Hello FI Fam! Please excuse my absence, as I have been working a lot plus moving apartments and attempting to do all of this by myself. This, of course, means that any time I have where I’m not working or packing or moving or cleaning or unpacking is spent trying to catch up on sleep. Everything else kinda gets put on the back burner.
The days that I do have time are days where absolutely NOTHING is happening in the world of baseball. And the days where exciting things are happening (Chipper to the Hall of Fame, Yelich to Milwaukee), I literally fall asleep sitting in my chair while attempting to eat dinner. So that’s what’s been going on with me.
I’d like to write about the most important thing that happened while I was attempting to live a normal human life and failing miserably. The Braves have a new mascot. And friends…
His name is Blooper, and the name fits. He’s been described as a generic Phillie Phanatic, or the love child of Phanatic and Orbit, but I think he looks like a gene splice of Phanatic, Orbit, and an uncooked bratwurst.
Look at this dude. He has no mouth! He looks like he’s in a state of perpetual fear! What is this color? He looks like a faux fur covered worm with a jersey on. Who designed this thing? What are these horns? Why does he have a blotto W.C. Fields nose? Why does his fur look baggy like he underwent beriatric surgery? Guys, Blooper is awful. I feel bad for the mascot performer trapped inside because he’s been given a raw deal with this character.
There are ugly mascots out there in this world. I mean, D. Baxter the Bobcat is terrifying. But they have very talented performers inside of them that make you forget how awful they are and make you care about the mascot. I really hope Blooper also steals some of Phanatic and Orbit’s inner mojo because lord knows he’s gonna need it.