He Said, She Said – Scores and Updates for 5/16/18

Prof: We’re getting closer to vacation season. Your friendly neighborhood Prof desperately needs a day off to do something fun, but she’s not sure where to go or what to do. Most vacation places tend to cater to couples or families, not single people. Part of me wants to go to the beach but it’s so expensive. Part of me is thinking of heading to Colonial Williamsburg to do that trip I never got to last year, because I can get a cheap Air BnB there. But I just really want to do nothing, wear a swimsuit, read a book, and have maybe my yearly share of fruity tropical drinks – I allow myself one weekend a year of more than one mixed drink and usually it’s like a pina colada or a rum runner or something like that. Of course all of this is academic because I’m cheap as heck. Anyway, are any of the F.I. Fam heading off to parts unknown any time soon? Probably not Gator or Scout, as they’ve both had some vacay recently. But what about our other friends? What are you thinking?



Athletics 4, Red Sox 6Scouts: Boston was able to avoid the sweep by Oakland with a decent performance by man-child Chris Sale and Xander Boaerts hitting a three-run shot in the 6th.

Dodgers 5, Marlins 6Prof: Here is where you point and laugh like Nelson Muntz, friends, for the venerable Dodgers and the sadsack Feesh have the exact same record. My boy the Big Buckin’ Chicken hit a two run homer, and J.T. Realmuto broke the tie in the sixth inning with a solo shot.

Cubs 1, Braves 4Scouts: In the fight over Prof’s affection, Ozzie Albies, Ronald Acuna Jr., and the rest of the Atlanta Braves came out on top this time.  Albies opened the 8th with a triple, and Acuna drove him in for what would be the winning run.


Astros 2, Angels 0 Scouts: No one on the Angels hit against the shift on this night as Justin Verlander shut out the scarlet letter A’s, and gave the Astros a two game advantage in the West.  JV threw a complete game, 5 hit shutout striking out 7 and lowering his ERA to 1.05.


Phillies 4, Orioles 1Prof: Yuck. It was a super rainy day up and down the eastern seaboard, and Baltimore was no exception. I’m surprised that the Orioles were able to get the game in since it rained on and off all afternoon. Cesar Hernandez was most effective on offense for Philly and it was a Phanatic-al day at Camden for the visitors. The only Bird worth a hoot was Adam Jones, who hit a solo home run.

White Sox 2, Pirates 3Scouts: Did you know that it’s the middle of May and the Pirates are in first place in their division?  Oh yea, Mr. Big Shot, Smarty-pants.  Name me two players on the Pittsburgh team.  Go ahead, I’m waiting.  That’s right.  I thought so.


Spiders 6, Tigers 0Scouts: The Team that plays in shitty Cleveland beat the team that drinks bottled water behind a masterful performance by Trevor Bauer, who threw 8 shutout innings, racked up 10 strikeouts, and handed out 0 walks on just 4 hits.  Yes, that paragraph was one long ass sentence.  You can’t teach this shit kids.

Cardinals 7, Twins 5Prof: You ever had a bad old relationship and you run into your ex and it’s just weird? Do you think Lance Lynn felt like that last night? The former Cardinal and current Twin was only able to last three innings without being yanked, and the Redbirds kept hammering away at Minnesota. Dexter Fowler reached base four times and had two RBI, while Tommy Phan hit a solo dinger.

Blue Jays 12, Mets 1Prof: J.A. Happ went 2-3 at the plate, and went seven full shutout innings (with ten strikeouts to boot). Have yourself a night, sir. It was all Jays all the time, and your big bats belonged to Justin Smoak, Teoscar Hernandez, and Josh Donaldson.


Rays 5, Royals 3Scouts: C.J. Cron went deep in the third inning highlighting a pretty boring matchup between two very not good teams that both wear various shades of blue.

