He Said, She Said – OPENING DAY! 3/29/18

Hi Folks. It’s just gonna be a “She Said” today as Scout is unavailable. I’m so excited about the games that we were blessed with yesterday; there were some amazing performances and things that made your scratch your head in wonder. These are the games that actually matter.

First of all, let’s get our minds right.

Cubs 8, Marlins 4 – First pitch. Literally the first pitch. Ian Happ proved that last year wasn’t a fluke as he went yard on the very first pitch he saw. And while the Marlins came back and tied it up for a while (thanks Jon Lester), it didn’t take too long for the Cubs to remember that they are champions. Fish, sit down. Be humble.

Cardinals 4, Mets 9 – See, this was supposed to have been a matchup between Adam Wainwright and Noah Syndergaard but Waino got hurt once again and so Carlos Martinez got the start. It really didn’t matter, and I doubt it would’ve mattered if Waino had taken the mound either, because Thor was ridiculous. Syndergaard went six full innings and struck out ten, which puts him in the company of such men as Bob Gibson – Opening Day starters who struck out double digits batters. Most impressive, no? If the Mets can continue to utilize their actually exciting and excellent pitching staff, keep them healthy, and can keep guys like Yoenis Cespedes and Brandon Nimmo hungry the NL East might have another team to look out for.

Indians 1, Mariners 2 – A battle between aces old and new. Corey Kluber pitched 8 innings, gave up two in the first and was saddled with the loss. Bit rough going for a winning robot but I’m sure he’ll have a motherboard upgrade soon.

Rockies 2, Diamondbacks 8 – What up Jake Lamb!?! What up Patrick Corbin!?! The Gritty Snakes are my secret choice for NL West winners this year. One reason is because of these two players. Colorado had the outstanding play of their Big Three (Blackmon, LeMahieu, Arenado) but you can’t counter things like Chris Rusin and his 20.00 ERA.

White Sox 14, Royals 7WE WOKE UP IN (Kauffman) SAYING HOW THE HELL DID THIS SHIZ HAPPEN, OH BABY. Why am I quoting Beyonce? Because the White Sox went WILD. It all started with the Royals absolutely destroying Big Lame James – I’m sorry, I really have to stop calling him that. James Shields. James Shields coughed up four runs in the first inning alone and I would have thought that the Sox would’ve run him off the mound with his butt on fire but nope. He pitched five scoreless innings after that as his teammates righted the ship with five runs in the fourth and three in the fifth. Matt Davidson – WHO? – hit three homers. You read that right. Insanity!

Astros 4, Rangers 1 – GEORGE SPRINGER DONE DID IT AGAIN. Last year, he hit a leadoff homer. Young Master Springer did it again this year. Ain’t that something? Justin Verlander went six scoreless innings, and Jake from State Farm Marisnick went yard as well. (If you might remember, I have always thought that Marisnick has been underrated and nearly forgotten, but I like him and think he’s got mad potential.) Looks like the Astros are coming back where they they left off.

Angels 5, Athletics 6 F/11 – the first of our scores that went into extras, this battle of American League Cali teams was an actual surprise to your friendly neighborhood Prof, seeing as how on paper the Angels seem to be a better team. But never count out scrappy dudes from Oakland. Two other insane surprises – Ohtani – a pitcher – was the Angels’ DH and got a hit. And Mike Trout went and got himself a big old goose egg (0-6) to start the season.

Twins 2, Orioles 3 F/11 – If I didn’t have to work today, I could have gone to the game with a fellow I’ve been seeing as he won opening day tickets to OPACY this morning at his office. But alas, I did have to work, and therefore could not see Adam Jones hit the walkoff in the eleventh inning to win Baltimore’s eighth straight Opening Day game. Dylan Bundy pitched well, as did Jake Odorizzi.

