Prof: It’s appropriate that it’s a Girl Power Friday because we have lost the undeniable Queen of Soul, the woman whose powerful voice changed popular music as we know it. Today we’re paying tribute to the irreplaceable, supremely talented Aretha Franklin. I chose my favorite Aretha tunes, please feel free to put your favorites in the comments.
Cubs 1, Pirates 0 – Prof: Ian Happ’s solo homer was all Chicago needed to rise above divisional rival Pittsburgh. Jon Lester gets the win and eight strikeouts on the night.
Nationals 5, Cardinals 4 – Scouts: Probably a little too late, but the Nats finally won one. They are going to have to win a whole lot more if they want any chance at doing anything this year. Royce Harper drove in three runs and Tanner Roark was able to do just enough to eek out a win.
Rockies 5, Braves 3 – Scouts: Ronald Acuna Jr was able to return and lead the game off with a single. The coward who assaulted him, Jose Urena, was suspended a pathetic, wussy ass 6 games by the cowardly Commissioner, which for a starting pitcher is basically nothing. A meaningless slap on the wrist that will do NOTHING to stop this sort of assault in the future, and will only increase the odds the Braves take matters into their own hands in the future. Good job you pansy-ass fraidy-cat.
Any ways, the Rockies picked up 3 in the 9th thanks to a combination of Brad Brach’s less-than stellar pitching and some less-than good fielding.
Mets 24, Phillies 4 (Game 1) – Prof: What the hell happened in this game? I mean… seriously. What the everloving hell is this game? Here are some of the highlights for this ridiculous matchup:
- Joey Bats hit a grand slam.
- The Mets score ten in the fifth inning alone.
- Did I mention Joey Bats also had seven RBI?
- New York set a franchise record for most runs in a game.
- The Phillies were so demoralized they used not one but two position players to pitch for the final three innings.
- The Phillies also had four errors.
- Catcher Kevin Plawecki went 4-4 and had three RBI.
- Even relief pitcher Jerry Blevins got in on the offensive act, with an RBI of his own.
Mets 6, Phillies 9 (Game 2) – Scouts: Philly was able to recover from their brutal murder earlier in the day and after starting the game 2-0, they scored 3 in the first and 3 in the second. It was all downhill from there. Steven Matz is now 5-10 with a 4.60 ERA.
Angels 6, Rangers 8 – Scouts: A 4 run 8th wasn’t even the best part of this game. We had a triple play in the 4th. This was some true little league stuff that involved a lot of embarrassing base-running by the Angels. If you can call it that.
Blue Jays 2, Royals 6 – Prof: After a short delay of game, the Royals were able to get one over on Toronto. Good performances from Whit Merrifield, Jorge Bonifacio, and Rosell Herrera.
Tigers 8, Twins 15 – Scouts: Big day for big numbers. By the end of the second the Twins had 8 on the board, and followed up with a 7 run 6th. Of course all anyone wants to talk about is Nick Castellanos’s bat flip.
Rays 3, Yankees 1 – Prof: Blake Snell is the forgotten ace. I even forget that he’s still playing for Tampa Bay, if I’m honest. But he’s at a respectful 14-5 for the season, and helped lead his team to a series win at Yankee Stadium; the first for the team since 2014.
Diamondbacks 5, Padres 1 – Scouts: Clay Buchholz was spotted 5 runs before he even stepped on the field, and took it and ran. Buchholz threw a complete game allowing just 1 solo home run and 5 hits.