Opening day dawned windy and wet here in Macondo, quivering on the cusp of monsoon season. Fans, such as Beep Beep’s ham-handed, blundering efforts at community relations have left identifying themselves as such, occupied Macondo Banana Massacre Field to the tune of 25,437 or about 8000 fewer than on opening day last season, to see the Teal Terrors engage the Rocky Mountain Oysters and to experience the “enhanced customer facilities” of the stadium.
The Oysters pounded Jose Urethra for six runs in five innings, abetted by some stumblebum fielding by Miguel Rojas at shortstop and Lewis Brinson picking up where he left orf in his rookie bust season (0-4, 1 K) in center field. Final score: Oysters 6, Feesh 3. Bright spots: the boolpen performed well though their long term success will depend on the starters going deeper than Urethra did today. Also, there were three Feesh dingers by J T Riddle and Neil Walker (both pinch hits), and one by new catcher Jorge Alfaro. Alfaro had been dinged by a pitch two innings earlier so he got some payback. Walker, if he keeps it up, will be traded for EYPs by the July waiver deadline and likely enjoy his seasonal denouement with a contender.
I can’t call them the rainbow warriors anymore because Beep Beep decreed a boring new logo that looks like it was supposed to be backlit but the bulb burned out. Ah well. So, my fearless prediction for the Feesh season: last in war, last in peace, last in attendance, last in the NL East.
So, how’d your crews make out, folks?