Rangers 5, Mariners 1Scouts: It was a long wait for some action as all 6 runs were scored in the final two frames of this one.  Texas, holding on to a 1-0 lead in the 9th added 4 insurance runs giving timeless wonder Bartolo Colon the much deserved victory.


Brewers 8, Diamondbacks 2Prof: Milwaukee did not come to make friends in the desert. Two homers in the first inning, one in the second, and one in the fourth brought the Brew Crew up to six runs on Arizona. The Gritty Snakes’ only runs came in the first inning, when David Descalso hit a two run homer.


Reds 6, Giants 3Prof: The Reds avoid the sweep and without question the player of the game was my small child, Scooter Gennett. Ol’ Scoots Magoots went 2-4 at the plate, including a homer in the seventh, but he saved two runs with this acrobatic catch.

Yankees 3, Nationals 3 – suspended, both games PPD until June 18th

30 thoughts on “He Said, She Said – Scores and Updates for 5/16/18

  1. I am soon returning to the Frying Pan for the visitation of graves and graduation. It will be our first marital separation, so I assume Mr. Historio will spend the time drinking beer and napping on the couch with baseball and the Premiere League droning on in the background. Relatedly, I need more PTO.

    Yesterday, the lint, buttons & scraps returned to level and anyone foolish enough to hope to rise to the .500 mark was let of the asperation. The Tigers are off to Seattle for a series, which could be awkward. I am glad, however, as it means I will have more productive evenings.

    Should we wish to have a contest for most natty broadcaster/broadcasting team, I put forward C-Mo et al. You other wannabes needn’t bother trying.

    Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m saying, Wallpaper Paste and Grouchy McGrouch are bad at all they do, including dress.


  2. Clearly, now that the former Ms. Upton is Justin’s wife rather than his girlfriend, she is no longer sapping him of his manly virtues and his Purity of Essence is restored. /S

    And, BTW, congratulations, historio, on bucking the trend and getting that marriage to last so long. We look to you guys as an example.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Haha, my heart is always torn when the Cubs and the Braves play. Time doesn’t make it better, sadly.


  4. Mrs. Spartan and I are saving our travel until the fall, not a lot of free time this summer. Many HS grad parties to attend and one to host, then packing our boy off to college. She has been wanting to go to the Rock HoF so may surprise her with a day trip to the city that Gator loves to loathe.


    1. I take it Sparty Junior is a popular boy? My bestie had the get together at her place, our little group of friends had cake and what not. My parents did nothing and I would not have invited anyone different than Charlotte did, so meh. Grad night, we went to three parties, didn’t stay long at hardly any of them since none of us drank or smoked weed lol! I was a boring kid, but I stayed out of trouble.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. One of these years, we are going to make it to The Hand in August for the family rumble. Maybe I can convince the ball and chain to swing by Comerica…


  5. Mrs. STex and I are headed for Providence, RI this weekend to catch up with some family members on her side. July in Michigan/ Upstate NY partially because we have spent little time there and partially to get away from Gulf Coast summer. Then in October we spend a week in Paris.

    Gator’s adventures dwarf mine, but I do my best.

    Liked by 1 person

        1. No, we’re not approaching vacation season. We’re in it, I’m on my way to San Francisco for a week on Tuesday and to Rome for a week on June 21. Svegliati e annusa la spazzatura, as they say in the Eternal City. I’m reading a paper at the International American Studies Association conference on war and remembrance at Sapienza, which will be a menopausal bitch through my fogged up eyeballs, but hell, I’ve been doing this for nearly fifty years so let’s go ahead and soldier through it.

          Thence I’m taking an unwanted but unavoidable break from peregrination in July to have my cataracts replaced with x-ray lenses that can see through a dress about 40 years too late to do me any good. I will miss my beloved Cowboy Junkies at the City Winery in New York. I will miss the Shinnecock Music Festival out by the Hamptons. I probably won’t get any red newt hunting in upstate New York on a rainy day accomplished this summer, either, and that stings.

