Prof: Baseball says farewell to the legendary Red Schoendienst, who has passed away. He was an integral part of the St. Louis Cardinals during the golden age of baseball, both as a player in the 40s and 50s, and as a manager in the 60s. Schoendienst helped bring many a title to the Redbirds and was well beloved by many Cards fans, including my own late grandfather, who counted him among his most favorite players of all time along with Bob Gibson. Red was 95 years old and the oldest living Hall of Famer at the time of his death. It’s St. Louis-area (and adjacent) musicians in today’s post in honor of one of the greatest Cardinals of all time.
Dodgers 9, Pirates 11 – Prof: The Pirates got their mojo back in this offensive slugfest against Los Angeles. Pittsburgh knocked in four in the second, LA countered in the third with four of their own. The Dodgers tried their best but couldn’t make up for a two run fourth inning in which David Freese hit a two run double to put the Bucs over the top.
Athletics 2, Rangers 8 – Scouts: The Mystical Bartolo Colon picked up career win number 243. Colon’s first career win came in 1919 against a young hitter/pitcher by the name of baby ruth. It was a 19 inning complete game shut out in which Colon threw 345 pitches using both hands, in the snow, uphill both ways. The way God intended men to play baseball.
Marlins 11, Cardinals 3 – Scouts: When not spending time exiling reporters who spend more time in the British Virgin Islands than he does, Derek Jeter kicks back, bathes himself in sanitizer and enjoys a good old fashioned asskicking by the worst offense in all of baseball. Miami pounded out 17 hits, including three homers in a absolute shellacking of the Cardinals bullpen. This is a very tough series for the Cardinals as the Marlins sold off all their electronics on electronic bay dot com long ago, and thus there were no scouting reports to hack.
Royals 3, Angels 4 – Scouts: Shohei Ohtani left the game in the 5th with a blister on me finger. An injury common to well most of the population, but devastating to a pitcher. No matter because Ian Kinsler and Justin Upton hit massive dongs and the sweep of the terrible Royals were complete.
Phillies 5, Cubs 7 – Prof: So, um… let me paint you a picture. It’s the bottom of the ninth. You have two outs. The opposing pitcher is starting to lose it a little bit, the bases are loaded. It’s not your best hitter up at the plate; in fact it’s a guy whose best days are long behind him. You’re staring defeat in the face. And then… this happens:
White Sox 5, Twins 2 – Scouts: Tim Anderson has two hits and three RBI’s which was more than anything the entire Twins franchise could produce. Seriously guys, it’s the fucking White Sox what the hell?
Mariners 5, Astros 7 – Scouts: The M’s are good, but not this good. The Astros reminded everyone that they still have Jose Altuve, while Yuli Gurriel improved on a now 12 game hit streak as the Astros pulled to within one of Division leader Mariners. I mean we all know it’s just a matter of time before Seattle falls on their face right?
Rays 2, Nationals 11 – Prof: Michael A Taylor went 3-5 and drove in three. Anthony Rendon went 4-5 with three RBI, including two doubles. The Nats can’t get enough of Super Golden RISP.
Orioles 1, Mets 0 – Prof: B-more sweepy. Dylan Bundy must’ve had his V8 last night because he shut out the hapless Mets over seven innings, the bullpen ace came through (Richard Bleier – if the Orioles are smart they will contact a team who desperately needs reliable bullpen arms and make a trade cough cough Atlanta) and the closer (Brad Brach) was able to shut it down. The O’s lone run came courtesy of a Manny Machado sac fly which brought in Craig Gentry.
Scouts: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Mets suck!
Braves 1, Padres 3 – Prof: There’s really no excuse for the Braves losing this series against San Diego. I mean, actually, there is – having scheduled no real getaway time between a road series out east then swinging over towards the west coast – but that shouldn’t be an issue. It’s a real shame, because Mike Foltynewicz pitched well despite the loss – even struck out eight of the Pads. What did Atlanta in was a two hit second inning and a strong relief performance from Brad Hand.
Diamondbacks 4, Giants 5 F/10 – Scouts: Ugh, gorram Giants walked off the game and actually won the series against Arizona.
Rockies 6, Reds 3 – Prof: First, let’s discuss my small wee son, my precious, Scooter Gennett. He’s batting .344? His batting average is the best on the entire Cincinnati squad? This is crazy pants. Even in my wildest dreams I would have never though the kid would turn it around like this. The Reds would have been down even further had it not been for Scooter having two RBI on the day. Now, let’s talk about the Rockies. Big night for Gerardo Parra and Tony Wolters, both of whom went 2-4 and drove in two runs a piece. Ian Desmond hit a home run and drove in two himself.
Brewers 1, Spiders 3 – Scouts: Carlos Carrasco struck out 10 over 7 and now Milwaulkee has to go outside, curse, spin three times and spit to get the funk off them. Michael Brantley broke the game open by beating a massive shift, and as we all were taught by Verlander, that’s just not a fair way to play baseball and he must be punished.
Yankees 3, Blue Jays 0 F/13 – Prof: Scoreless for thirteen innings and then the huge, ginormous outfield Voltron known as Judge and Stanton went yard and ended it all.
Tigers 1, Red Sox 7 – Scouts: Eduardo Rodriguez, whom I will always remember as the guy the Orioles gave away for a bullpen rental (albeit a very good one) is finally starting to turn into a mighty damn fine starting pitcher.