He Said, She Said – Scores and Updates for 4/17/18

I’ve made an editorial decision keeping in line with my longstanding practice of trying not to call the team from the Magical Land of Cleve anything other than the Magical Team from Cleve, but sometimes that’s just too heckin’ long. Since my co-writer has decided to no longer use the term “Indians” I have decided that I will begin calling them the SPIDERS when writing the wrap-ups. As in Your Team Here 1, Spiders 5. I don’t have a problem so much with the team name, but with the logo. And before anyone says “Well, Prof, you’re a fan of the Braves” I want to mention that I don’t particularly like the Tomahawk Chop and I hate the Screaming Brave, and it brings me great shame when these are used. However, unlike Chief Wahoo, the Screaming Brave isn’t generally used on the every day uniform of the team. If the Screaming Brave were on the hats they wore all the ding dang time, I might call them some other name. Anyway, The Cleveland Spiders, get used to it.

Orioles 2, Tigers 4 – Francisco Liriano rises from the ashes like the crust of an overbaked Little Caesar’s pizza. Once again, the usual suspects for the Orioles were the only ones who actually got stuff done. Adam Jones, Trey Mancini, and (an attempt by) Manny Machado. Can’t add Dylan Bundy to the list as it was his night off. Otherwise, the stinking hulk of a rusted out wreck masquerading as a baseball team in Baltimore once again wasted a good opportunity to win a close game. Historio’s boys get a much needed W, capitalizing on a wild pitch by reliever Mychal Givens to score Victor Reyes.

Marlins 9, Yankees 1 – Well, well. Brian Anderson and Cameron Maybin are back in action, and….who’s this? J.T. Realmuto? He’s back, baby! He’s here to mash taters and chew bubble gum, and he’s out of bubble gum. The Yankees are wildly inconsistent, with Tanaka getting rocked and Didi Gregorius allowing a throwing error to score two runs in the first inning. New York had no answer for the Feesh until a sad solo homer in the ninth inning. Once again, Giancarlo Stanton got a big ol’ goose egg.

Rockies 2, Pirates 0 – It’s fun to see two teams with winning records try to battle it out. Chad Bettis, last year’s feel good story, continues to make Rox fans feel great with a shutout seven and 1/3 innings.

Royals 3, Blue Jays 11 (Game 1), Royals 4, Blue Jays 5 F/10 (Game 2) – Let’s Play Two! Game one featured a beat down of those BBQ Boys. Yangervis Solarte (try to spell that without help, I dare you) and Randal Grichuk, known as Dansby Swanson/Charlie Culberson Prime among Braves fans, both hit homers. Lucas Duda and Mike Moustakas also hit home runs for Kansas City in the loss. Now, in game two…

They just couldn’t get enough baseball in, so it went long. Basically the same folks who accomplished stuff in game one did it again. It started out wild, with Lucas Duda getting hit by a pitch which walked in a run. Abraham Almonte and Alcidea Escobar hit homers in a losing effort.

Spiders 6, Twins 1 (in beautiful, sunny San Juan!) – The Magical Land of Cleve and the Boys from the Twin Cities both vacated the premises and high-tailed it over to our beautiful, vibrant, and in desperate need of help American territory, Puerto Rico. This score looks pretty lopsided, but it could’ve been much, much worse, as the Spiders from Cleve had twelve hits in total. It was Homer-a-palooza, with Lindor, Ramirez, Brantley, and Alonso bringing the heavy lumber. Corey Kluber went 6 and 2/3, with two walks and six strikeouts. Pretty good night for him; as the only run from the Twins was a double by Brian Dozier that drove in the young Deutsch prince, Max Kepler.

Cardinals 5, Cubs 3 – Waino is back and he’s still dealing. The only Cardinal I don’t actively hate, the big ace battled the super cold temps at Wrigley and Tyler Chatwood to get the W. On offense, Matt Carpenter doubled, singled, and drove in three runs.

Giants 0, Dbacks 1 – Gritty Snakes are now 12-4. Now, excuse me while I get hype. PATRICK CORBIN!!!!!! That’s really all I have to say.

Nationals 5, Mets 2 – Did you know that Gio Gonzalez, the pitcher of record in last night’s game, is 11-1 at Citi Field? That’s wild. The Treat Urner went 3-4.

White Sox 2, Athletics 10 – A five run first inning was bad enough but Oakland wasn’t done. Three more in the fourth and two in the seventh to absolutely humiliate the junior team from the Chi. Eeeeeeeeeverybody got in on this, too; Jed Lowrie homered, Stephen Piscotty doubled and hit a sac fly, Jon Lucroy hit single after single, Mark Canha (who?) went 3-4. A solid outing from Trevor Cahill capped the victory.

Reds 0, Brewers 2 – A day after getting their butts handed to them, the Brew Crew licked their wounds and came back to shut out Cincinnati. It helped that Eric Thames returned from the disabled list, as the first baseman hit a dinger in the sixth inning, bringing home himself and Lorenzo Cain for the game’s only runs.

Astros 4, Mariners 1 – Lance McCullers went seven and struck out eleven. Brian McCann hit his first dinger of the year. And the littlest second baseman who could played in his 1,000th Major League game. All in all it was a pretty rockin’ day for Houston.

Phillies 5, Braves 1 F/10 – Ughhhhhhhhhhhh, Barve so hard. Well, no, that’s not fair to the entire team. I mean, Ender and Dansby were lava hot, Preston Tucker is playing his guts out, and Mike Foltynewicz went six innings and only gave up one run, so this isn’t on any of them. It’s just that in the tenth inning Rhys Hoskins and Maikel Franco couldn’t be stopped from hitting doubles and bringing runs in.

