Scouts: Prof is taking a much deserved day off, so you are sadly stuck with just me today. But no fear, the better half of this blog will return tomorrow! Until then, let’s all form up at the cursing line to your left! Women and children are highly encouraged to join in on the fracking fun!
Nationals 0, Rays 1 – Scouts: Holy shit, things are bad for the Nats right now. Of course there is plenty of time to turn the ship around, but homies can’t buy a win and are running out of bad teams to match up against. There was some drama at the very, very end of the game. I watched the video but I still have no clue what the fuck it was all about. Someguy, can you fill me in? Best I can tell Sergio Romo was acting like a little bitch.
Orioles 2, Marines 3 – Scouts: YAWN. Nothing really interesting happened in this game, but it’s the Orioles, what do you expect? Your and mine favorite All-Star contender, Chris Davis went 0-3 with 3 strikeouts. Kyle Seager keyed the comeback with a two-run single in the 8th. Fuck yeah!
Yankees 6, Phillies 0 – Scouts: Luis Severino threw 7 shutout innings, and became the first pitcher to reach 12 wins. Jake Arrieta gave up two homers and 6 runs and now supports a 3.54 ERA to go with a 5-6 record. Shit.
D-Backs 5, Marlins 3 – Scouts: Will Arizona give up enough to pick up Manny Machado? If so, it would certainly make things interesting in the West. Just do it damnit!
Angels 1, Red Sox 9 – Scouts: Jackie Bradly Jr. knocked in 4 runners, and was responsible for one of Boston’s 4 homers in the game. My word L.A. you sure have turned into quite the shit-show.
A’s 9, Tigers 7 – Scouts: Histo, what the hell girl? Your boys have GOT to be better than this shit. Detroit jumped ahead to a early 6-0 lead, then just took a nap on the field as Oakland came storming back. Not good.
Pirates 3, Mets 4 F/10 – Scouts: Oh hell’s bells. Wilmer Flores singled in the 10th to walk it off for the terrible, horrible, no good Mets. The Mets also announced this would be the final game for GM Sandy Alderson who is taking a leave of absence for an undisclosed medical issue. Get better soon Sandy!
Reds 5, Braves 3 – Scouts: Jesus Fuck Atlanta! First you lose two of three vs Baltimore, now you get smoked by Matt Fucking Harvey. Get your shit together! You are the choosen ones damnit!
Padres 3, Rangers 2 – Scouts: Don’t you just fucking hate it when your team blows a 2 – nil lead in the 8th? You are just cruising along, enjoying a fine game, about to head to bed, and then Jake Diekman comes in and gives up 3 runs on 3 hits and you can’t figure out what the hell just happened.
Royals 1, Brewers 5 – Scouts: My God, Kansas City’s offense sucks ass. Freddy Peralta struck out 10 over 7 innings, giving up just a single hit.
Twins 4, White Sox 8 – Scouts: Dude, Minnesota really needs to stop losing to shit teams like the White Sox. Things were looking pretty good for the first half, then the wheels came off the truck and the Twins gave up 6 runs in Chicago’s final three innings.
Blue Jays 0, Astros 7 – Scouts: Look at you Charlie Morton! What a fucking guy! 13 strikeouts, 7 shut out innings, and he did it all without the run support which didn’t really show up until Houston piled on 5 insurance runs on in the 8th. Ryan Boruki pitched pretty good in his MLB debut, but well, dude, you just got thrown to the wolves on that one.
Spiders 2, Cardinals 11 – Scouts: Holy Shit Snacks what a beating this one was. Corey Kluber just took a whoopin, lasting just 1.2 innings, allowing 6 runs on 6 hits. Damn son.
Cubs 9, Dodgers 4 – Scouts: Javier Baez decided he didn’t like to fucking lose anymore and he was going to do something about it. So he racked up 4 hits on 5 at-bats, including two dongs and 5 RBI. This Girl was on FIRE!
Rockies 2, Giants 3 – Scouts: The big play in this game was a bases-loaded walk by Gorkys Hernandez in the 8th. I got nothing for ya here.