          Well. As for the Feesh-Dodgers game, what can you say? Those poor faultline habitues must be covering their mirrors – six straight losses to the dregs of the league. Their team salary is $187.5 mil per year, or an average of $1.16 million per game to field this 1939 Polish cavalry of a baseball team. This means that within the last week the owners of the Dodgers have well and truly tinkled away nearly $7 million in wasted effort, if you want to call what we’ve been watching an “effort.”

          Now consider Beep Beep sitting in his orifice contemplating that it’s barely costing him the major league minimum salary per game to tank like a backasswards Irwin Rommel. He’s being paid a million a year regardless. Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!

          Liked by 1 person

        2. My biggest adventure was my solo trip to the UK several years ago. It’s a bit harder to travel alone but it’s also wonderful, too.


    1. When in Michigan, which I regard as Brown Dog country, make a point of stopping orf at Zehnder’s in Frankenmuth and eating fried chicken and chicken fried chicken livers until your eyeballs bug out.


      1. As a matter of fact, we will go through Frankenmuth on the trip. I wanted a little taste of the German country. We will do it. Thanks, Gator.


        1. Some of the best fried chicken yew all ever et. It’s “family style” – you sit at a long table with a bunch of strangers and the waitresses keep shipping huge platters of food down from either end. Not to be missed.


  6. PV for us in August. My wife is retiring (Para for autistic preschool kids) and needs serious R & R. And the prospect of sitting my ass under a palapa a few steps from our room and mumbling “dos mas por favor, Ramon!” for a week? Some may find it trite or boring, but it’s paradise for us.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Enjoy paradise, buddy! That sounds amazing. To be honest I’d love to go somewhere that I can just sit in the sun, toes in the sand, nose deep in a cheesy romance novel to get away from it all, so it doesn’t sound boring to me whatsoever!!!


  7. No combined family vacation for us this year, we are mainly travelling piecemeal.

    Our son just finished his second year of university and wants to take a year off to work, an endeavor I wholeheartedly endorse. He and I will take a few days at the beginning of August to pop down to Austin, Texas (yes, I know…. August… in Texas… the reason air conditioning was invented) for a gaming and internet convention he has been wanting to attend.

    Our 16-year-old daughter will be spending the whole month of July away from home, at Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ontario, as she has been selected to attend a prestigious program called SHAD (check it out here https://www.shad.ca/About.htm). She and I have tickets to see Pentatonix at the end of August in Bangor, Maine, just a stone’s throw from here.

    My wife (now happily retired) will potentially be heading to the left coast (Vancouver Island) in July for a high school reunion, and time her return with the end of daughter’s SHAD, so they can travel home together.

    And me… aside from Austin and the concert, I’ll be working, watching as much baseball as I can, and continuing to hone my outdoor cookery skills, having just purchased a new natural gas grill to go along with my fairly new smoker. Oh, and hanging with all my F.I peeps.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hiya Jays! That all sounds pretty faboo to me, honestly. I love grilled foods. I don’t know if you like squash, but I have a simple and delicious squash recipe for the grill that always got rave reviews when I made it, and is really easy. Let me know if you’re interested!


      1. Definitely interested. We love grilled veggies almost as much as the meats. This time of year I don’t dirty many pots and pans, but I go through more tinfoil than a Trump rally. Our current faves are my grilled asparagus and sweet potatoes in foil.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well, this is a bit decadent, but as I said I’ve made this many times and always get rave reviews. Get summer (yellow) squash and wash well. Trim the ends and split lengthwise. Rub a good amount of butter on the squash, focusing on the cut side. Salt and pepper to taste. Place a piece of bacon of your choice – I like thick cut Neuskes brand – trimmed to the size of the squash in top of the cut side. Put thin slices of sweet onion, such as a Vidalia, in the bacon. Add thin slices of chili, if you enjoy spice. It’s just as good without. Wrap in foil and place in grill until the squash gets soft, usually around 20 minutes or so.


Join in on the conversation!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s