Scouts: Just out of curiosity, does anyone actually read the preamble, or do you mostly just skim on down to the games you are most interested in? Also, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Let’s find out.
Red Sox 5, Rangers 11 – Scouts: This game was won in the 4th inning when Texas put 6 runs on the board. David Price lasted just 3.2 innings giving up 9 runs on 6 hits. Yeowser! Mookie Betts had another fantastic performance with 4 RBI, but it wasn’t enough to keep up with Nomar Mazara who went 2 for 5 with 5 RBI, including a 3-run homer in that 4th inning.
Twins 5, White Sox 6 – Prof: Oh no, Happy. I’m sorry. A walk-off homer sealed your fate. It started out pretty fair for Minnesota but then it all fell off the rails after the fifth inning, when Chicago caught fire. Oh, wait. That might be a bad thing to say. I’m delirious with sleepiness.
Blue Jays 13, Spiders 11 F/11 – (Game 1) – Scouts: Toronto won this one in a slugfest. 13 innings and it took 24 runs to come to a conclusion. Yangervis Solarte finished this one off with a grand-slam in the 11th. Josh Donaldson homered in his return from the DL, and Francisco Liriano picked up a pair of homers.
Blue Jays 4, Spiders 13 – (Game 2) – Scouts: After scoring 24 runs on the day I gotta wonder just how exhausted the Spiders are this morning. Is there anyone still alive in either bullpen at this point? Worst part is this was a travel day for the Blue Jays as they have to be in Tampa Bay for tonight’s game. The Spiders head off to New York. I just want a nap.
Pirates 1, Nationals 3 – Prof: SomeGuy, your team is now back at .500 and swept the Pirates. The Treat Urner homered, as did…. Ryan Zimmerman?!?! You never know who will be the hero of the day.
Braves 11, Mets 0 – Prof: Oh, my heart. My heart! I can’t take it, friends. It’s been over a decade since the Braves hasn’t been a joke, and even longer since they’ve been scary. This group of young, hungry kids (and Nick Markakis) came to win and boy, did they ever. Julio Teheran, even at his lowest point, has always owned the Mets and I’m happy to say that didn’t change last night. Julio was flat grooving out there, taking a no-hit bid into the seventh and humiliated M-tt H-rv-y and the Mets. Home runs for Kurt Suzuki (wut), Nick Markakis (double wut), Ronald Acuña Jr. (duh) and Ozzie Albies (again, duh).
Yankees 6, Astros 5 – Prof: Sorry, Stex. Looks like the hangover is still pretty bad. Houston sure did try. In the seventh inning, they really turned it on, including a dinger from Carlos Correa. However, the Yankees came right back, and rookie Gleyber Torres started the rally with an important single that set up Aaron Judge’s RBI. At least y’all still have the best mascot in the majors. (Yes, I know this is an old tweet. But the gif is evergreen. Just like Orbit is.)
Orioles 3, Angels 12 – Scouts: If not for Trey Mancini and Manny Machado, this team would be better served as a AAA franchise. But one of those AAA franchises where you know there’s no one who’s ever going to get promoted and they are just trying to live off beer sales. What a joke. Chris Davis is still batting 5th for reasons passing fucking basic logic. Chris Tillman is still not retired for reasons passing basic fucking logic. This team is going to put me into an early grave.
Athletics 4, Mariners 1 – Scouts: Nelson Cruz looks to be getting back into form as he went yard again as the M’s Cruzed (Sorry, not sorry) past the A’s.
Dodgers 5, Diamondbacks 2 – Prof: So it started out pretty even keeled, calm even. Dodgers and Gritty Snakes were tied up in the second (Patrick Corbin, the starter, drove in an RBI for Arizona) and in the sixth inning, the D’backs even took the lead. I guess they figured that they didn’t need Corbin’s services anymore, they could take it from there. And in theory, it would have been great. Until the eighth inning happened. Jorge De La Rosa threw some wild pitches and suddenly the Dodgers were up by three.
Tigers 6, Royals 10 – Prof: (sings) Who had three hits and drove in four? Duda, Duda. (stops singing) Guys, I’m really tired, I apologize for this. Anyway, the Royals, who couldn’t hit their way out of a Wack-a-Mole tournament last week, absolutely destroyed the Tigers. Sorry, Historio. We both know the good baseball fortune wouldn’t last.