Red Sox 10, Angels 1 – So, um…. Mookie Betts is good. Did y’all know that? Betts hit three homers in last night’s game and was walked a few times as well. Rafael Devers, Brock Holt, and Jackie Bradley, Jr. also smacked the long ball in this impressive outing. For the Angels, Ohtani left in the second inning, mostly because he ended up having an insane number of pitches and gave up three runs. Oh, and he developed a blister, too, so that’s a thing. Albert Pujols got ticked off at something and was kicked out of the game. It was just an ugly night for Los Angeles…

Dodgers 7, Padres 3 F/12 – …but it ended with a Win for the Dodgers, no thanks to a blown save by Kenley Jansen. Two two-run doubles in the twelfth put LA on top.

Rangers 7, Rays 2 – Matt Moore had a chip on his shoulder. Maybe not so much now that he crushed his former team with a seven inning outing that allowed only one unearned run and six strikeouts to boot. Sac flies everywhere, but it did the job as they brought in three of the runs needed for Texas to defeat Tampa.

22 thoughts on “He Said, She Said – Scores and Updates for 4/17/18

  1. The Sheriff awakens from his slumber in Houston. Now, if he can just drag about four more guys along with him. Actually, he has been one of the few having decent bats recently. But this is the first power display.
    Congrats to Altuve for the first of many milestones. Four years ago I didn’t put him on my Fantasy team because I just had no idea how good he would be. Now there is no way I could get him.
    And it couldn’t happen to a more decent guy.
    Here is also hope that I am wrong, and that the long term arc for McCullers is starter rather than the bullpen. Still on the fence.

    And how about the Cleveland Spiders from Mars (SFM?) Then you could capture the intervening generation, too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m still more interested in Charlie Morton, but I do think last year Lance turned a corner and became a way more mature pitcher. And I know this always sounds like a cop-out, but having a vet like Verlander on staff is going to be good for all of them. Guys who have long term sustainable success are blessed, yes, but also have a reason they last so long, and it will be an education for the younger dudes to see that in action on a regular basis.


    2. I’m pretty sure Gator would approve of moving Cleveland to Mars, but I wouldn’t like it because the games would probably start after my bedtime.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The delirious reaction of the crowd after Cleveland Indians shortstop Francisco Lindor’s home run was so joyful it could have cured anything from toe fungus to, yes, even smug sanctimony.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m impressed. I had a toe fungus years ago that took months to clear up. And that would be a piece of cake compared to smug sanctimony.


        1. Ease off, or I will post a graphic description of what that toenail infection looked like at its worst. That’ll clear this thread out.


  3. I was worried about the Jays after missing 3 games in a row for weather, but I guess the rest did them good. No better result for a double-header than a blowout followed by a walk-off.

    Meanwhile in bizarro-world, perennial light hitting catcher Luke Maile — who hit a sub-Mendozan .146 last year, with all of 7 RBI — is tearing the cover off the ball. He’s platooning with Russell Martin and is starting one out of every three games behind the plate. So far this year, in 19 AB (SSS Alert!), he has equaled his 7 RBI from last season and is currently slashing a mind-boggling .421/.500/.579. Oh, and he delivered the aforementioned walk-off hit in the 10th. Strange days, indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Didn’t see much of the Nats game last night; still fooling myself into believing that there’s potential value in my watching the Caps in the playoffs, and so my focus was there.

    Nats have, for now, quieted at least some of the more nervous among the fanbase, although I saw one guy online yesterday saying that Bryce Harper was among those Nats who had to produce more at the plate, which, dude, if a 1.232 OPS ain’t doing it for you, then I don’t know what to tell you. (Meanwhile, Ryan Zimmerman, the Nats’ cleanup hitter, got his OPS+ into double digits last night, at a robust 14. Why, yes, 100 is an average OPS+, why do you ask?)

    Despite their having won the first two at CitiField, the Nats enter tonight’s game in what seems to be their perpetual state of “needing the starter to go eight or more innings because the bullpen is shot”. They have a seven man bullpen, but I think it’s fair to say that at least four of them are essentially unavailable tonight, so if Tanner Roark can’t go deep, we might be subjected to multiple innings of A.J. Cole followed by some random position player. It’ll be worth it to get things right before traveling to the west coast and having the day off Thursday, I guess, but I wonder what it’s like to always feel like you’ve got three guys you can count on in the bullpen, regardless of who pitched yesterday.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Would the former name of the Cleveland team have been acceptable if their logo was an image of Gandhi? Asking for a friend.

    Anyway, in honor of their new sobriquet, which is the new team song?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I speak from a place of privilege as a white person, so I don’t really know if it’s actually morally acceptable or not. I would like to think you can honor our First Nations members in a respectable manner. I do know, however, that Wahoo and the Screaming Brave are gross and should be flushed forever.

      That’s an argument waaaay above my level, I’m afraid. Now, if they were to have a team called the Arkansas Hillbillies I would be qualified to speak on it. Lol

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Histerical footnote: Of course you must realize that the REAL Cleveland Spiders from over a century ago are still the owners of the all-time worst MLB baseball single-season record, right? So does this mean you’re predicting they will return to, umm, a web of their own demise?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol… No, it was either the Spiders or the Naps, and I could hear the angel and devil on my shoulder, both who sound like Gator, telling me that the Land of Cleve is so boring it’s always a nap… So spiders it is. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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