He Said, She Said – Scores and Updates for 5/29/18

Prof: We’re only doing two songs today, because Weezer covered two Toto songs and the emo hipster in me is in heaven. Share with me my joys, won’t you?



Twins 1, Royals 2 F/14Scouts: A day after finally getting back on the winning track, the Twins go and allow the Royals to hold them to one run and 7 hits over 14 innings.  Alcides Escobar smoked a walk-off to put the Twins out of their misery.

Giants 4, Rockies 11Prof: Oh my goodness. The Shark is shark-bit. It’s getting to the point that when Jeff Samardzija takes the bump, it’s an automatic loss for San Francisco. Last night was no different. He didn’t even start. That “honor” belonged to Dereck Rodriguez, but truly there was nothing quality being trotted out to the mound for the Giants. Cory Gearrin? Ty Blach? And the aforementioned Shark all made a Voltron of Suck. The lousy didn’t all pitch, either; Kolby Tomlinson made a really unfortunate error which lead to a further error by Brandon Belt. Anyway, the Rockies finally got to 30 wins and they are coming for the NL West. Watch out Dodgers and Gritty Snakes!


Reds 2, Diamondbacks 5Prof: First things first – MY SMALL CHILD, MY TINY WEE SON, Ryan “Scooter” Gennett, won NL Player of the Week! My boy only went 1-4 last night, but he drove in a run, so that’s good for Cincinnati. It was the Jake Lamb show for Arizona, who drove in Ketel  “30 Number One Hits by the Original Artists” Marte in the third and whose smart heads-up play brought home Jarrod Dyson in the fifth.

Rays 4, Athletics 3Scouts: You know, I don’t really get Tampa.  They have traded away basically anyone who is anyone on their team and they are still a game above .500.  They are a team that keeps on winning when they have absolutely zero right to.  Take tonight’s game as an example.  They committed three errors, ran into three outs on the bases, and Blake Snell was all kinds of wild.  And yet they still freaking beat the A’s who aren’t that bad of a team.

Rangers 9, Mariners 5 – Scouts: Tie ball game in the 9th, when Rougned Odor broke it open with a three-run double off closer Edwin Diaz.  The loss was Seattle’s second in 11 games.

Phillies 6, Dodgers 1Scouts: Raise your hand if you had completely forgotten that Jake Arrieta was pitching for the Phillies.  Arrieta hasn’t allowed a run in three of his 5 starts in May and ended with a .90 ERA for the month.

fozzie bear.gifCardinals 6, Brewers 1Prof: MICHAEL WACHA WACHA WACHA! I know he probably hates it when people says that, but I’m sorry, cutie patootie. You’re a Redbird, you’re getting the Fozzie Bear treatment. Anyway, St. Louis didn’t need Wacha to pitch two-hit baseball with the way their bats attacked poor Zach Davies and the Brew Crew. The Cards usually go hard to Miller Park anyway, but it was crazy. The night belonged to Matt Carpenter, who walked in a run (!!!) and hit a solo shot.

Marlins 5, Padres 9Scouts: Franmil Reyes hit a beautiful homer for the Padres.  Dan Straily didn’t have his best stuff as he picked up his first loss on the season.

White Sox 3, Spiders 7Prof: YOU GET A HOME RUN AND YOU GET A HOME RUN AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU! Well, actually, just Michael Brantley, Jose Ramirez, and Jason Kipnis for the Magical Land of Cleve. But those three one-run wonders helped propel Cleveland to a big win over the sad Chicago White Sox. Guys, remember when Lucas Giolito was going to be the next big thing? He’s 3-6 right now with an ERA of 7.53. Meep.

Nationals 3, Orioles 2Prof: Royce Harpler mashed his 17th tater. Tasty. His solo run in the first inning set the tone, and Manny Machado answered in kind for Baltimore in the bottom of the first. The difference in this game was a Mark Reynolds solo blast in the fourth, the added run needed to hand Dylan Bundy and Birdland an L.

Astros 5, Yankees 6 F/10Prof: Oh, no, Houston. Y’all wasted a perfectly awesome effort from Charlie Effin’ Morton (cleaned up for the sensitive). Thanks, Brad Peacock! Gleyber Torres (The AL player of the week!) hit the game winning single in the tenth inning, defeating Orbit’s boys.


Cubs 8, Pirates 6 Scouts: Other than a little booing, nothing more dramatic occurred to Anthony Rizzo after his dangerous take-out slide the night before.  MLB actually reviewed the slide and determined that it should have been ruled as interference (I completely agree).  A lot of people expected Rizzo to wear one last night, but thankfully cooler heads prevailed.  Hopefully Rizzo will take more care when sliding into unprotected players as it’s starting to become a pretty bad habit and he’s beginning to garner a rep.  As for the game, RIzzo his a solo homer and both Ben Zobrist and Kyle Schwarber added two-run shots and Jon Lester gave up his first homer to a lefty this season.

Blue Jays 3, Red Sox 8 Scouts: All 9 starters delivered at least one hit, and Rick Porcello pitched effectively over 6.2 innings and well that sort of thing tends to lead to a lot of victories.


Angels 9, Tigers 2Prof: Good news, or bad news? Good news is that Detroit found an answer to Mike Trout and my boy Simba, holding them to 1-4 at the plate. Bad news is that they lost the plot completely and allowed Ian Kinsler to go 3-3 with 3 RBI.

Mets 6, Braves 7Prof: On Twitter, Keith Hernandez – yes, THAT Keith Hernandez – said some slanderous mess about the Braves bullpen. Now, OK, they aren’t good. But they aren’t the worst. The Braves bullpen is roughly middle of the road. The Mets’ pen is just as lousy as the Atlanta one is. Last night the Braves beat the Mets by one point. A walk-off homer from young Johan Carmargo. So it looks like “our” bullpen lasted just long enough to yank a victory from yours, Keith. There was a slight rain delay. I bless the rains down in Atlanta.




14 thoughts on “He Said, She Said – Scores and Updates for 5/29/18

  1. It didn’t take long for the Astros’ bullpen to go from best ERA in baseball to a hot mess, did it? Three blown wins in two weeks.


        1. It fogged up an enclosed space whilst dying his mane a very natural, age appropriate black.


  2. The Twins had poo poo in their starting rotation last year and this year they have pop guns in their offense. Their team pitching stats are middle of the pack and on the rise. Meanwhile they are 29th in runs scored and the other offensive team stats are as nearly offensive.

    So frustrating. They finally have a rotation that gives them a good chance to win every day given at least an average offense and play in a division where that could well be enough. It feels like the season is starting to slip away, but perhaps the Gods will decide to toy with me before lowering the final boom. I’ll settle for some short term instant gratification followed by wretched gloom. I’m used to hangovers.


  3. Well, the Feesh melted down (can you melt Feesh? I never tried – they just crisp and stink up the kitchen). They now find themselves at 20-34, a season-worst 14 games south of the strange attractor, 12 orf the pace and still dead last in slugging and attendance despite Riddle’s inside the park home run and the efforts of the Macondo Banana Massacre Field camera crews not to show the stands if at all possible. You would normally find the fans who do show up sleeping on a steam grating in Albany and the interior of the stadium during home games is beginning to look a lot like downtown Sheffield in 28 Days Later.

    But that will improve as it gets warmer up north and the fans head back up for the summer.


      1. Can we maybe interpose a bit of rhetorical precision here and note there’s a difference between “melt” and “decompose”?


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