Prof: I know spring is in full force because my allergies are out of control. It’s horrible! That’s one thing I miss about the Frozen Tundra; while I would have some allergic reactions to things on occasion, it didn’t seem nearly as bad as it does now. Who else is sneezy and drippy around here? The other thing that tells me that spring is in the air is that it’s Coachella festival time. Last Sunday Ariana Grande, the current queen of pop, brought out 4 out of 5 N’SYNC members and suddenly I was 19 again. Let’s dance our way through a Wednesday.
Red Sox 0, Yankees 8 – Prof: Sometimes you just have to ask a simple question. That question is – What the actual Eff, Chris Sale? How do you give up hits to Mike Tauchman (career .147 hitter)? Not just hits…a double and a three run homer? How can you do that? Are you ill? Did someone put some poison in your Gatorade? Do you need a chicken to sacrifice to the pitching version of Jabu? What’s going on here? Meanwhile, New York’s James Paxton pitched a twelve K gem in this embarrassment of a game for Boston.
Angels 0, Rangers 5 – Prof: Former Brave Mike Minor gets the W; he’s 2-1 on the season. Minor went all nine and struck out seven, allowing only three hits all game. Joey Gallo hit a monster home run in the sixth inning.
Royals 1, White Sox 5 – Scouts: Is Yoan Moncada the truth? Or his he just some passer by in the night? Moncada launched his first career multi-homer game, with solos in the 3rd and the 5th.
Pirates 5, Tigers 3 F/10 – Prof: Detroit tried to claw their way out, but Pittsburgh ultimately plunged the dagger deep in extra innings. Starling Marte hit a two run homer for the win.
Giants 7, Nationals 3 – Scouts: Things were looking pretty good for Stephen Strasburg and the Nats. Stras doubled in a run in the second, and was holding the Giants in check. That is until the 5th, where Evan Longoria and Steven Duggar homered. Brandon Belt followed with another dinger in the 6th, and that was the ball game.
Mets 3, Phillies 14 – Prof: Did I mention that the NL East is going to be a slaughterhouse this season? Let me double down on that. I don’t know if this is a victory for Philadelphia or a soul-buckling, spirit-crushing defeat for the Mets. The Phillies had ten runs in the first inning. I mean, you can come back from that, but most people don’t.
The Mets are so bad that it depresses me, and they are my team’s rival. That’s saying something. Let’s think about something good in a Mets uni. Did y’all see that gif comparing Jacob deGrom and the great Pedro Martinez? You haven’t? Well, you have now. Take a gander and try to keep your head from exploding.
Orioles 2, Rays 4 – Prof: Tampa’s Tyler Glasnow is 4-0 with an ERA of 1.13. Must’ve been hanging out with Blake Snell during the off-season because that laser focus rubbed off on him. What’s sad is that Baltimore started out strong, then Dylan Bundy forgot how to hold a lead and gave up three in the fourth inning. Glasnow tightened up and didn’t allow any other runs, and the Birds were grounded.
Rockies 8, Padres 2 – Scouts: Jon Gray was hearing the music last night, going 7 strong, allowing just a single run on 3 hits. Nolan Arenado homered again as Colorado is starting to pick up the pace.
Astros 9, Athletics 1 – Scouts: Remember when there was a bunch of fear and doubt over Houston and if they were going to be any good this year? Well, after Houston’s 10th consecutive victory, we can put those fears to bed. Houston no longer looks like the team that was 2-5 before their run. Alex Bregman provided the largest spark on the night, a Grand Slam that was part of a 5 run 4th that turned a 3-0 game into a blowout.
Cubs 4, Marlins 0 – Prof: What’s there to say? I’m sure our very own Old Gator can give us the Feesh perspective. For Chicago, Jose Quintana went seven innings, had seven strikeouts. Daniel Descalso and David Bote both went 2-3, and Javy Baez had a huge solo homer (439 feet).
Diamondbacks 9, Braves 6 – Scouts: Things were going pretty good for Atlanta, until the bullpen got a call. Chad Sobotka and Jesse Biddel allowed a combined 4 runs on 4 hits and recorded 0 outs. Then Luke Jackson blew a save and A.J. Minter picked up the loss giving up 3 runs on 2 hits while only recording .2 outs. Woof.
Cardinals 4, Brewers 8 – Prof: Momma, there goes that man again! Christian Yelich! The reigning NL MVP hates the Cardinals apparently, because he does nothing but slices them up on the regular. Another three run homer against the Redbirds in this contest. These two teams meet up thirteen more times during the season (per Brewers beat reporter Adam McCalvy) so expect to see this way more often.
Blue Jays 6, Twins 5 – Scouts: Sometimes you gotta rely on your friends to get you through the rough times. Ken Giles was about to blow his second consecutive save, when Teoscar Hernandez and Freddy Galvis came to his rescue to gun down C.J. Cron at the plate to end the ballgame.
Reds 1, Dodgers 6 – Scouts: With both Cody Bellinger and Justin Turner out nursing injuries, the Dodgers turned to Alex Verdugo to step in and step up, and step up he did. Verdugo had himself a three hit, three RBI night to help keep the Dodgers offense sparking.
Spiders 4, Mariners 2 – Scouts: Seattle is struck with their first 4 game losing streak on the season, and it was handed to them in no small part by Shane Bieber who held the M’s to 4 hits and 1 run over 6 innings.