Delusional Thinking Spring Training Camp II

MLB has announced and the Minnesota Twins have gladly accepted that there exists insufficient evidence that Miguel Sano shoved a female human being about 1/3rd his size into a bathroom for the purpose of having sex with him and that no punishment is justified. The investigation took several months which were needed by the stat head market analysists to determine and tell their trust fund puke employers that most of us fans don’t really care that much about it. Perhaps their observations included that it would be best that the announcement of Sano’s escapement should occur as late as possible, say merely several days before opening day, to allow as many as possible to forget about it during the forgiving mindset of opening day.

That if Sano is present in the lineup for the entire season and hits 40 dingers resulting in the Twins winning 90 instead of 85 that the revenue enhancing value of those 5 extra wins will exceed the negative PR value of letting the pig off the hook.



3 thoughts on “Delusional Thinking Spring Training Camp II

  1. And let’s be honest. If he hit 40 home runs and announced he was a cannibal, they would write the number of people he could eat into his next contract. And the fans would be ecstatic. Of course, I am not ripping on the Twins or their fans. That’s how professional sports are.

    I’m glad for the sake of some pretend morality that the Astros prospect in Corpus Christi caught on camera beating up his girlfriend was just a mediocre one. It made the choice easy.


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