Phillies 5, Braves 8 – Unexpected heroes come when you’re down and out. Atlanta was down five runs in the eighth when young Ozzie Albies homered to begin the rally. After that, it was scoring off of errors, singles, and then the weirdest, most Braves move you could imagine. Nick Markakis, certified creaky old man who primarily hits nothing but singles it seems, had been penciled into the cleanup spot. We in BravesFam laughed at the manager’s stupidity, and then despaired, and then began to doubt. But we got loyalty inside our DNA. Not only did Markakis drive in a run, dude hit the biggest homer of the game and brought home not only himself but young Dansby Swanson lookalike Charlie Culberson and Freddie F’n Freeman himself. Kakes with a walkoff.

Yankees 6, Blue Jays 1 – An emotional Opening Day at Rogers Centre as Toronto paid tribute to the late, great Roy Halladay by retiring his jersey before the game began. After a difficult and sad opening, the Yankees got down to business, with Giancarlo Stanton christening his pinstripes with a homer in the first inning. He went on to double and drive home fellow huge mountain of a man Aaron Judge in the fifth and, oh, homered in the ninth inning just to put a feather in his cap. Welcome to New York, Iron Giant.

Red Sox 4, Rays 6 – Denard Span hit a three run triple in the eighth inning. This is what put Tampa Bay over the top. This is illogical, but hey. That’s why we play the game. Two legitimate aces started the game – Chris Sale and Chris Archer – but neither one got the Win or Loss. It was a bullpen friendly outing.

wtf blond dude

Giants 1, Dodgers 0 – The Giants are a garbage scull whose best player – MadBum – is on the DL. The Dodgers are the absolute cream of the NL West. Clayton Kershaw was their starter. He’s a surefire first ballot Hall of Famer. San Francisco started a dude named Ty Blach that I have literally never heard of before. This game… This game was won by a solo blast by Joe Panik. Nothing from Puig. Nothing from Kemp. Nothing from LA at all. Clayton Kershaw didn’t deserve this mess, nor does he ever. If they never win a World Series I’m going to personally slap every last one of these jokers for doing Kersh this way.

Brewers 2, Padres 1 F/12 – Fun Fact: The Padres and the Brewers were neck and neck in the “Ultimate Opening Day Loser” race, having lost Opening Day starts for the last several seasons. And like any good losers, they didn’t want to relinquish their loserness. But alas, someone’s gotta win, and today that was the retooled Milwaukee Brewers. Chase Anderson pitched well for the Brew Crew, and new addition Christian Yelich drove in the first run in the third inning. The Padres came back in the ninth inning, getting a knock off last year’s closer extraordinaire, Corey “Evil” Knebel, giving him a blown save for the first time in…. god, I don’t even know how long. Good old Jeremy Jeffress, who is back in Milwaukee where he’s beloved and always pitches well, did his thing and came back to get the team on his back and ended up with the W. A single from Orlando Arcia won the whole kit and kaboodle.

Pirates, Tigers – PPD

Nationals, Reds – PPD

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17 thoughts on “He Said, She Said – OPENING DAY! 3/29/18

  1. Whelp (as Vaughn Bode’s lizards were prone to exclaiming), opening day for the Feesh went about as badly as everyone expected it to. Jose Urena, the phewtative ace of the staph, got sheschmettered (what’s not to love about Yiddish?) for five and the boolpen hacked up three more. Now you will hear that the Rainbow Warriors “rallied” for three to tie the game before tanking once and for all, but the fact is that most of those runs scored because Cub outfielders, especially Schwarber, were busy overrunning, underrunning and just generally booting fly balls into triples and one hop singles into doubles. “Cubbyness” is a dominant gene after all.

    But it didn’t matter. The Feesh are bad and they’re going to get worse. So bad, in fact, that you can drag your rottenest karma into Macondo Banana Massacre Field this season and head for South Beach after the game to toast your blessings.

    On the dull side, Cleveland lost and just hearing about them bored me enough to fall asleep and greet the dawn refreshed.

