-be underdogs. Third beckons seductively. Listen for a wheeze of escaping gas and observe the Hindenburg-like deflation at the Tropicana Tumulus over the ensuing weeks. The era of the small budget payroll miracle be ovah!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been thinking that. Kershaw used to be a Koufax, now he’s just still very good. Besides the way the game is played now there ain’t no such thing as a Koufax anymore.


  2. By “Bud,” of course, you mean “Daniel.”

    Who are these people who have so much free time to binge-watch shows and lay around? I feel like I never have time, and lately that means even for baseball. Sigh.


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