Bits and Pieces Burning Questions Weekend Edition

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

A sandwich is meat between bread. A hotdog is meat served in a bun. Some argue that this makes it a sandwich while others argue that the fact that the bun is hinged rather than sliced all the way through means it isn’t. I dunno because a “pocket sandwich” isn’t sliced all the way though.

Some say that since the Krauts started messing with Wieners somewhere around Vienna and Frankfurt about a 100 years before the Earl of Sandwich had his revelation, you can’t call a hotdog a sandwich. Good argument but sometimes modern terms are applied to older objects so the next time you go to the ballpark enjoy your phallic sandwich.

In the interests of civil and open discussion two dissenting viewpoints:

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/08/a-hot-dog-is-not-a-sandwich/

http://www.hot-dog.org/press/national-hot-dog-and-sausage-council-announces-official-policy-hot-dog-sandwich-controversy

 

Cubs 5 Padres 4 | Phillies 5 Marlins 1 | Reds Nationals PP

Why is a showoff called a hotdog instead of sandwich?

What’s the difference between hamming it up and showing off? Sure a hotdog covered with sauerkraut, Swiss cheese sauce and five types of diced peppers is showing off but that’s only because it’s doing its best imitation of a Reuben. A hotdog with just mustard on it is hoping that you fall asleep before you eat it. Isn’t “dude’s a ham sandwich” much better?

Pirates 7 Cardinals 6 | Red Sox 4 Yankees 1 | Angels 7 Indians 4

Is there a God after all?

d4e0f-baseballgods

With 54 games left to play the Yankees are 7.5 games behind the Red Sox.  Looks highly likely that they’re gonna wind up as a 102 win wild card. My bet is that they’ll be squaring off with the Money Ball Athletics. What could be sweeter?

Braves 2 Mets 1 | White Sox 3 Rays 2 (F/10) | Rangers 11 Orioles 3

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

Eggs come out of chickens and chickens come out of eggs. Each has to be first, so which one is the first first? Plutarch concluded that this is a matter of infinite regress with no beginning and that therefore who’s on first. But we modern stat heads can’t settle for that.

Some evolutionary biologists insist that the answer is clearly the egg. They explain that the first chicken egg was laid by a proto chicken, preceded by a proto proto chicken laying the first proto chicken egg and so on. But that still leaves us with the conundrum of infinite regress. That’s why it is so important to find out if there is a God this season.

Brewers 5 Rockies 3 | Twins  6 Royals 4 | Diamondbacks 6 Giants 3

Star Trek or Star Wars?

I think you all know where I stand so I leave it to all of you to reason the answer out. I’m sure you’ll come to the correct conclusion.

While doing so remember the Culinary Pythagorean theorem, ice cream squared = pie squared + cake squared.

Astros 2 Dodgers 1 | Athletics 1 Tigers 0 (F/13) | Blue Jays 7 Mariners 2

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15 thoughts on “Bits and Pieces Burning Questions Weekend Edition

  1. There has to be some mathematical or astronomical reason that the Garbage Mustache, who is not great in the bullpen, has become a decent starter. Last night, he has a no-hitter going until paper said it out loud. Then I went to bed. Also, paper suggests that his mustache has filled in…

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  2. On the hot dog: there’s a terrific French restaurant in North Macondo called the Cote Gourmet, where chef Amina will make you an authentic French hot dog – yes, baked right inside its crunchy baguette and covered with melted, slightly crusty Gruyere cheese just like the real things sold orf wooden-wheeled carts in the streets of Paris (by the old Opera House) and along the Cloi Notre Dame in Chartres. Since the term “sandwich” has no currency in France, the entire question is irrelevant and the chien chaud is vastly superior to the agastronomic American version.

    Point two: on July 13, 1923, explorer-paleontologist Roy Chapman Andrews discovered the first fossil nest of a dinosaur in the Gobi Desert of Mongolia:

    Andrews thereby proved that dinosaurs laid eggs. However, he was unable to determine which came first.

    Solve that one first, then we’ll get back to your stupid chicken.

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      • Which reminds me of the story of the truck driver who was going down a country road at 70 MPH when he looked in his side view mirror and saw something small coming up fast behind him. As the object approached he realized it was a chicken, running along the road. He looked at his speedometer and shook his head, then depressed the accelerator and sped up to 75 MPH. He looked in his side view mirror and realized the chicken was still catching up to him. He depressed the accelerator again to 80 MPH. The chicken stuck out its left wing, pulled into the oncoming lane, passed his truck like it was standing still, stuck out its right wing and segued back into the lane ahead of him, then continued pulling away.

        This truck driver jams his accelerator to the floorboard and he’s now doing 90, but he can’t keep up with the chicken which keeps pulling away. Down the road is a farmhouse and as the chicken approaches the driveway it makes a sudden right turn and disappears into the farmyard. The driver hits his brakes and brings his rig to a screeching halt, pulls over and runs up the driveway into the barnyard. It’s full of chickens, rocketing around like billiard balls. Every so often one of them stops on a fence post or rail and he notices they’ve all got four legs. He goes up to the farmhouse door and knocks and the farmer comes out. “Yes sir, can I help ye,” the farmer asks. “Well,” says the trucker, “I was coming up the road yonder and one of your chickens passed me at 90 MPH and ducked in here. So I come in here and see you’ve got all these four legged chickens. What’s this all about?’

