Prof: For those who missed it or take the weekends off, we had a loss in our extended family. Send positive thoughts and love to our very own Spartan, whose father passed away this weekend. We love you, Sparty, and if you need us for anything, please let us know. That goes for all of you – if there’s anything you need from me, I’m here for you.
Orioles 0, Red Sox 5 – Scouts: Who gets 13 hits and scores 0 runs? These guys! The O’s got shut out by their own former prospect, whom they traded away for a few months of Andrew Miller. Man, it’d be really nice to have a starter or two right about now. Over the weekend, Chris Davis entered the top 50 all time strike out list. He’s nearly a lock to reach top 10 with an unmovable contract.
Athletics 9, Blue Jays 2 – Scouts: Daniel Mengden took time out of his busy schedule tying women to rail road tracks only to be thwarted by a Canadian Moose and Squirrel to shut out the Jays over 7 innings. Toronto did not help their cause committing 4 errors, matching their 4 hits. Egads. Maybe they were distracted by the sweet, sweet ‘stache.
Cubs 6, Reds 1 – Prof: Here’s a thing I did not realize – Yu Darvish hadn’t been awarded a win all season long. Today was his first! Baby Babe Ruth – aka the Schwarbs – hit a two run homer, and Javier Baez and Ben Zobrist both hit solo dingers to Fly the W.
Diamondbacks 1, Mets 4 – Prof: Woof, Gritty Snakes! A Mets sweep? Really, guys? This game, though, was not surprising, as Noah Syndergaard went seven strong innings and only gave up one earned run. New York went nothing but yard for all of their runs.
Marlins 9, Braves 10 – Prof: My apologies for the long, long recap of this game, which was THE COMEBACK OF THE YEAR!!! I might have actually jumped up and yelled a few times. But let’s talk about what led up to this absolutely murderous ninth inning and why this was SO epic. The day started incredibly rough for Atlanta. Julio Teheran – who STILL can’t pitch at home, ever – gave up a grand slam in the fourth inning after my dude the Big Buckin’ Chicken scored on a balk. I mean, what a mess. The Braves started clawing back in the sixth inning, with a couple of RBI singles from Freddie Freeman and Nick Markakis, but they were soon negated by the Feesh hitting a two run homer in the seventh. Another Miami homer in the ninth inning, and the Braves were down 9-4. They were looking defeat right in the eye… and then they decided to spit in that eye. A walk, a single, a sac fly… 9-5. Ozzie Albies scores due to a throwing error, 9-6. Freddie gets to second base because of some craziness. Nick Markakis hits a single, FF5 scores. 9-7. Kakes steals second, Tyler Flowers walks. Kurt Suzuki singles, Kakes scores. 9-8. A wild pitch moves the crowd over, then Johan Carmargo walks. Up comes Dansby Swanson, who began the inning. The Braves were one out away from losing this thing, but not today, Satan. Not today! Dansby “Incredible Hair” “Civil War General” “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful” Swanson hit a solid, lovely single to left field, driving home Flowers and Suzuki, and the Braves walk it off! I’m still over here half freaking out. What a roller coaster!
Yankees 10, Royals 1 – Scouts: Tyler Austin went deep twice, and Sonny Gray threw a masterful performance as the Yankees as expected trounced the hapless Royals. Hey KC fans, just be glad you don’t have to play them 19 times a year.
Phillies 1, Cardinals 5 – Scouts: Jack Flaherty picked up his first career victory and all he had to do was shut down the Phillies for 7.2 innings, striking out 13 and giving up just a single run on a pair of hits.
Dodgers 7, Nationals 2 – Prof: Well, well! Ain’t this a thing? The Dodgers swept the Nats this weekend! Stephen Strasburg coughed up two home runs, while the Curly Dubs bullpen gave up four more runs as the Dodgers found a spark to ignite their offense.
Padres 8, Pirates 5 – Scouts: Pittsburgh was hot, then they were not. Then they were hot again. Now, not so much. San Diego rallied for 4 in the 9th to steal away the win and the series, a win that featured a beautiful squeeze bunt by Freddy Galvis.
Rangers 0, White Sox 3 – Prof: Meh, kind of a boring game to be honest, the White Sox hit a homer and an RBI single in early innings. The real excitement happened in the stands where a White Sox fan ate an entire ginormous ice cream sundae by himself. Here’s video evidence:
Brewers 1, Twins 3 – Scouts: Jake Odorizza gave up 5 hits in 5.2 innings, but also struck out 10 and held the Brew Crew to just a single run. The Minnesota bullpen held the lead and the game was set.
Rockies 5, Giants 9 – Scouts: Back-to-Back-Jack went Brandon Belt and Nick Hundley in the 7th as the Giants rallied to work a split 4 game set against the Rockies who just can’t seem to step it up a notch.
Rays 2, Angels 5 – Prof: Shohei Ohtani went 7 and 2/3 innings, only gave up two runs, and struck out nine as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim got back to winning ways by defeating the Tampa Bay Sea Creatures.
Tigers 2, Mariners 3 F/11 – Scouts: The Tigers bullpen failed to hold another one giving up a tying homer in the 9th to Mitch Haniger, and a walk-off single to Jean Segura in the 11th.
