Bits and Pieces Fathers Day Weekend Edition

A word about words

The words we use to relay that which we find in the furthermost reaches of our thoughts can never be exact ones, because they come from an unchartered frontier. But that is also why they are sometimes beautiful.

 

Yankees 5 Rays 0 | Pirates 3 Reds 2 | Blue Jays 6 Nats 5

This Father’s Pain

I chauffeured one my granddaughters about this week. She is the daughter of my step daughter. I was thinking about how lucky I am that she calls me “grandpa”. I don’t know if there even is such a thing as “step grandpa”.

My other step daughter, who I first got to know when she was 1 ½ years old, died in 2008. The proximate cause was a cardiac event. The real reason was substance abuse.

God fucking damn me.

When God finally taught me that I don’t wanna live no more really meant I ain’t afraid of dying no more, the pain became wisdom and the joy became love.

Twins 6  Indians 3 | Padres 9 Braves 3 | Rockies 9 Rangers 5

This Father’s Joy

I’m told the whole clan is dropping by here tomorrow. I’ll get to see the middle aged parents who somehow came to replace the kids I used to take sledding in this existence. I’ll watch them watch the teen agers (shudder) who somehow came to replace the kids they used to take sledding and the infants they used to hold. The whole clan will be here past and present.

Oh and rumor has it they’re bringing a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.

Tigers 4 White Sox 3 | Brewers 13 Phillies 2 | Astros 7 Royals 3

Farm Report

Ivan was joined by his buddy Ralph in camp. Ivan decided to try his hand at pitching. I can’t tell you how well the ball was coming out of his hand because it literally didn’t leave his hand. Lucky for him Ralph isn’t the best contact hitter. Ralph reciprocated by letting Ivan hit off the tee, the tee being Ralph’s hand. Now that’s friendship.

 Cubs 13 Cardinals 5 | Angels 8 Athletics 4 | Diamondbacks 7 Mets 3

This Father’s Father

To save money my dad used to cut mine and my brother’s hair, at least until he didn’t want to have anything to do with the emerging hippie hair styles. As I mentioned Memorial Day weekend, he was a “former” Marine, so he gave us crew cuts. He had this thing with several arms extending from its handle, sort of like a tuning fork. He’d lay it flat on the top of our heads and run the clipper over the top of it so that any hair daring to be longer than the width of the arms would be cut. You see that way there won’t be some hairs that are 2/8ths of an inch long, some 3/8, some 4/8s ,  but every one exactly 3/8s.

He gave us our haircuts every other Saturday in the basement (it’s easiest to sweep hair up off of concrete) and his radio would most always be tuned to Paul Harvey.

Mariners 7 Red Sox 6 | Dodgers 3 Giants 2

To Sparty and His Dad

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21 thoughts on “Bits and Pieces Fathers Day Weekend Edition

  1. Yesterday, Jose Iglesias became an American citizen. Upon arriving at the ballpark, he introduced himself to Lloyd McClendon as Joe Church. Henceforth, he shall ever be.

    Paper and I were going to attend the minor league game this weekend, but it was sold out because friggin’ Tim Tebow is in town (visiting team). Barf

    Zimmermann returns today. The kid from Jerry Maguire is out then. These earnest kids are more fun to watch than the jaded angry stars of last year. Everyone knew they were biding their time last year. This year, the youngsters just wanna play. If only they also wanted plate discipline.

    Happy World Cup to our little baseball collective! Iceland!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t have good memories of my dad. In fact, most everything I’d like to forget. The only thing good he’s ever done for me, other than forget my existence for decades at a time, is that when I was a little kid he took me to a Reds/Tigers exhibition game in Memphis. I got to see Chris Sabo, Cecil Fielder, and Travis Fryman. For a little girl whose life revolved around baseball, it was the most wonderful thing. Of course, having to spend time with my dad made me so nervous and scared I got a nose bleed, but watching live baseball for the very first time in my life was worth it.

    Later I found out my mother basically bought him off to force him to take me. I wish she would have just taken me herself instead of making him do it. However, even knowing this, this is my best memory of my dad, three hours in which we actually acted like a family who loved each other.

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    • You shouldn’t feel bad for me. yeah if I could go back in a time machine I would do things differently and maybe she’s still be alive. But life doesn’t work that way and as CCR put it “there were many things I didn’t know”. The pain of Kara’s death has shown me some of those things.

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  3. I don’t normally reflect on fatherhood, because I didn’t quite get there myself and because my own Dad passed away some 37 years ago. I do know that the greatest effect he had on me was in not being around during my childhood. There was so much Mom couldn’t teach me, G-d bless her anyway. Lack of a reliable father figure is a too-little acknowledged obstacle for boys. He broke promises and he had a bad temper, but he did try to reach out now and then, and there is some solace to take in that. I still don’t know why he and Mom broke up, but doubtless it was about 50/50— as it so often is. But I had the experience of being the trigger point of the divorce. I was deathly sick and apparently he got scared of that somehow. Mom sensed this as a lack of support and kicked him out. That’s my best shot at an explanation. He could’ve left my life for good, but he did not, and for that I am glad. We were able to forge some semblance of a relationship in his later years, because we both tried and I’m glad for that too. I left college the day after I heard his illness was much worse than I thought, flew 1500 miles and got there the day before he slipped into who-knows-where. I was there to re-connect with him right before he passed away. Thanks Dad, for doing what you could do; so many do not.

    Liked by 3 people

    • The tragedy for so many of us is when the love is there, but no one knows how to show it. It’s much easier when it’s understood by all that the parent hates your guts. But when you are loved but circumstances or something keep you from experiencing that love… Well, it’s a sad thing. I’m glad you were able to find that love from your dad, what a blessing.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t know what to say…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….……………………………………………………………………..

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  5. I hope my kids remember me well. I’ve got warm relations with all of them and great relations with the two youngest, but then I had finally grown up myself by the time the latter were born. I think the best advice I ever gave my son was “never invite your pet rattlesnake to give you a blow job.”

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  6. I spent Father’s Day weekend with my best buddy and grandson. For those who keep count, my step-daughter’s son.

    If you stop to keep count of such things, you miss out on your happiest opportunities.

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