Weekend Edition Red White And Blue And Salute To Chris Davis Edition

This was going to be the Weekend Edition Surprise Edition in which I was going to look into why the Mariners are so hot and gloat over the Red Sox start. But my heart wasn’t in it and when I saw that the Red Sox won and the Mariners lost on Friday I was really flailing. Pathetically I settled on the idea of the scores in red followed by the blue links to the MLB.com wrap ups for each game. So I decided to wait until I might be feeling something.

Imagine that you possess and developed the athletic ability to successfully compete at a world class level. Shortly after that you were rewarded by a contract with a sports entertainment entity providing economic opulence for you and yours. Shortly thereafter this ability for myriad and mysterious reasons departs you, and you are publicly and comically obviously unable to deliver the value expected by the sports entertainment entity with whom you are in contract with at anywhere near the value that is expected. That entity’s hundreds of thousands of frustrated consumers regard you with mocking disdain. Before it finally ends, your personal purgatory becomes an object of national amusement as you reach and surpass an all time record of futility in America’s oldest and most iconic sport.

Whatever comes next, Chris Davis, you can tell  yourself for the rest of your life, you 33 year old pup, that you didn’t fucking quit until you got that hit.


Cubs 5 Angels 1


Pirates 6 Nationals 3


White Sox 9 Yankees 6


Rays 11 Blue Jays 7


 Red Sox 6 Orioles 4


Phillies 9 Marlins 1


Mets 6 Braves 2


Athletics 8 Rangers 6


Royals 8 Indians 1


Padres 2 Diamondbacks 1


Astros 10 Mariners 6


Brewers 8 Dodgers 5


Giants 3 Rockies 2


Twins Tigers Snow out



One thought on “Weekend Edition Red White And Blue And Salute To Chris Davis Edition

  1. Nice to see the Feesh come back and pulp some horrible horsemeat and Velveeta sandwiches tonight, 10-1 over the Feelies. I was out listening to a jazz and blues concert and happened to check my stupidphone (no kidding: my Google AI is about as dumb as some of the football players in my morning critical writing classes) and my eyes bugged out at the score.


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