Prof: Scout will recap the Braves/Nationals doubleheader today, but I wanted to touch on another Joe Simpson scandal. This old man will never stop embarrassing me, my fellow Braves fans, or the organization as a whole. Last time Grandpa Simpson opened his fool mouth, he insulted Chase Utley and the Dodgers by talking trash about a cancer fundraising t-shirt being worn during batting practice. Last night, he stepped in it again, this time accusing Juan Soto and the Nationals of lying about Soto’s age. Listen, not everyone is Julio Franco (or Albert Pujols – oops, did I say that?), and there’s nothing that I can see that warrants this type of slander from Simpson.
You guys know I’m no fan of the Curly Dubs but I give credit where it is due, and they have a lights out rookie who is physically mature for his age and plays some mighty good baseball. In my opinion, Soto is not unlike Bryce Harper in that he has been ready to play major league ball longer than he was able to, say, drive a car, register to vote (if you’re a citizen), or drink a beer. The Braves have some ridiculously young players, too, Joe. How would you like it if F.P. Santangelo talked smack about Ozzie Albies? I don’t usually quote Bryce Harper about anything, ever, but in regards to Simpson’s queries about Soto’s age? “That’s a clown question, bro.”
I can’t wait until this out of touch dinosaur retires.
Red Sox 10, Blue Jays 7 F/10 – Prof: Whew, child! Seven pitchers for Boston, five for Toronto, and it was chaotic as heck. In extra innings, though, the Blue Jays seemed to melt down… or at least Ken Giles did. He allowed five runs, including the go-ahead homer from Mitch Moreland.
Twins 3, Spiders 2 – Prof: What happened, Cookie? This loss from Carlos Carrasco proves that a couple of mistakes can change the whole game. Cookie actually pitched fairly well, had eight punchouts, went a little over six innings, but had a rough second inning that culminated in a Mitch Garver three run dinger. And it was that Garver bomb that was all the offense Minnesota needed to win.
Reds 6, Mets 1 – Scout: Sal Romano allowed just a pair of hits over 6 innings, which was more than the Reds needed to hold down the sadsack Mets. Prof’s love child Scooter Gennett went 3-4 with a RBI.
Mariners 3, Rangers 11 – Prof: It started out so great for Seattle. Nelly Cruz and Kyle Seager hit homers in the second inning, and Denard Span hit an RBI triple in the third. But then Texas took over and didn’t look back. Jurickson Profar hit a three run homer in the fifth inning to put the Rangers over the top. Nothing exciting as far as pitching unless you like to see old, broken down shells of themselves (King Felix and Bartolo) going way too long.
Yankees 4 , White Sox 3 F/13 – Scout: I guess it’s good the Yankees won this one, but it really shouldn’t have taken them 13 innings to take down the White Sox, considering the Yankees have more loses than the Sox have wins. Anways, Miguel Andujar tied it up with a homer in the 7th, then won it with a single in the 13th. Sonny Gray got the win out of the bullpen, his new home.
Padres 11, Brewers 5 – Scout: Ouch, San Diego was hot in the outfield. Franmil Reyes, Manuel Margot, and Hunter Renfroe all homered and racked up a combined 10 RBI’s in a brutal beat-down in Milwaukee.
Cubs 5, Royals 0 – Prof: Ayyyyyyyyy David Bote! Where have you been all my life? [Looks at his player profile and sees a 1993 birthdate] Oh, in nursery school! Young Mr. Bote went 2-3 and drove in three RBI in this match. Ben Zobrist was his usual clutch self.
Pirates 10, Rockies 2 – Prof: Oh, yikes. This was very ugly, and this is not a way for Colorado to win the division. Just a bad, bad look. Chad Bettis would rather forget the game even happened – in four and 2/3 innings the Rockies pitcher walked two and coughed up nine earned runs. Too many Pittsburgh players connected to count.
Phillies 5, D’backs 2 – Scout: Zach Grenkie has given up just 4 runs in his last 3 games, but has lost two of them. Dude keeps running into brick walls. This time it was Nick Pivetta who went 6 shutout innings.
Braves 3, Nationals 8 (Game 1) – Scout: You know, I’ve been monitoring a handful of teams ever since my beloved O’s went on a firesale, so of course I’ve been keeping a pretty close eye on the Oriole’s south, the Braves. Can anyone please explain to me what the fuck
Dave Martinez Brian Snitker (Thanks someguy) was thinking here? He pinch hit Kevin Gausman for Max Fried (who had to leave early due to injury) in the third, then immediately replaced Gausman before he could throw a pitch. What the fuck? Don’t you have a full on bench for this sort of thing? Why are you pinch hitting a lifetime starting AL pitcher on their off-day for anyone in the third, only to immediately yank them for…another pitcher. Anyways, the baseball gods have a way of punishing stupid, so Bryce Harper and Ryan Zimmerman went back to back in the 4th that paved the way to a big win in Atlanta for the Nats.
Braves 3, Nationals 1 (Game 2) – Scout: Both Sean Newcomb and Max Scherzer were on in the nightcap, allowing one run each, and combining for just 9 hits. It wasn’t until the 9th where the Braves really stepped it up, with a pair of singled by Nick Markakis, and Freddie Freeman, which set the stage for Ender Iciarte’s game winning triple.
Astros 2, Giants 1 – Prof: Slow, quiet night for these two teams. The two starters – Dallas Keuchel and Madison Bumgarner – pitched relatively well but both get no decisions. It came down to the bullpens.
Cardinals 3, Marlins 2 – Prof: There are two guys in St. Louis doing the heavy lifting these days. Those two guys are Miles Mikolas and Matt Carpenter. Mikolas is currently 12-3, and Carpenter smashed his 30th home run of the season. Here’s an interesting stat: there isn’t a single Redbird with a batting average over .300 right now. I’m not used to a mediocre Cardinals team, are you?
Orioles 3, Rays 4 – Prof: Even when the Orioles do decent stuff, they can’t capitalize on it. My dude Trey Mancini hit a single homer and Mark Trumbo actually hit an RBI single as well. However, the sadness that is the Orioles bullpen, now decimated after The Great Trade, gave up the ghost. After Alex Cobb, the hard luck starter, sat down, the Rays earned three runs.
Dodgers 4, A’s 2 – Scout: This could turn into quite the matchup, between two extreemly hot West Coast teams. LA and Rich Hill took the first game, allowing just a Khris Davis two-run shot in the 6th. LA was able to sprinkle a run here and a run there to start the series off right.
Tigers 5, Angels 11 – Scout: Shohei Ohtani still hasn’t worked his way back to the mound, but he’s doing some pretty good things behind the plate. Tonight it was a three run homer which was a large part of a 7 run opening frame for the Angels. After that, they pretty much put the game on cruise control.