Prof: My favorite band is today’s musical selection. Happy Friday.
Orioles 2, Nationals 4 – Prof: Juan Soto is for real. I am sure that SomeGuy is on his hands and knees praising the good Lord above that they called this kid up. Especially when he’s batting .326 and the guy who is supposed to be your Moses, one Royce Harpler, is at an anemic .213. My theory about Royce being Bryce’s evil, weaker twin still stands. The real Bryce is locked up somewhere with that big ol’ beard still, and this clean shaven potato is the Mirror Universe Harper. But even Mirror Universe people have their moments, and Harper’s came in the third inning when he hit a sac fly to bring in Wilmer Difo.
Diamondbacks 9, Pirates 3 – Scouts: Ouch, it was 8-0 in the third, not much chance of a come back there.
Cubs 2, Reds 6 – Prof: Ugh, let me get this out of the way first. M-tt H-rv-y gets the win and my favorite Cubs pitcher, Kyle Hendricks, got the loss. Gross. Harvey Dented (see what I did there?) also hit Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo, so it wasn’t like he pitched this flawless game, it was just who sucked less. OK, now to the offense, which was surprisingly more exciting to me. The big play of the night was a Jesse Winker grand slam which brought home the World’s Sassiest Canadian, my small son, and Eugenio Suarez.
Cardinals 3, Brewers 11 – Scouts: Milwaukee is back on top after smacking around St. Lous with a bunch of crooked numbers. The Cardinals didn’t help themselves with count them, 4 flippin’ errors.
Mariners 3, Yankees 4 – Prof: I can’t believe the Mariners seem to be for real. Are they going to break the long drought of no playoff appearances this season? Time will only tell, but if they do it will be because of James Paxton, who got the loss but still pitched a hell of a game, and only because he gave up one run more than Luis Severino, who got the win. In fact, Paxton gave up those four runs in the first inning, but pitched a shutout after that. First inning jitters against one of the teams with the heaviest bats in MLB, including Aaron Judge who hit a two run homer.
Red Sox 9, Twins 2 – Scouts: Rick Porcello allowed just three baserunners over 7 shutout innings in a 9-2 ballgame that wasn’t nearly as close as the score would indicate. Come on Twins step it up!
Mets 4, Rockies 6 – Prof: Nolan Arenado should be a superstar. He should be as well known nationally as Bryce Harper. He’s not, and that is a crime, because he’s by far one of the finest players in the sport right now, and right up there with the cream of the crop as far as third base goes. In fact, on any given day I go between him and KB as the best third basemen in the league. Arenado hit his third homer in as many games and drove in a whopping five runs in this win over New York. For the Mets, Brandon Nimmo continues to give worthy performances that are wasted by his teammates. Please someone offer them something good for this kid to get him out of this purgatory.
Blue Jays 5, Angels 8 – Scouts: No one seems to want to pitch to Mike Trout these days, and I honestly can’t blame them. Nice of the Angels to win Trout’s 1,000th game though. Trout has reached base safely in 18 of his last 21 at bats.
Padres 0, Giants 3 – Scouts: Tyson Ross held the Giants to 1 run over 7 innings, but the Padres just couldn’t get the bats moving against Madison Bumgarner.
Athletics, White Sox – PPD