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    • Of course, they’re going to get worse. As Barnes & Barnes famously sang, “Fish heads fish heads….they can’t play baseball.” And they always smell more the longer they’ve been out of the ocean.

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  2. Them dadgummed Fightin’ O’s! Well, Scouts you should be right proud of them boys. Anyways ainit no Twins game tonight cause of the way they got have a lot days off so’s any snow outs can be made up fer so I’ll just mosey on over to that there channel where they got folks looking at Lonesome Dove. We’ll see if we can get back at them boys come Saturday.

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  3. Some random observations from a few of yesterday’s games…

    I know many of you will have missed the Indians v Mariners game, it being past your bed time, but it was an entertaining short (2:35), sharp, pitcher’s duel in a one-to-many kind of way with six Mariners throwing against just the one Klubot. Edwin Diaz contrived to almost give it away in the ninth, though. How do you feel as a manager when it’s game one and your closer strikes out the first batter in the ninth, then proceeds to HBP the next two, add in a balk and a couple of SB, before finally settling down to wrap up the game?

    Ichiro was given the expected very warm welcome on his return, but the ageless one’s time at the plate batting ninth brought no reward with only a ’12-hopper’ down the line to first and a K on a down & away slider. The ‘grey-haired old guy’ fared better in left with a couple of routine plays including a high fly catch that Kyle Schwarber could learn from. Someone else who should improve over time would be David Ross in the booth for ESPN. I’d happily mail him a thesaurus if I had his address and bookmark the page that shows all the alternative words for ‘dynamic’.

    Speaking of the ESPN booth, over at Astros v Rangers we had the displeasure of the commish spending a half inning with John Sciambi and Rick Sutcliffe. Manfred was pushing the line that ‘his’ pace-of-play’ improvements were about getting the game ‘back to where it once was’. Unsurprisingly, the commentary team were too in awe of the masters presence to ask an obvious rejoinder – if you want the game back where it was, why the change to the IBB and, by the way, when will you remove the cursed DH from the AL? I know, dream on… A subsequent reconfirmation of his Yankees fandom growing up adds weight to theories he’s commissioner for the long ball only, with the record number of HR on opening days offering further evidence. And, since I mentioned weight, did Sciambi gain the 20lb that Scwarber lost in the off season or was it just a small booth and the camera a little closer?

    So back to the adventures of Kyle S in left at OG’s Macondo Banana Massacre Field. He looked to be the antithesis of Ichiro – can’t track a fly ball but can see one quite clearly travelling 98mph from 60ft away and proceed to change it’s location by around 400ft. Does he just need some distance glasses when in the field? I thought one small glimmer of hope for OG and his fellow Miami fans was the reliever Tayron Guererro. You don’t K the first four in the Cubs lineup without some talent. His combination of 98mph fastball and 83mph hard down slider were pretty handy, at least up until he grooved one to Schwarber but that just shows he has room to improve. As for the booth visit in that game by the new marlins CEO, I’ll just say that he sounded businesslike but congenial, so pretty much what you’d expect from a junior plutocrat.

    Last of all, did anybody miss all those mound visits?

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    • I mean, I understand team loyalty and I’m down for that, I think it’s great. And I doubt he’s going to be a Kevin Durant type, jumping from team to team in an effort to get a ring. (Sorry for any reader of the blog who is a fan of KD, I’m obviously not.) But it’s ridiculous that the best pitcher of our generation has no jewelry.

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  4. Your fondness for Marisnick is understandable, Prof. He is quite a favorite of the female faction around Houston. I’m a little on the fence, but would love him to succeed. Because BOY, can he play CF. He profiled as a fleet-footed back up outfielder (Good glove, not much bat) until the start of 2017. Then he went to an outside batting coach for some help keeping the bat in the zone. I don’t think he’ll ever hit for a lot of average, but if he can take a pitch and flashes a bit of that power they may keep Kyle Tucker on the farm a while longer. He would have been on the WS 25 team if his broken thumb had healed a little faster.

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