Delusional Thinking Spring Training Camp

For those of us not fortunate enough to be fans of the Astros, Cubs, Indians, Yankees or Dodgers we must prepare just as the players do for the regular season. And we must do it so well that like the players, we are able to react to the curveballs of the season on the basis of mental muscle memory reflexes. If you got to think about it when the ball’s coming at you at 90 mph plus that’s no good.

Opening day of camp let us begin; with a how to tutorial. If you don’t happen to speak this guy’s lingo, no matter, the point is for you to believe that whatever he is saying is whatever that which you might wish to be true.

 

We must condition the muscles of our minds to put aside their annoying fact based rational side and be convinced that which will happen will be that which would happen if we were God. As the players throw down protein shakes we must chug our vodka and toke on our joints.

Let’s start with some stretching exercises:

  • The Twins march to the World Series behind the miraculous revival of the Freak!
  • Miggy puts Tigers on his back and Tigers stay close on the heels of the Indians!
  • Jeter is electrocuted while trying to uninstall Tommy, who reveals to be a sentient and wrathful non organic life form.
  • Species 8472 eradicates the Borg

Now let’s play our first spring training game because this is how things shalt be in the regular season

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7 thoughts on “Delusional Thinking Spring Training Camp

  1. I may miss sleep tonight anticipating OG’s upcoming post on the news of today’s sue-age of Screwge McWhoria. Meantime, since it may take three or four light years to settle through the court system, I can hope for this: “Jeter is electrocuted while trying to uninstall Tommy, who reveals to be a sentient and wrathful non-organic life form.” Or might Jeter prove to be said non-organic life form???

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’ll have to be patient with me till I get back home from Mexico on Sunday. Then yeah, I’ll have something to say.

      PS: the Sultans, the Mexican League team from Monterrey, are staying here at my hotel as they prep for spring training. The same guy who owns the team owns the hotel (the Fiesta Inn Tecnologico). These guys are large and they don’t leave much on the breakfast buffet for the rest of us.

      Liked by 1 person

      • So I got curious and took a taxi over to have a look at the Estadio de Monterrey where the predators of the breakfast buffet train and play their home games. It’s in the “Children’s Artillery” neighborhood, named for an heroic bunch of young army cadets who famously held orf Trump’s arm…er…Zachary Taylor’s army at the Battle of Chapultepec until they were all killed. (No, the slobbering idiot in the White House is not held in very high regard here; I find that by wearing my Trump-with-Hitler-mustache t-shirt I get big smiles and excellent service in restaurants and cafes.)

        Anyway, here’s their stadium. It holds 27,000, about five times the average home attendance of a Feesh game:

        That mountain in the background is Cerro de la Silla, My hotel sits pretty close to it.

        Like

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