ScoutsEdit: Wow, I hit publish several hours ago, and it showed as published, but somehow isn’t published. My apologies for the late official post.
Second ScoutsEdit: Man, I really fail at the internet today. Somehow when the post finally did go live, comments were disabled. I didn’t even know that was an option! My deepest apologies fans, I blame it all on Prof. Because. Reasons.
Scouts: Ray. People will come, Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn into your driveway, not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll arrive at your door, as innocent as children, longing for the past. “Of course, we won’t mind if you look around,” you’ll say, “It’s only twenty dollars per person.” And they’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it, for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they’ll walk off to the bleachers and sit in their short sleeves on a perfect afternoon. And find they have reserved seats somewhere along the baselines where they sat when they were children. And cheer their heroes. And they’ll watch the game, and it’ll be as they’d dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick, they’ll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come, Ray. The one constant through all the years Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again. Oh people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.
Angels 7, Twins 8 – Scouts: News flash, Don’t sleep on the Twins. They are pretty good. LA did put up a good fight, scoring three in the top of the 9th, but Shohei Ohtani grounded out with the bases loaded to end the threat.
Orioles 3, Yankees 5 GM1 – Scouts: The Yankees finally were able to get their plumbing issues under control and a game was played! Trey Mancini continues to be too damn good for Baltimore and sadly I expect he’ll be a trade chip in a few months. Gary Sanchez, Gleyber Torres (twice), Cameron Maybin all homered for the Yanks.
Orioles 1, Yankees 3 GM2 – Scouts: Many expected the Yankees to be at an disadvantage in the double header, considering how historically difficult it is to take both games. Of course many people underestimated just how bad the Orioles really are. Not Marlins bad, but you know, not good. Gleyber Torres capped a three homer day.
Pirates 1, D-Backs 11 – Scouts: Oh no. Trouble in Arizona. Despite destroying the Pirates, and ace Zack Greinke allowing just 4 hits over 7.2 innings, the Arizona ace had to leave the game after feeling abdominal tightness.
Blue Jays 3, Giants 4 – Scouts: Shaun Anderson allowed 2 earned runs over 5 innings to pickup the win in his MLB debut. The Giants winning run came on a Brandon Crawford homer in the 6th.
Cubs 5, Reds 6 F/10 – Scouts: Chicago has been on fire lately, so it would figure that it would take a pretty special effort to cool them off. After Eugenio Suarez tied it up with a 2 run homer in the 8th, Yasiel Puig stepped to the plate in the 10th with the bases loaded and delivered a walk-off single.
Mets 1, Nats 5 – Scouts: Patrick Corbin stepped up to at least temporarily fix all that ailed the Nationals, providing a much needed dominant performance. Corbin struck out 11 across 8 innings, allowing just 4 hits and a single run.
Brewers 5, Phillies 2 – Scouts: Hey there Mr. Gonzalez. Welcome back to Milwaukee. Gio allowed just 1 run across 5.1, holding back the Phillies long enough to get the win. Bryce Harper is now batting .220, and Jake Arrieta is 4-4 after allowing 4 ER over 6 innings.
Astros 5, Tigers 1 – Scouts: Welcome back to Detroit JV! Make yourself right at home. Verlander allowed just a pair of hits as he quickly worked through the Detroit batting order for 7 innings.
Rays 1, Marlins 0 – Scouts: It’s a classic pitching matchup where the Rays used 7 pitchers, only one of which lasted longer than 1.1 innings to narrowly defeat the hapless Feesh. Anthony Bremboon doubled in the only run of the game before leaving in the 6th due to injury.
Rockies 5, Red Sox 6 F/10 – Scouts: Things are slowly starting to turn around for the Red Sox, now three games over .500, with top prospect Michael Chavis ripping walk-off singles in the 10th.
Cardinals 0, Braves 4 – Scouts: A much needed win by the Braves. Not only did they shut out the Cardinals through a combined effort by starters and bullpen, but they also got to watch prospect Austin Riley homer in just his second MLB at-bat.
Rangers 6, Royals 1 – Scouts: When down in the dumps, it’s always nice to pay the Royals a little visit and have a bit of an offensive break out. Willie Calhoun, Ronald Guzman, and Sin-Soo Choo all homered for the Rangers.
Padres 0, Dodgers 2 – Scouts: Looks like the brilliant version of Kenta Maeda showed up to LA last night, as Maeda not only shut out the Padres across 6.2 innings with 12 strikeouts, but also drove in the only two runs on a single in the second.
Okay, my take on the Razed-Feesh game:
1) After watching two games between these teams, I’m not impressed with the Rays (that the Feesh stink is a donnée). Their pitching is very good but their hitting runs the gamut from mediocre to febrile and their baserunning is inept; they committed one TOOTBLAN after another in those two games. They’ve taken advantage of the designatedhitterball league east while the Borg were playing General Hospital and the Beanbags were duking it out with implacable karma afield. However, I expect them to run out of smoke and mirrors by the All Star Break at the latest and be overtaken by one or both of the bug eyed northerners.
2) The Feesh are beyond offal. Last night was their ninth shutout of the season and they are now firmly on a pace to lose over 120 games. They sent the amiable Jose Ureña out and he pitched creditably, giving up one run on five hits to no good as the Feesh offense was offensively bad.
3) Jar Jar Baseball shouldn’t just be fired. He should be euthanized.
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Yes, the Twins season so far has been like suddenly discovering that we exist in a geo rather than hello centric realm. It brings to mind the Humian precept, the true epistemological foundation of 20th century micro physics, that in the final analysis we can never be completely certain whether we are dreaming or awake.
BTW, the Twins DSA (Designated Sexual Assailant / Designated Strikeout Artist – Miguel Sano) has rejoined the Twins and the way things have been going he will defy all reasonable expectations by inserting a Killebrew 2.0 bat into an already jaw dropping offense.
It must be the mushrooms. If so maybe he will look like Killebrew on my cheap ass big ass TV because I’m dreaming.
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I’m so thrilled the Tigers rotation could contribute to the cause. 😒
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