He Said, She Said – Scores and Updates for 5/3/18

Scouts:  Just out of curiosity, does anyone actually read the preamble, or do you mostly just skim on down to the games you are most interested in?  Also, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?  Let’s find out.

Red Sox 5, Rangers 11Scouts: This game was won in the 4th inning when Texas put 6 runs on the board.  David Price lasted just 3.2 innings giving up 9 runs on 6 hits.  Yeowser!  Mookie Betts had another fantastic performance with 4 RBI, but it wasn’t enough to keep up with Nomar Mazara who went 2 for 5 with 5 RBI, including a 3-run homer in that 4th inning.

Twins 5, White Sox 6 – Prof: Oh no, Happy. I’m sorry. A walk-off homer sealed your fate. It started out pretty fair for Minnesota but then it all fell off the rails after the fifth inning, when Chicago caught fire. Oh, wait. That might be a bad thing to say. I’m delirious with sleepiness.

Blue Jays 13, Spiders 11 F/11 – (Game 1) – Scouts: Toronto won this one in a slugfest.  13 innings and it took 24 runs to come to a conclusion.  Yangervis Solarte finished this one off with a grand-slam in the 11th.  Josh Donaldson homered in his return from the DL, and Francisco Liriano picked up a pair of homers.

Blue Jays 4, Spiders 13 – (Game 2) – Scouts: After scoring 24 runs on the day I gotta wonder just how exhausted the Spiders are this morning.  Is there anyone still alive in either bullpen at this point?  Worst part is this was a travel day for the Blue Jays as they have to be in Tampa Bay for tonight’s game.  The Spiders head off to New York.  I just want a nap.

Pirates 1, Nationals 3 – Prof: SomeGuy, your team is now back at .500 and swept the Pirates. The Treat Urner homered, as did…. Ryan Zimmerman?!?! You never know who will be the hero of the day.

Braves 11, Mets 0 – Prof: Oh, my heart. My heart! I can’t take it, friends. It’s been over a decade since the Braves hasn’t been a joke, and even longer since they’ve been scary. This group of young, hungry kids (and Nick Markakis) came to win and boy, did they ever. Julio Teheran, even at his lowest point, has always owned the Mets and I’m happy to say that didn’t change last night. Julio was flat grooving out there, taking a no-hit bid into the seventh and humiliated M-tt H-rv-y and the Mets. Home runs for Kurt Suzuki (wut), Nick Markakis (double wut), Ronald Acuña Jr. (duh) and Ozzie Albies (again, duh).


Yankees 6, Astros 5 – Prof: Sorry, Stex. Looks like the hangover is still pretty bad. Houston sure did try. In the seventh inning, they really turned it on, including a dinger from Carlos Correa. However, the Yankees came right back, and rookie Gleyber Torres started the rally with an important single that set up Aaron Judge’s RBI. At least y’all still have the best mascot in the majors. (Yes, I know this is an old tweet. But the gif is evergreen. Just like Orbit is.)


Orioles 3, Angels 12Scouts: If not for Trey Mancini and Manny Machado, this team would be better served as a AAA franchise.  But one of those AAA franchises where you know there’s no one who’s ever going to get promoted and they are just trying to live off beer sales.  What a joke.  Chris Davis is still batting 5th for reasons passing fucking basic logic.  Chris Tillman is still not retired for reasons passing basic fucking logic. This team is going to put me into an early grave.


Athletics 4, Mariners 1Scouts: Nelson Cruz looks to be getting back into form as he went yard again as the M’s Cruzed (Sorry, not sorry) past the A’s.

Dodgers 5, Diamondbacks 2 – Prof: So it started out pretty even keeled, calm even. Dodgers and Gritty Snakes were tied up in the second (Patrick Corbin, the starter, drove in an RBI for Arizona) and in the sixth inning, the D’backs even took the lead. I guess they figured that they didn’t need Corbin’s services anymore, they could take it from there. And in theory, it would have been great. Until the eighth inning happened. Jorge De La Rosa threw some wild pitches and suddenly the Dodgers were up by three.

