J T Realmuto Escapes: All Points Bulletin out for Fleeing Catcher

Macondoans, our long local nightmare is over. The purgatory of J T Realmuto ended yesterday when he was traded to the land of horrible horsemeat and Velveeta™ sandwiches, or, from a more positive perspective, to a genuine contender. Yes, he’ll have to adjust to the culture shock of large audiences and the excitement of fighting for a playorf spot, but he’s such a gamer I don’t think he’ll have much trouble. Best of all, he won’t have to put on Beep Beep’s insipid new uniform this spring.

I think the best part of the trade for the Feesh was rookie catcher Jorge Alfaro. He had a fine rookie season with Feelie, slashing .262 /.321/.427/ .748 with ten home runs and 37 RBI in 344 at-bats. From everything I’ve read he’s got power reserves he hasn’t tapped yet. His defensive skill set is very advanced for his years. He’ll be back to eating tostones, morcilla and ceviche after a year of those horrible horsemeat and Velveeta™ sandwiches in Feelie, so it will be interesting to see how his Colombian psyche responds to the comforts of Little Havana. I don’t think PETA would let the franchise supply him with his Easter Capybara, though. Anyway, young ballplayers like Alfaro often take a step or two backwards in their sophomore seasons but I think it’ll pay to be patient with him. This was about as good as the Feesh were gonna do in making up for the loss of Realmuto.

As far as A-ball pitcher Sixto Sanchez who’s gotten most of the attention in this trade, he’s a gas bomb with a vicious fastball, a heavy curve and a work in progress changeup. As exciting as he is on paper, though, the main thing not to like is his likelihood to blow out his elbow. He’s already had issues with it. He doesn’t have to hit triple digits to be effective but if he makes the radar gun the window to his ego there’s gonna be TJS in his future.

I think the Feesh did about as well as they were going to do in this trade, especially since it was ace blunderer Mike Hill pulling the throttles. But at my age, I think it’s still a crapshoot I’ll live long enough to see these guys play in October.

9 thoughts on “J T Realmuto Escapes: All Points Bulletin out for Fleeing Catcher

  1. sounds like the acquisition of the next likely Realmuto is a net plus for your feesh. The chance that In two or three years this that might help to make them a serous October contender before you ain’t no longer able to make ridiculously esoteric meals is a crap shoot.

    I just want to watch and listen to games this coming August and September, just before I nuke up my bedtime sliders, where I got reason to care who wins.

    Take what you can get.


    1. News Flash: There are still multiple players available as free agents who are actually good! Right now! Who knew! (On the downside, they will cost actual money, so apparently that takes the Feeeesh out of corntention.)


  2. Alfaro was judged the top catching prospect in MLB three years ago. He has taken a bit of a side road, but I expect the Feesh will do well with that catch. Too bad they didn’t want a bunch of Astros’ almosts. Looks like a pretty good deal for your boys, OG.


    1. Frankly, I think the other teams held their best prospects and any active ML player the Feesh wanted back from the tables. The linchpin in the deal, Sixto Sanchez, is already damaged goods and everyone knows it, yet the Feesh and some writers keep trying to gloss it over.

      They all knew that behind the bravado the franchise is under immense financial pressure and isn’t about to make any of it up at the gate the next few seasons. They also realized that the supposed pot of gold at the end of the local radio and television deal negotiations are mostly illusory – why would any network cough up megabucks for a franchise about which no one really cares – and that the team is also aware of it. This “rebuild” is a monumental crapshoot and all parties knew it.


  3. Gator – if I have learned ANYTHING in the last 9 years (spoiler alert – I haven’t…) – it’s that it’s futile to call B.S. on even the most obscure bits of wackiness you have presented in posts since I crashed the HBT party – but “Easter Cabybara” came awfully close…


    1. Ackcherly, the big rat is widely eaten for Lent in northern South America, especially (but not only) in Venezuela. Of course, these days in Venezuela eating rats is practically unavoidable especially with maduros. My advice to capybaras: swim south to Brazil in a hurry.


        1. No doubt but, of course, the anaconda’s native range already covers virtually all of the capybara’s native range, so they haven’t been missing anything. It just means their Brazillian relatives can stay home and enjoy their Easter dinner without having to crash their northern cousins’ party. I wish I could have said the same for my extended family.


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