Signs B Level Writers to Record Extensions!

Popular baseball blog has announced that they have signed two writers to long term contract extensions just ahead of the start of the 2019 Recapping season.  Both ProfessorMaddog31 and ScoutsaysWeitersisabust were signed to 97 year and 207 year extensions respectfully.  Exact terms of the deal were not disclosed but it is believed that Pie and Cake were involved in some fashion.

When reached for comment, Prof as her readers call her had the following to say:

“It’s always been my dream to write up a bunch of recaps on a website for literally tens of people to read every day.  Did you know they added a clause at my request that said that death does not terminate my contract?  Now I get to do it, even if Zombies rise up and eat my braaaaaaaaaains.”

Lawyers for F-I were not entirely sure the above referenced clause was legally binding, but they were really excited at the prospect of arguing it in front of the Supreme Court.

Scouts, was unavailable for comment as he was still asleep from the long boring winter, but it is believed he signed just long enough for the Orioles to put together a winning franchise.

An unidentified website executive had the following to say:

Well, we were’re really looking to sign anyone to any extensions, but well everyone else seems to be doing it, and all we had to do was open a corporate account at a few local bakeries.  So it was sort of a no-brainer.


With only a few more days left until the 2019 season kicks off, reports are YouTube links are being dusted off, terrible puns are being penned, and the writers are hoping to find new ways to say “It’s a Mets game, who really cares?  NEXT!”

There has been no word on any other extensions with other writers, most notably esteemed chef Old Gator, but when reached for comment HappyTwinsFan had the following to say: “Pay the Man.”  Historiophallic added “Trade me.”


20 thoughts on “ Signs B Level Writers to Record Extensions!

  1. It’s a hope, admittedly a faint one, the big $$$ won’t go to your head and you revert to your potty mouth postings.


  2. Sorry, I took the Feesh break-camp as an opportunity to head to New York for a few days to see my friend’s Dylan cover band, the Complete Unknowns, tear down the house at the City Winery last night, to see an old friend who got thrown orf her treadmill and busted up her shoulder (I just sent her a box of bubble wrap), and best of all, to check out the wondrous T-rex special multimedia exhibit at the Museum of Natural History (while also stopping by to visit Douglas Burden’s original Komodo Dragons). My big problem with the museum is how horribly the refurbishment of a couple of decades ago completely ruined the old, deliciously musty cathedral-like interior ambiance of those old dinosaur halls and replaced them with an operating theater like sterility. The T-rex used to loom over you out of the gloom when you walked into the Cretaceous hall under the gaping jaws of Carcharodon megalodon, hanging above the archway entrance to the hall. Now Meggy hangs like just one more exhibit in the prehistoric seas hall and the portentous archway is a boring rectangular aperture. Now Barnum Brown’s beloved T-rex is bathed in fluorescent lighting. Phooey. Beep Beep himself couldn’t have made the hall more boring.


    1. Wait until next year when Beep Beep gets voted into the Hall. Word on the street is there will be a pasta diving display.


    2. Hey, Gator. I will tell you the most frightening single dinosaur mounting I ever saw. Have you checked out the Kronosaurus at the Harvard Museum of Natural History?

      That was a nightmare inducing creature. I still won’t go in the water.


      1. Yeah, not only have I seen it but it wasn’t ever the biggest member of the pliosaur group. There were some that were maybe a third to half again as large. The only things they had to worry about were the wonderful Carcharodon megalodon (let’s see Hemingway deal with that) and the emergent lines of mosasaurs, which probably out-competed the pliosaurs and drove ’em to extinction.

        Anyway, though I can’t recall the details orf the top of my head, there’s a great story to that Harvard skeleton. The paleontologist who discovered it in Australia somehow conned ten grand out of a gullible local millionaire to clean and put the bones back together. I need to go dig that story out; it’s been many years since I read it but it was an inkling of what was to become, in the immortal words of Laurie Anderson, Beeg Science.

        I’d like to get me a smaller one – maybe five or six feet – to keep in my swimming pool.


        1. They have a set of jaws from a megalodon at Houston Museum of Natural Science. Along with a description of its fondness for dining on swimming elephants. Can’t say I would have wanted to go fishing in the Cretaceous/Cenozoic oceans.


        2. Yeah, but just imagine that photo of you standing on the dock at the marina in your Bermuda shorts, Astros t-shirt, cap and sunglasses holding your fishing rod and grinning proudly while your prize megalodon hangs from a boatlift crane by its tail, swinging slowly and gently in the sea breeze while lots of hot hardbodies line up in their bikinis to have their picture take with you.


  3. That was funny. Thanks Scout, that’s SCOUT, singular, until you change your name to scoutSSay… to pluralize.

    The LA Times, once a world class newspaper now reduced to a decent regional paper because nobody buys it (cough), they read it online, pronounces that the Angels have a chance of participating in the postseason. They just can’t send any pitchers to the injured list. Sounds to me as likely as a fourth Kelvin timeline Trek movie.

    And – am I the only fan disliking the “injured list” instead of “disabled list”? Every time I see the term I think I’m reading about the NBA. Is this meaningless change leaving anyone else addled?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. More breaking news: the Angels took Chris Stratton off waivers from the Giants. He and His career 4.63 ERA join the Angels rotation. Angels manager Brad Ausmus hailed him as “…a starting pitcher with major-league experience.” Hey Brad, try not too sound so enthusiastic, you might give (what’s his name again?) a big head.


      1. I was a huge fan of Ausmus as a catcher. He had every trait (including the intelligence) that you could want from a truly great defensive catcher.

        As a manager, he as yet does not seem to have caught his stride. But I would observe that a smart guy should be capable of learning and improving.


        1. Some people are book smart, some are street/common sense smart. I don’t doubt Beautiful Brad’s book smartness (Dartmouth ain’t for dummies), I’m not sure about his skills for reading people and anticipating events. He’d probably be a great front office analytics geek.

          Liked by 1 person

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