Prof: My favorite band is today’s musical selection. Happy Friday.
Orioles 2, Nationals 4 – Prof: Juan Soto is for real. I am sure that SomeGuy is on his hands and knees praising the good Lord above that they called this kid up. Especially when he’s batting .326 and the guy who is supposed to be your Moses, one Royce Harpler, is at an anemic .213. My theory about Royce being Bryce’s evil, weaker twin still stands. The real Bryce is locked up somewhere with that big ol’ beard still, and this clean shaven potato is the Mirror Universe Harper. But even Mirror Universe people have their moments, and Harper’s came in the third inning when he hit a sac fly to bring in Wilmer Difo.
Diamondbacks 9, Pirates 3 – Scouts: Ouch, it was 8-0 in the third, not much chance of a come back there.
Cubs 2, Reds 6 – Prof: Ugh, let me get this out of the way first. M-tt H-rv-y gets the win and my favorite Cubs pitcher, Kyle Hendricks, got the loss. Gross. Harvey Dented (see what I did there?) also hit Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo, so it wasn’t like he pitched this flawless game, it was just who sucked less. OK, now to the offense, which was surprisingly more exciting to me. The big play of the night was a Jesse Winker grand slam which brought home the World’s Sassiest Canadian, my small son, and Eugenio Suarez.
Cardinals 3, Brewers 11 – Scouts: Milwaukee is back on top after smacking around St. Lous with a bunch of crooked numbers. The Cardinals didn’t help themselves with count them, 4 flippin’ errors.
Mariners 3, Yankees 4 – Prof: I can’t believe the Mariners seem to be for real. Are they going to break the long drought of no playoff appearances this season? Time will only tell, but if they do it will be because of James Paxton, who got the loss but still pitched a hell of a game, and only because he gave up one run more than Luis Severino, who got the win. In fact, Paxton gave up those four runs in the first inning, but pitched a shutout after that. First inning jitters against one of the teams with the heaviest bats in MLB, including Aaron Judge who hit a two run homer.
Red Sox 9, Twins 2 – Scouts: Rick Porcello allowed just three baserunners over 7 shutout innings in a 9-2 ballgame that wasn’t nearly as close as the score would indicate. Come on Twins step it up!
Mets 4, Rockies 6 – Prof: Nolan Arenado should be a superstar. He should be as well known nationally as Bryce Harper. He’s not, and that is a crime, because he’s by far one of the finest players in the sport right now, and right up there with the cream of the crop as far as third base goes. In fact, on any given day I go between him and KB as the best third basemen in the league. Arenado hit his third homer in as many games and drove in a whopping five runs in this win over New York. For the Mets, Brandon Nimmo continues to give worthy performances that are wasted by his teammates. Please someone offer them something good for this kid to get him out of this purgatory.
Blue Jays 5, Angels 8 – Scouts: No one seems to want to pitch to Mike Trout these days, and I honestly can’t blame them. Nice of the Angels to win Trout’s 1,000th game though. Trout has reached base safely in 18 of his last 21 at bats.
Padres 0, Giants 3 – Scouts: Tyson Ross held the Giants to 1 run over 7 innings, but the Padres just couldn’t get the bats moving against Madison Bumgarner.
Athletics, White Sox – PPD
Fan Interference 
Now, now, Prof; Harper/Harpler had several moments last night where he almost looked positively Bryce-like.
He batted leadoff, as Davey Martinez is trying anything to get him going, with the latest theory being that he’s not selective enough at the plate. In the first inning, he saw nine pitches and worked a walk, had the sac fly in the second, walked again in the 5th (7 pitch AB), and finally reached base after barreling a baseball, doubling in the 8th ahead of a Treat Urner single and a Juan Soto double that plated both of them. All of this helped ensure that the Nats didn’t lose a third straight Scherzer start where Max gave up only two runs; read that again to understand how bad the Nats’ offense has been lately.
It’s only one game, but like that one green shoot that showed up on video just in time to save Joe Bauers life and turn things around in future USA, we’re hopeful that last night’s Harper performance hopefully might maybe be the start of something bigger, because it sure would be nice to not have to rely on a nineteen year old kid to carry the load all summer.
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Max Scherzer is absolutely gonna cruise to another Cy Young Award this season barring an epic meltdown. No matter how good deGrom, Nola, Corbin, or even my guy Newcomb have been, Max has just been plain better. This must be how people felt going against Maddux in his prime. Yes, I did just say that.
I need a clever name for Soto. I wish his name were actually Sotomayor so I could call him Justice, for he is Lord and Executioner of baseballs.
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There have been a couple of nicknames that are sort of gaining traction around here for Soto. One of his teammates (I think it was Justin Miller) called him “The Truth” so some are trying to make “La Verdad” happen. My preference, though, is for “Childish Bambino”, even if it won’t be something that can be used as he ages:
https://breakingt.com/collections/featured-breakingt-shirts/products/juan-soto-shirt-childish-bambino?rfsn=207457.16c67
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Childish Bambino LMAO
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Big picture: the Twins won 2 of 3 three from the Phils. Than they won 2 of 3 from the high flying Bo Sox. Young gun Romero versus the Rangers here tonight. 2 of 3, 2 of 3, 2 of 3… It will be hard for the Phils, and the Motown felines to keep up with that.
Winter is yet months away.
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Just checking in. Due to the six hour time difference here I fall asleep before most of the games begin and have to scrape together the scores in the morning with my mental dialysis unit. I see the Gopher King got lit up last night and the Feesh are back to eighteen games under the strange attractor. So it goes. I also see the Beanbags keeping pace with the Borg despite the Bronx Boomers’ scorching pace of late, the Brooze pulling ahead in the NL Central and the Gnats sinking slowly in the east.
It’s tough to find anything to eat here besides seafood and salads. I’ve sworn orf pasta, legumes, eggplant, peppers and tomato products and most meats and poultry not verifiably pasture-raised, so after flying ten and a half hours and skirmishing with jet lag I’m dining pretty much the same way I do at home, plus melatonin. I’ve sat in a trattoria that was supposed to make the best minestrone on the planet and turned it down in as gentlemanly a fashion as I could. I still drew at pitying expression from the waiter although I think I earned some coglione cred from my companions. The aroma will have to keep me. The wine’s pretty good, though….
Trekking over to the Vatican tomorrow, mostly out of respect for Pope Francis, the first pope I’ve really admired since John XXIII. Then Monday Il Conferencia begins in earnest. There are some sessions on Italo Calvino, one of my alltime favorite oddball novelists along with Vonnegut, Pavic and Abe. If you’re looking for something to read to shake orf the boredom of the All Star break, I recommend his Invisible Cities, or maybe The Baron in the Trees, or my personal favorite, Cosmicomics:
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