Scouts: Sorry for the late post all, I had a bit of a dental emergency when I lost a crown, and found out now they want to do several thousand dollars worth of additional stuff including pulling two wisdom teeth and all kinds of other fun and exciting stuff. In the end, it’s going to be a pretty brutal experience and it’s gonna cost me a fortune. As a result, Prof may be flying solo for a few days, so make sure to be extra sweet to her and help us out with big highlights and the like that we may miss. As for me, well go have a really enjoyable meal in my honor as I’ll probably be eating apple sauce and pudding for a little while. With any luck I’ll be back sooner rather than later.
Padres 2, Nationals 10 – Prof: Juan Soto is nineteen years old. He was born after I graduated from high school. Of all the kids in the bigs that I say I could be their mother, in this case I LITERALLY COULD BE HIS MOTHER. This young man was called up today (SomeGuy had a tremendous breakdown in yesterday’s comments) and he did not disappoint. In fact, what did he do at his first at-bat? Hit a three run homer. That’s nothing to sneeze at. Great nights from Trea Turner, Bryce Harper, and Mark Reynolds as well, capped off by a seven inning winning performance from Gio Gonzalez.
Braves 0, Phillies 3 – Scouts: What the…holy hell. Philly turned to Nick Pivetta, whom I never really heard of before to shut out the white hot Braves. (Are we not allowed to call them the Barves anymore?) Pivetta gave up just 4 hits over 7 innings and struck out 7.
Marlins 0, Mets 2 – Prof: An under-performing team beats a Four-A team with singles and doubles. Sounds about right. The big news was that New York is thinking about bringing in Jose Bautista, last seen with his tail between his legs hitchhiking from SunTrust Park after getting his walking papers. If the Mets are seriously considering bringing Joey Bats in, whose batting average is hovering around .170 max, it’s only a matter of time before they bring up someone who can actually sell some swag… one Tim Tebow.
Diamondbacks 2, Brewers 4 – Prof: The Gritty Snakes aren’t having a very good time on the road. The Brew Crew, however, is having a par-tay. The surprising Milwaukee squad brought out the big bats – with Travis Shaw, Domingo Santana, and Lorenzo Cain all hitting homers. Chase Anderson found his groove, pitching very well for six innings, while last season’s most dominant closer – Corey “Evil” Knebel – is back from injury like it never happened. (Between Knebel and Josh Hader, could the Brewers actually have the best one-two closing punch in baseball?) The biggest thing was that Zack Greinke, a former Brewer who traditionally pitches well at Miller Park, gave up four runs and got the loss. Well, I suppose no one’s perfect.
Yankees 10, Rangers 5 – Scouts: Eight home runs were hit in game, and the biggest shock is most of them were hiut by the bottom half of the orders. Gleyber Torres hit a pair, Neil Walker hit one, Aaron Hicks had one, and Aaron Judge followed with one. For the Rangers, it was Joey Gallo, Roughned Odor, and Ronald Guzman.
Orioles 3, White Sox 2 – Scouts: The only major statistic Manny Machado does not lead the Orioles in at this point is strikeouts. He’s currently 4th in MLB in average, tied for first in HR, tops in RBI, fifth in OPB, second in OPS, and third in Slugging. If not for Mookie Betts, he’d be the clear front runner for MVP.
Tigers 2, Twins 4 – Prof: It’s a grudge match between Historio’s Tigers and Happy’s Twins. It started out roses for Nick Castellanos, who hit a solo dinger in the first inning and an RBI single in the third. But then Minnesota took over and never looked back. Max Kepler hit a two run double in the fifth to get it started, and then the Twins broke it open in the eighth, winning off a Rex Grossman sac fly that brought in Eddie Rosario.
Royals 0, Cardinals 6 – Scouts: Miles Mikolas is now 6-0 with a 2.24 ERA after throwing a complete game, 4-hit shutout of the hapless Royals. He faced Ian Kennedy who is now 1-5 with a 5.30 ERA and lasted just 5.2 innings. Just doesn’t seem fair.
Rockies 2, Dodgers 1 – Scouts: Carlos Gonzalez singled in the winning run in the 8th, while German Marquez allowed just two hits and one run in 7 dominant innings.