Tigers 6, Royals 10 – Prof: (sings) Who had three hits and drove in four? Duda, Duda. (stops singing) Guys, I’m really tired, I apologize for this. Anyway, the Royals, who couldn’t hit their way out of a Wack-a-Mole tournament last week, absolutely destroyed the Tigers. Sorry, Historio. We both know the good baseball fortune wouldn’t last.


15 thoughts on “He Said, She Said – Scores and Updates for 5/3/18

  1. Like most fans of most teams would’ve been, I was unimpressed by the Nats’ late spring signing of Jeremy Hellickson, but he’s been surprisingly effective in his limited work. He’s on a real short leash at the moment, and hasn’t yet pitched past the sixth inning, as he’s on a strict “no third time through the order for you” plan, but I think the Nats are going to have to let him go deeper into games, and soon.

    Yesterday Hellickson threw only 61 pitches in 5 2/3, gave up three hits, no walks, no runs, and got a no-decision again, his fourth in four starts. (Sammy Solis threw one pitch to finish the sixth, the only pitch he threw all day, and got the win for his troubles.) In Hellickson’s previous start, it was 57 pitches in 5 1/3, and gone after a home run and a flyball to the warning track in a 2-2 game.

    To be fair, Hellickson’s still theoretically behind in his prep for the season, having missed out on most of spring training, and every start he’s had has been in a close game at a time when the team is scuffling, but some day soon they’re going to have to leave him out there to fight through a tough spot and/or save a tired bullpen, and he’s looking like he might be up to the job.

    The Phillies come to town this weekend, allowing DC area fans to bifurcate their hatred toward both them and the Penguins. Scherzer vs. Arrieta on Sunday is the tastiest matchup of the three, and Anthony “Tony Two-Bags” Rendon could be back as early as today, so could be a fun weekend downtown.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Do I read the preamble? You mean the one that begins “Whan that Aprille with its shoures sote / the droghte of March hath perced to the rote” or the one that goes “in order to form a more perfect union (!) etc.” ?
    Sure, I read ’em. What’s not to read?

    The Feesh were travelling to Over-the-Rhineland yesterday and I noticed that traffic on the 836 was flowing about the same as it does when they’re at home.

    I made a very nice “instant” Hollandaise sauce today to go with my eggs Florentine. I might have mentioned his before but you need three pastured or Omega-3 egg yolks (I save the whites, shaking them in a small plastic container with dashes of turmeric, salt, pepper, thyme, rosemary and sage, for tomorrow’s egg white asparagus, okra, avocado and Gruyere omelet), then add a dash of Tabasco, a half tablespoon of lemon juice, a dash of paprika and three tablespoons of melted (foaming, ackcherley) imported Spanish, Italian or French butter (usually made from safer, less toxic A-2 milk than the American stuff) and whirrrrrrrrr for just a few seconds.

    This goes well over the eggs Florentine (on a grain free yucca and coconut flour Paleo-muffin)* and also over any freshly steamed cruciferous veggies with which you garnish your breakfast.

    Mad chef! Where have you gone?

    *It gives me a tingle to think I’m eating the same ancient muffins as my Neanderthal forbears, just home from driving a mammoth orf a cliff someplace and hanging the steaks to age like tournedos. When they awoke, the dire wolf, six hundred pounds of sin, was grinning at the entrance; all they said was “Come on in!”


    1. No, but thank you for the feedback! Like anyone, we’re trying to gauge what works and what doesn’t. Basically trying in a lame way to make the site better for everyone! I can only speak for myself but I don’t want to let you guys down.


      1. Let’s see if this works.

        Opening Saturday May 5th

        Manger Tantrums!

        Feel the anger See the anger
        Bats and balls thrown onto the field Bases torn from the field
        Screaming obscenities All self control dissolving before your eyes

        Come See Listen Comment

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We the People in order to form a more perfect union, sad domestic tranquility but wow that repubs tax bill spending on the common defense & f the public welfare for you and your posterity do ordain & establish this Constitution, brought to you by Trump brands America, a wholly leveraged subsidy of Trump Intl, USA, bigly real estate holding co.


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