Normally I get a head start on these posts in Friday afternoon during the kids naptime. Yesterday I had to let my bio-chemical services provider poke and prod me so that I wouldn’t have to start getting my blood pressure meds from a pharmacy in India. Feel free to augment today’s hangover inspired entertainment.
I do have a sound track for you. No I don’t know how it’s relevant to anything, I just think it’s historic, really good, intricate and therefore basebally.
The Tigers are 7 – 3 over their last 10 and only 3.5 behind the Tribe. Maybe the Tigers will be one of this year’s surprises. If the Twins go blub blub, I hope so.
Yankees 4 Orioles 1 | Blue Jays 2 Tigers 5 | Cubs 7 Mets 4
Stolen Bases: 2009 – 2970 / 2017 – 2527 / 2018 – on pace for 2479
A couple of weeks ago I argued that the game be shortened to 7 innings not to shorten the game in terms of minutes or hours, but to move it away from home run derby – strike out fest and towards more of the things you get to watch when there are, you know balls in play and guys on base, by increasing the percentage of times when teams are forced to do everything they can to get a vital run or two in the final innings.
Here’s the link to a piece by Olney over at ESPN where I got this stuff and includes some interesting remarks by Joe Madden. For context keep in mind that there are 2430 (15 x 162) regular season MLB games per year.
There were 5 goose eggs handed out yesterday. Wait to you get a load of the Royals score. Hey the Brew Crew is in first. The Gods continue to tease me.
Nationals 0 Braves 4 | Brewers 3 White Sox 8 | Indians 4 Twins 7
Pitchouts: 2009 – 478 / 2017 – 129 / 2018 – on pace for 74
Going by run differential the Stro’s are the best team in baseball. If you’re gonna lose do it right. Another goose egg.
Red Sox 3 Astros 7 | Athletics 16 Royals 0 | Pirates 4 Cardinals 0
Sacrifice Bunts: 2009 1635 / 2017 – 925 / 2018 – on pace for 850
Going by run differential the Dodgers are better than their record. Going by run differential the Marlins are the worst team in baseball. And yay another goose egg.
Dodgers 11 Rockies 8 | Marlins 1 Diamondbacks 9 | Rangers 0 Angels 6
Hit and Run Attempts: 2009 – 1885 / 2017 – 1463 / 2018 – on pace for 1546
Going by run differential the Mariners are playing in good fortune. Glad to see that the Gods tossed a morsel the way of Reds fans. And we wind things up with a goose egg.
Rays 3 Mariners 4 | Reds 7 Padres 2 | Phillies 0 Giants 4
I have to leave in a bit for a get together with my physical family. When I get back I hope to see that my digital one has lit it up.
Fan Interference 
Last night, my beloved Atlanta Braves TORE IT THE EFF UP and I couldn’t be more proud. Frosted Folty Charms, they’re magically delicious!!!!!! COMPLETE GAME SHUT OUT Y’ALL YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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Which only strengthens my conviction that the Gnats will go gangbangs to acquire J T Realmuto by, if not before, the waiver deadline. Last night the Feesh sank to 17 under the strange attractor (which is in danger of falling into mere mathematical hypothesis at 20 under, which looms) and 14 games out. Two of their so-called “stud” pitchers of the future, Eleiser Hernandez and Jarlin Garcia, got their sphincters handed to them by the Snakes in a 9-1 rout. The Suicide Bomber came in briefly and gave up a home run on his first pitch. So it went.
On the bright side, Lewis Brinson singled in the meaningless (if iconic) Feesh run, his only hit in a 1-3 night with a walk and two srikeouts. That single will probably earn him another couple of week of enforced humiliation in the Show. It must have seemed weird to find himself standing on first twice in the same game. Also, Brinson (.155/.204/.462) is on the All Star Ballot, which reminds us yet again that the Ancient Old Ones created life on Earth as a joke.
Tonight the Rainbow Warriors send Caleb Smith up against Zack “Wash Your Hands!” Greinke.
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Greinke has a point, people DO need to wash their damn dirty hands!!!
Anyway, yeah, I voted JT for All Star because he deserves it. He’s really good this year.
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I thought I read somewhere that some of the pitchers piss on their hands because they believe that it does something to their skin which improves their grip. Maybe there’s a context to Zack’s sentiments that we don’t know about.
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I wonder what he thinks of fecal enemas.
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I’ve always meant to ask you, are you one of the Gods. If you are I forgive you. I suppose that the endlessness of immortality brings on a boredom only ameliorated by the amusement of capricious cruelty.
Hic.
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Wowbagger, is that you?
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