After dropping the finale of their series with the Barves 4-3 despite looking pretty in pink, the Feesh announced that two more players, starting stopgap shortstop Miguel Rojas and former shortstop, current left fielder Brian Anderson, are now considered day-to-day (an appellation about as meaningful as “free range”). Rojas took a 91-MPH fastball on his wrist which then ricocheted orf his face, and Anderson was diagnosed with a “sore middle finger” of indeterminate origin but prolly a result of excessive hand signalling to local drivers.
In a cost-cutting move, Beep Beep was reported looking for a deal on some stale-dated execution chemicals from the Florida penal system. He hopes the League orifice and the Player’s Union, which have winked at all his other impecuniary shenanigans, will look the other way if he euthanizes both of them and fields a 23-man squad. He will likely contend that players number 24 and 25 are really Elijah and Harvey the six foot tall invisible rabbit.
The Feesh now sit in last place (surprise!) in the NL East (14-26, 10.5 games out) and in MLB attendance per game. Speaking of the latter, I wanted to embed Wild Bour’s ninth inning three run homer which pulled the Rainbow Warriors to within one, whereupon they rolled over and died. It’s not just the “Surrender the Pink” outfits to which I wished to call your honorable attention. It’s the population density of both the outfield and right field box seats I wanted you to see. Unfortunately the Feesh didn’t provide an embed code for the video, which makes sense; I wouldn’t want you to get a look at my stadium either if it looked like that. Ergo, here’s a photo I found which I hope will give you the feel of Macondo Banana Massacre Field on Mother’s Day 2018: