Bits and Pieces VII

The Pohlads are still trust fund pukes.

We wondered yesterday if the open roster spot on the Twins meant they were on the verge of signing someone. We learned today that the answer is yes. But t’was not a front line starter but decent power hitting first baseman Logan Morrison, who will presumably split time with Mauer and/or be the DH of choice several times a week.

He’s a nice addition (last year – .246, 38 homers, 85 RBIs, 81 walks) but he’s the strawberries on the cheese cake, not the cheese cake.

The Pholads are still trust fund pukes. Goddamn trust fund pukes.


Alas the bloom is coming off the rose.

Todays Twins spring training game today was televised and included an extended in game interview with Herr Kepler. He’s still very, very nice looking but he definitely looks a year older than the last time I saw him. Scheist.

But when asked which play he thinks was his best one he said “the one that got me the most effed up…”. Maybe as time goes on we’ll at least get to hear him talk dirty more and more. Do you know what the German word for sexy is – SEXY!

Prof we’re going to have freeze this image in our minds as time marches on and the bloom departs the rose.

And here’s another one well because


No weather for old men

We’ve been hit by multiple snow bombs here the last few days and shoveling out has this old man near his limit. Seriously. I fell down on my then not yet shoveled back walk last night. After several unsuccessful attempts to get up, the infuriatingly helplessness of it sent me into a meltdown which finally summoned enough strength to get up, walk to the house, fighting for balance with every step, while my emergency testosterone call up rattled my neighbors window panes.

Sorry, but I got an aside I need to mention. I expect that some of my remarks here might suggest to some of you that my relationship with mrshappytwinsfan is um, comp-li-ca-ted. Last night I needed her and she was there. Sometimes I get things that I don’t pay for. But I suppose you’ve already heard about the guy in Minnesota who loved his wife so much that he almost told her.

As previously noted the trust fund puke Pohlad boys have nothing better to do than read this cause rich boys don’t never get nothing that they don’t pay for. So since I’m pretty sure they’ve never seen it, I thought they might be curious to see where Minnesota Twins fans, as opposed to owners and players, live in the winter.

Ich bin fertig.


18 thoughts on “Bits and Pieces VII

  1. Happy, Max is going to be like Craig Biggio – pretty at any age. He might not look like a woodland elf anymore, now he looks like the young hero of a WWI movie where the boy next door signs up for the Air Corps. Or am I projecting my own personal fanfic here? Oh, well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. On a completely unrelated topic, twinsfan, I watched every minute of that Curling Gold Medal game. I trust everyone around you is proud of those reject sons of Minnesota. I sure liked it.


    1. I think curling causes more brain cells to die than just about anything besides acute oxygen starvation and/or the tabloid cover headlines at the supermarket checkout. I watched five minutes of curling once and I was bored for six hours.


    2. The one who looked like a Super Mario brother is a member of the Madison Curling Club, where I’ve known people who are members 😀


        1. No sir, I have a great respect for the Scots. I was once married to a fellow of Scottish decent, and we had kilts at our nuptials. Along with both parlour pipes and the Great Highlands, because one cannot have a Highland Wedding without bagpipes.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. The heir of vast economic advantage usually the result of the ruthlessly immoral actions of their father, e.g. Donald Trump. Re Jimmie and Bill Pholad, daddy Carl was renowned as for being a cold blooded home foreclosure artist. I presume that you are already familiar with the depravations of Fred Trump. BTW, observing the behavioral patterns of baby Donald, am I the only one who wonders WTF did your daddy do you poor baby Donald.

      Trust fund pukes who at least tried to transcend their pukiness, however flawed the effort:

      Franklin Roosevelt
      John, Robert and Teddy Kennedy
      David and Nelson Rockefeller (maybe?)
      The Pholad boys if they pony up enough to sign the best available free agent starter.


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