Bits and Pieces Nonexistent Weekend Edition

Past and Future

Before we can discuss past and future we must define the present. The present is the divider between past and future. But what is its duration? It is the now. How long is the now? Is it a year, a month, a week, a day, an hour, a minute, a second, a fraction of a second? How small a fraction? One tenth, thousandth, ten thousandth…one gazillionth? For whatever number we designate to equal infinity it can be asked what is that number plus 1. It can always be asked what is smaller than 1 / infinity plus 1. For that reason there is no such thing as a perfectly straight line, one which does not deviate from being the shortest path from point A to point B. For that reason there is no such thing as the past and the future. And if there are no such things as the past, present and future? That would mean that nothing has ever happened.

We in big fucking trouble. Do you exist? I’m pretty sure I don’t.

After you watch this you won’t want to exist.


The Yankees are 9 down with 47 to go. If the Red Sox finish 24 – 23 the Yankees would have to go 33 – 14 just to catch them.

Cubs 3 Nationals 2 | Red Sox 19 Orioles 12 | Rangers 12 Yankees 7

Cause and Effect

For the sake of discussion, let’s put aside for the moment that time does not exist, that nothing has ever happened, and that you and I do not exist.

Do hanging curveballs cause homeruns or do baseball bats? Or do 300 pounders who like to play catch with small cars?

We will further stipulate that if B follows A that it is possible to establish a causal and not merely coincidental relationship between A and B. Okay then, how do we define the most proximate cause? Even if we can, we should ask ourselves what is the proximate cause of the proximate cause, the proximate cause of the proximate proximate cause? Remember our chicken and the egg problem?

And to make matters worse we’re only talking about “patterns” to begin with.

Angels 4 Athletics 3 | Padres 2 Phillies 0 | Giants 13 Pirates 10

Up and Down

Now this is a gravitational concept which seems to return us through the emptiness of time to the Big Bang Theory.

Once upon a time everything was as small as 1/infinity plus 1 and then it went kaboom and everything’s been spreading out since. Except that everything likes to come back together. Asteroids like to smash into larger planets, moons and planets like to spin around larger things like planets and stars until they eventually smash into it or their favorite star blows up. And electrons like to spin around the nucleus, until an electrically needier atom pulls them away.

There is no up and down. The Orioles and Royals do not orbit the Red Sox, Yankees and Astros any more than the Red Sox, Yankees and Astros orbit them. Remember how the Astros used to be an asteroid. What the fuck is that shit about?

Good thing the Tigers don’t exist.

Rays 7 Blue Jays 0 | Tigers 5 Twins 3 | Reds 3 Diamondbacks 0

First and Last

Can you show me the starting point of a circle? If you cannot specify the duration of the present, if you cannot tell me how things expand and come together at the same time, if you cannot tell me the email address of the first mover, can you show me anything that is not a circle?

Mets 6 Marlins 2 | Braves 10 Brewers 1 | White Sox 1 Indians 0

Positive and Negative

Near and dear to me because it is the foundation of Boolean logic without which my nonexistence would be unknown to you. Good and bad, true and false, an atom enjoying an extra electron or missing one, binary.

However establishing that two things are mutually exclusive of each other makes establishing a causal relationship look like child’s play and can only be done in the abstract, in other words merely words talking to each other.

Nonetheless we will finish with…a positive. For those of you convinced of your existence I give you a kindred spirit.

Wow there were four shutouts that didn’t happen last night.

Mariners 5 Astros 2 | Cardinals 7 Royals 0 | Rockies 5 Dodgers 4


6 thoughts on “Bits and Pieces Nonexistent Weekend Edition

  1. Well, that’s 10:13 I’ll never get back. Guess I’ll have to make time stand still so I can get back to where I was before I watched that.

    Go non-existent Tiggers, beat those barely existent Twins.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Out west we have no real knowledge, only marketing skills (see iphone[infinite secondary designations]). I have learned cause and effect however. From a French guy who said “I drank too much wine. I have to piss. Cause and effect.”


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