Bits and Pieces Money Weekend Edition

Congratulations To The Orioles And Royals

As Scouts pointed out to us earlier in the week, the Orioles are mathematically eliminated from post season play. And as of Thursday the Royals, being 35.5 games behind Cleveland with 34 to go join the we couldn’t even make it through August club. With six days left in the month here’s hoping the White Sox can join the club.

Scouts, need I remind you that suicide is ILLEGAL!!!

I hope the rest of you don’t mind if today’s music consists of stuff I’ll want to be able to easily find as I drink my way through tonight’s Twins game.

Let’s start our comparison of team payroll to wins obtained.

Team Payroll / Projected Wins / Cost Per Win / Rank Cost Per Win

Cubs 181,810,002 / 94 / 1934148.95 / 23rd

Reds 101,718,451 / 71 / 1432654.23 / 11th

Yankees 161,305,917 / 102 / 1581430.55 / 14th

Orioles 148,160,873 / 47 / 3152359.00 / 30th

Blue Jays 164,122,200 / 74 / 2217867.56 / 25th

Phillies 93,188,166 / 88 / 1058956.43 / 6th

Cubs 3 Reds 2 | Yankees 7 Orioles 5 | Blue Jays 4 Phillies 2

A Few Surprises

The Yankees and Dodgers are only tenth and eleventh respectively in team payroll which surprised the hell out of this self righteously resentful mid market team fan. Nah I don’t have to change my thinking because they’ll probably buy the whole whore house this winter.

White Sox 86,050,333 / 61 / 1410661.19 / 10th

Tigers 111,286,000 / 67 / 1660985.07 / 16th

Mets 172,761,459 / 71 / 2433259.98 / 28th

Nationals 180,193,628 / 81 / 2224612.69 / 26th

Marlins 85,843,000 / 64 / 1341296.87 / 9th

Braves 83,306,041 / 92 / 905500.44 / 3rd

White Sox 6 Tigers 3 | Mets 3  Nationals 0 | Marlins 1 Braves 0

Minnesota Boring

The Twins are so damn boringly average – 16 in payroll – 18th in winning percentage. But Super Joe’s 23 mill comes off the books next year which means they can sign two Lance Lynn’s this winter and I should be in fine shape when delusional thinking spring training camp opens.

Rays 69,605,999 / 85 / 818894.10 / 2nd

Red Sox 206,247,686 / 113 / 1825200.76 / 21st

Brewers 90,827,856 / 89 / 1020537.70 / 4th

Pirates 84,585,833 / 80 / 1057322.91 / 5th

Athletics 62,652,500 / 96 / 652630.20 / 1st

Twins 129,560,000 / 78 / 1661025.64 / 17th

Rays 10 Red Sox 3 | Brewers 7 Pirates 6 (F/15) | Athletics 7 Twins 1

Money ball

The Athletics are the fourth winningest team in baseball and have the lowest payroll. Don’t you wish your team’s GM is as smart as Brad Pitt?

Royals 115,483,116 / 48 / 2405898.25 / 27th

Indians 136,652,167 / 93 / 1469378.13 / 12th

Cardinals 146,916,999/ 90 / 1632411.10 / 15th

Rockies 139,328,498 / 90 / 1548094.42 / 13th

Mariners 165,303,943 / 91 / 1816526.84 / 20th

Diamondbacks 116,038,416 / 91 / 1275147.42 / 8th

Royals 5 Indians 4 | Cardinals 7 Rockies 5 | Mariners 6 Diamondbacks 3

The Giants Suck

When they play God Bless America in the seventh inning I’ll listen to this instead

The Giants have the highest payroll in baseball and as of Thursday are three games below 500.

Astros 172,038,900 / 98 / 1755498.97 / 18th

Angels 171,248,332 / 80 / 2140604.15 / 24th

Dodgers 157,496,785 / .523 / 1852903.35 /  22nd

Padres 73,716,532 / .385 / 62 / 1188976.32 / 7th

Rangers 128,821,249 / 72 / 1789184.01 / 19th

Giants $221,426,944 / 79 / 2802872.70 / 29th

Astros 9 Angels 3 | Dodgers 11 Padres 1 | Rangers 7 Giants 6 (F/10)

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9 thoughts on “Bits and Pieces Money Weekend Edition

  1. Ahh, Judith. What a top drawer voice, I forget about her way too often and way too easily. Can’t even remember her name when I hear Georgy Girl (which was a waste of her voice though it was a nice catchy pop tune). I guess it’s because she’s down under. I must say though, that I don’t think I’d even want one Lance Lynn—let alone two—no matter what my payroll target was.

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    • But are not Lance Lynn’s cheaper by the dozen?

      Say, I’ve already started my mental prep for Delusional Thinking Spring Training Camp II and was wondering what would you think of ‘Trash TV orangutan falls asleep in his tanning bed and burns face off’. Followed by ‘Trust fund pukes scamper in fear’.

      Do you think that can work or should I direct my scouting staff in a different direction prior to the winter meetings?

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  2. Aside from the Verlander brunch bill, it’s been a pretty dull sports weekend down here in hot, wet, sultry Macondo. The guppies in my pond keep doing their job eating the mosquito larvae, keeping Zika far from our door and our progeny from being born Reslugnicans. Beep Beep has authorized giving away pairs of free tickets to anyone under 18 who attended Stupid Uniform Day. Hey, whatever works! We’re killing out another honeybee colony the little bastards are trying to establish inside our south wall. With his evasive condolence message to the family of a man whose ass he isn’t fit to wipe, Hair Hitler has once again confirmed himself to be the pettiest lowlife ever to infest the Presidency. The Dolfeen beat spawrtsritirs are busy finding silver linings to another exhibition loss, so all’s normal and stable here.

    Props to Hapulence for the statistical workups. My HP12 is too rusted from disuse to process that kind of stuff. It might even be full of mold.

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    • When a biologically 70 year old 14 year old badly, badly (I’m wondering did old Fred cornhole him?) brought up little boy is elected to high office, is that his fault or is it the fault of those who elected him?

      The first step in making American Great is to admit that we would not be making America Great…Again.

      Liked by 2 people

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