Spiders 1, Astros 3 – Prof: It was Orbit’s Birthday! My favorite green fuzzy alien had a big party and invited a bunch of his mascot friends, including the other best fuzzy green mascot in sports (The Phillie Phanatic), Slider (the Mascot of Cleve), Dinger the Rockies Purple Dinosaur, and others. Look at the cute mascot-y shenanigans they got up to:
In actual baseball game news, Lance McCullers Jr. showed ace status, allowing only one hit in seven innings, and BMac (er, Brian McCann) hit a two run homer to prove that there’s still gas in his tank, elevating Houston over the Magical Land of Cleve and giving Orbit a very happy birthday, indeed.
First off, my condolences to Sparty on your loss.
It’s getting late in DC, and the local waterlogged nine coudn’t shake off the rust that came from playing only 5 1/2 innings of baseball between Sunday and Saturday, and they got swept by the previously reeling Dodgers. The only game they had a legit shot at winning was Saturday night’s half of the day night DH, but after Scherzer departed with a 4-2 lead, the bullpen coughed it up, first on a solo homer yielded by Sammy Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Solis, and then the first blown save of the year for Sean Doolittle.
To add injury to insult, Howie Kendrick, the most versatile and consistently productive player for the Nats this season ruptured his achilles tendon on Saturday after stepping into a drainage grate at the base of the outfield wall. He’s done for the year, and because Eaton, Goodwin, Murphy, Robles, and Bautista (and Zimmerman and Wieters) are also on the DL at this time, his injury means a couple of things:
Ryan Madson also went on the DL this weekend, something about a sore pectoral muscle, but the way Solis, Kintzler, Madson, and Doolittle have all been overworked during the early season, it’s a wonder their arms don’t fall off.
Padres come to town for three starting tonight, but my focus will be on the Caps, who trail 3-2 in their series, but still have a chance to do what long-suffering Las Vegas Knights fans waited 221 days for – make it to the Stanley Cup finals.
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Nothing can or will make me loathe the GK’s even less than the 2001 D-Backs, who basically were allowed to buy a pennant. I only hope their “fan base” collapses when the Oakland-Los Angeles Raiders of Las Vegas hit town.
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Mascots are horrible.
Prof, you can’t let yourself get excited over a comeback against Brad Ziegler.
Feesh now 17-29, 11.5 back, twelve south of the Strange Attractor. If they can’t beat the Mutts these days, well….I head to San Francisco tomorrow so I might be quiet for a few days. Dungeness crab. The lingonberry pancakes at Sears. The bagna cauda at The Stinking Rose. The funk. The glory.
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Mascots are amazing.
I have to get excited because it shows my dumb team of actual children (and Freddie and old man Markakis) have no quit. This wouldn’t have happened last season. Gotta take our little victories, friend.
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I’m Old gator and I approve of this video.
And furthermore:
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I’m going to ask the Oriole Bird to shit on your car, Scouty.
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The Irish Coffee at The Buena Vista?
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The mocha latte at the Blue Bottle in the ferry terminal. I can do better than $250 a night, even on Lombard.
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Liriano took a no-hitter into the 6th and departed after the 8th, having given up just the 1 hit. We were up 2-0 for the entire game. Then Shane Greene blew the save and we lost. Which means they will be trading Liriano soon too.
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maybe not, your boys are only 2 1/2 games back. Somebody in the Central is going to get hot and finish with between 80 and 85 wins
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Lol i call 79 for us: enough for us to believe we could be .500 but not average
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The Central is surprisingly terrible and I have no idea what happened.
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I think it was money that happened. Only not in the Rust Belt.
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I thought Moose and Squirrel were from Minnesota….true, Happy? (hint: ask Fearless Leader if you’re not sure.)
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I thought Moose and Squirrel were from Frostbite Falls, ND?
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Prof, you are correct. Note also that when foiled, Boris always swears “Raskolnikov!” I always thought that was Russian for “fuck it!” and then I grow up and find out it’s the name of the protagonist of Crime and Punishment.
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The erudite and deliciously ironic articulations of Boris are much under appreciated. “Raskolnikov”, the irresistible self revealing guilt inevitably leading to the victory of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
And think about how much Natasha knows but chooses not to say.
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Apparently there is a redo of the Bullwinkle Show (or Rocky and His Friends, depending on which version you enjoyed more) that will be streaming. However, it doesn’t feature any Fractured Fairy Tales, to which I say “Pass”. I’m not sure who would take Edward Everett Horton’s place as the loony narrator but it is not a Moose and Squirrel Show without it.
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Believing as I do in all things Wiki, their “pedia” says it was in Minnesota, not ND. Although there’s not a great deal of difference between the two, except lakes, and now f*&king fracking all over ND.
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ah. What I do know is that Bullwinkle matriculated at Wossamotta U.
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Yes, that’s where he got his Mooster’s Degree.
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Dunno. But I’m pretty sure Boris and Natasha are from Iowa (or maybe Wisconsin).
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That’s funny, and I’m not even sure why.
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Thanks for the kind words and the CCR vids, Prof. And thanks to everyone for your comments of support yesterday. You helped more than you know!
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The music was chosen by Scout, but thanks all the same. ❤ You’re an important part of our little tribe, Sparty, and we care about you.
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Cool page bro. i have a sports blog as well. just stopping by and showing love
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