        The farmer laughs. “Awww, it’s just that me and the wife and our two kids all like dark meat so we started breeding chickens with four legs.”

        The trucker shakes his head. “Amazing,” he said. “Do they taste good?”

        “I dunno,” says the farmer with a shrug. “We ain’t been able to catch one yet.”

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        • I would argue that the genetic difference between two legged chickens and four legged chickens justifies that the four legged chicken be considered as a species sperate from the two legged chicken, or at least a sub species of the two legged chicken, making our two legged chicken the proto four legged chicken who laid the first four legged chicken egg.

          Infinite regress makes possible infinite progress, barring a regression to the mean.

          Dark meat > White meat

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  3. Am I the only one who cares? I watched Trek with my friend Brian regularly. Later, it was as a daily 6PM offering on Channel 13. When Star Wars arrived a decade later, I, like everyone, was thrilled and excited and went several times.

    Star Wars was magnificent. Stunning. As a sci fi fan I was thrilled. I was soon disappointed by the fan battle – they were both great. And unlike Ginger and Maryann, you could have both!

    I cannot say one is better – they are two different things. My personal preference ratio is probably 60% Trek 40% Wars but depending on sunspots and the ozone layer it varies. Recent announcement of the next generation (see what I did there?) of NASA astronauts probably has affected my ratio towards Trek.

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  4. Where to begin? Trek, because Jean-Luc is coming back; as a biologist, I can state conclusively that it was the egg first, because the genes change (mutate) in meiosis, which occurs during egg production, then they can recombine in the fertilized egg, both of which occur before there ever is an offspring, therefore what gave birth to the first chicken was not itself a chicken, it was the chicken’s immediate predecessor; I’ll take a streetside Parisian crepe anytime because hot dogs are gross whatever their classification; and finally, it looks here like Adam is trying to throw God a splitter—which only goes to show that we humans can’t be trusted.

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    • I knew I could trust you guys to come to the correct conclusion. I hope that Jean Luc doesn’t die in the arms of a young Captain Kirk after saving the galaxy from a madman trying to merge with a singularity in the past yet future cinematic timeline. Which came first, the future or the past?

      /I think I just got an idea for next Saturday – God I wish I lived in Colorado

      We should have been more precise. Which came first the first egg or the first egg layer? Of necessity I would say it would have to be the first egg as we can at least speculatively imagine the first egg emerging from a bubbling pool of amino acids, or something. But then wouldn’t the bubbling pool then be the first egg layer? Or is it more likely that the first egg was pooped out by some animal that came to be by some process other than pecking his way through an egg shell? Maybe Q will relay the answer to us through Jean Luc.

      Moving on, which came first scrambled eggs or omelets? Does the leavening chromosome of Quiche make it a different species than that of the omelet?

      Ballpark Franks plump when you cook em.

      Am I a ham sandwich or a hotdog?

      Or God is throwing Adam a splitter.

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      • In Star Trek, thankfully it doesn’t matter whether the future came after the past, it just matters what was said in previously-released episodes. And you’re onto something, Q WILL know!!!!!!!! Is John DeLancie coming back? (Wait, I meant the Q Continuum, not that Anon chan.)

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        • Am I or you one of them “17 angry democrats”?

          I hope the field of biology incudes the study of Temporal Mechanics, I need your input.

          /God, I wish I lived in Colorado

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        • I know we’re in a different ethos, but I would love to see the return of Quark. I’m an unapologetic Armin Shimmerman fan. It’s nice to have Sir Patrick back and all, but I like a little Mephistophelian influence – where’d I leave all those bars of gold pressed laudanum anyway?

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        • I’m not one of them but there are at least 17 Democrats that I’m angry at. And for OG: I believe Quark is still available at upscale supermarkets, yes? (Not so, Nog and Rom. Except Egg-Nog at the holidays.)

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      • What blows my mind is origination of life. The simple forms of life reproduce asexually – remember the giant single celled organism in TOS? (Spock: “Tell Dr. McCoy he would not have survived” and the best line of the episode, McCoy: “Shut up, Spock, we’re rescuing you!”) perhaps one of our more learned contributors can explane how such reproduction, which produces a twin of the parent, can evolve at all?

        The answer I believe is mutation. So the question becomes, what mutation created two-sex procreation?

        Dammit the “two-sex” question has me thinking of Ginger and Maryann again.

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        • One sex, two sex, red sex, blue sex. (So Seuss me.) But you are correct about the mutational start of sex. Theoretically. Although the Vedas say that Krishna created the blueprint for the entire creation, so there’s that. And I see that Grace Jones is back in the news of late—she makes me think of two-sex.

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