Prof: WE ARE BACK!!!! Even with all of the wacky stuff that went down in the off-season, it’s good to get back to life. We have 162 games to marvel at the greatest sport in the world, and it all begins today. Let’s get right to the good stuff.
Scouts: Wake up! It’s time for some baseball!
White Sox 3, Royals 5 – Scouts: Brad Keller threw 7 shutout innings, and the White Sox didn’t get on the board until the 9th, at which point the deficit was too much to overcome.
Pirates 3, Reds 5 – Prof: My small son, Scoots Magoots (or Scooter Gennett for the uninitiated) is on the injured list, so my interest in this game was cut roughly in half. But Cincinnati still has Joey Votto, the World’s Sassiest Canadian; Puig Your Friend, and Michael Lorenzen, who is a pitcher who is also playing the outfield on occasion these days. And y’all know how much I love stuff like that. Well, the Reds have a new attitude this year, and it was ex-Feesh Derek Dietrich who started the party in the Queen City with a three run homer in late innings.
Orioles 2, Yankees 7 – Scouts: Chris Davis is in mid-season form, striking out 3 times, and was eventually pulled for a pinch hitter. For the Yankees, Luke Volt got things started with a three run homer in the first, and then drove in another run in the 5th on a hit by pitch with the bases loaded. Gred Bird also hit his first homer of the season in the 8th. After today’s day off, the Orioles will come back at it on Saturday, starting a reliever, because they are apparently out of starting pitchers two days into the season. This will be a fun one gang!
Mets 2, Nationals 0 – Scouts: Jacob deGrom celebrated his recent contract by throwing a 6 hit, 10 strikeout shutout of the Nationals. Max Scherzer looked almost as impressive, striking out 12 over 7.2, but gave up a first inning homer and a RBI single, both to Robinson Cano.
Cardinals 4, Brewers 5 – Prof: Beautiful Miller Park hosted this outing and it was already one for the books. I have a feeling that these two teams will have a lot more games just like this one all season long. Defending NL Central champs Milwaukee squeaked by St. Louis on the strength of an insane Lorenzo Cain theft right at the wall. 2018 MVP Christian Yelich comes in right where he left off with a three run homer in the third inning, while Jhoulys Chacin brought the waterfalls with a solo dinger of his own. And YES I spelled Jhoulys Chacin correctly the first try!!! Take THAT!
Diamondbacks 5, Dodgers 12 – Scouts: The city of Los Angeles ran out of fireworks as the Dodgers set off the season with an Opening Day record of 8 homers. Joc Pederson, Enrique Hernandez both went deep twice. Corey Seager, Max Muncy, Cody Bellinger, and Austin Barnes also went yard. Zack Greinke only lasted 3.2 innings and starts the season with a 17.18 ERA. Woof.
Spiders 0, Twins 2 – Scouts: For the 2019 season, we will continue our tradition of referring to the team with the most offensive mascot as the Spiders until the racist logo is completely stripped from all memorabilia and marketing material. HappyTwinsFan is probably pretty um, happy today as Jose Berrios out dueled Corey Kluber, allowing ust a pair of hits over 7.2 innings with 10 strikeouts.
Rockies 6, Marlins 3 – Prof: Kyle Freeland went seven strong innings but Colorado didn’t need their best to defeat the sad Feesh in Miami. The most egregious play came from Lewis Brinson, the former Brewer prospect who was included in the Christian Yelich deal last season. Gator, man, I really feel this might be the biggest fleecing of a team since the Braves and Diamondbacks stopped doing business together.
Cubs 12, Rangers 4 – Prof: The Cubs’ motto for the last couple of years has been “Everybody In” and it was definitely a group effort in today’s contest versus Texas. Jon Lester was your starting pitcher, and he gets the W for the first time in five Opening Day starts. It was powered by the mighty bat of Javy Baez, who hit two homers. Javy wasn’t the only one going yard; Kris Bryant hit a two run homer for the Cubs as well.
Giants 0, Padres 2 – Scouts: The Padres were able to survive MadBum thanks to a Wil Myers homerun and 6 shutout innings from Eric Lauer. Fernando Tatis Jr went 2-3 and Manny Machado went hit-less in his San Diego debut.
Tigers 2, Blue Jays F/10 – Scouts: We have our first extra inning game on the books! Detroit’s Christian Stewart smoked a two-run homer to pickup the win for the Tigers. Jordan Zimmermann continued looking pretty darn good, going 7 innings allowing just a single hit. Marcus Stroman went shot-for-shot with Zim, allowing 2 hits over 7 shutout innings.
Astros 5, Rays 1 – Scouts: George Springer, Michael Brantley, and Jose Altuve all homered for the Astros, as Justin Verlander allowed just a first inning lead off homer to Austin Meadows before settling down. After the homer, Verlander allowed just two more hits over the next 7 innings.
Braves 4, Phillies 10 – Prof: One reason why this offseason was so bad for your friendly neighborhood Professor was because the Braves just sorta rested on their laurels while their division rival Philadelphia went out and shored up their offense. Looking at their lineup makes me sick to my stomach. It’s nasty. Nasty in a far worse way is the Atlanta bullpen. In a world where Craig Kimbrel is still available, the Braves are creeping along with guys like Luke Jackson and Shane Carle, who now have ERAs of 36.00 and 40.50, respectively.
Bryce Harper didn’t really do all that much, but Andrew McCutchen and Rhys Hoskins didn’t ask for permission to be dominating. And speaking of domination – Aaron Nola, friends. The Phillies ace went six innings, only allowed two hits, struck out eight and finished with an ERA of 1.50. Oh, he’s good. Ugh, gonna be sick again…
Angels 0, A’s 4 – Prof: Did you guys know that Khris Davis is a home run machine on Opening Day? It’s true. Yesterday wasn’t any different. Krush sent a bomb to the second level to cap off an all Oakland rout of Los Angeles of Anaheim of California. Scary moment in the eighth inning when the $430 Million Dollar Man, Mike Trout, had a slight injury sliding into second base – his calf cramped up. Trouty is ok, thank the good Lord.
Red Sox 4, Mariners 12 – Scouts: Ouch, Chris Sale and company did not get off on the right foot. In what’s supposed to be a rebuilding year for the Mariners, Chris Sale was unable to record an out in the 4th, allowing 7 runs on 6 hits, and kicks off the season with a 21.00 ERA. Tim Beckham homered twice and Domingo Santana went 3-5 with a homer and a double for Seattle.