We Love Castro Down Here, but He Don’t Love Us None

According to Rotoworld, Starlin Castro is the latest vestigial member of the Feesh to request a trade to….anywhere else. If you will recall, Castro, the ten million dollar man, came to the Feesh from the Borg as part of the Mariel Salary Doomph in return for the Iron Giant. Having traded Dee Gordon and his approximately identical salary to the Crew of the Minnow earlier in the orfseason for a packet of B-list prospects, the expectation was that even Michael Hill couldn’t be dumb enough to trade a gold glove caliber, .300-hitting, 50-plus base stealing star second baseman only to replace him with a lumbering ball sluice to the outfield like Castro. Castro prolly figgered the same thing.

So Castro joins the growing list of Feesh incarcerates who wish they were playing somewhere else, including J T Realmuto, Christian Yelich and Martin Prado. Prado, with his fat salary and three year contract, is most likely the current object of LoriaLight’s efforts to unload more luchre and maybe Starlin’s dream will come true once the franchise figures out how to disencumber itself of its biggest Mike Hill boondoggles like Prado and Wei-Yin Chen.  Meanwhile, I wouldn’t be honest with you if I didn’t admit that watching the Feesh disorganization sometimes reminds me of the Trump white house crew.


11 thoughts on “We Love Castro Down Here, but He Don’t Love Us None

      1. Hair Hitler and his gang of atavistic throwbacks take the prize by a mile. Jeter may be an asterisk, but our bungler-in-chief is nothing but a lowlife in an overpriced suit.


        1. After yesterday evening I will readily concede. Not that there was much argument; it is incredible how we have debased ourselves as a country. My comment was a semi-joke.

          My apologies to Jeets and HIS band of misfits.

          Liked by 1 person

      2. I might come in third. They keep me around because of my making people laugh.

        However, the lawsuits from my cooking are starting to outweigh my value!

        Only 2 more owners to black mail, and I will be 39th in line!


        1. Here Slappy, this simple, easy, politically correct recipe might help:

          Lionfish Fillets with Lemon Garlic Wine Sauce

          I made this last night as a gesture of solidarity with cockles, mussels and polyps everywhere.

          The poor man’s fu-ku. Spend the extra few bucks to buy fillets or have your monger fillet them for you. They have toxic barbs at the end of their fins and you don’t want to poke yourself with the little bastards.

          A note: lionfish is a tasty, firm white fish, somewhere between mahi mahi and cod but with a very slight gaminess that will blend nicely with any flavorful sauce like the one I made last night. However, there will be small bones scattered in the fillet so fork them apart as you eat them and pluck the bones out. FYI the lionfish has a complex array of fins it uses to maneuver in the water and these small bones are “anchors” for their fins:

          Lionfish are pretty, which, like their aroma when sauteed, adds to the experience of eating them much as the intelligence of octopi adds to the experience of eating pulpo.

          4- 6 lionfish fillets
          6 medium to small garlic cloves, grated
          2 tbsp butter
          tablespoon lemon juice
          splash of white wine

          Salt and pepper fillets to taste on both sides.

          In a saucepan, melt the butter and add the grated garlic. Saute over low flame until you can smell the garlic bond with the butter. Add the lemon juice and wine, and simmer gently for a minute or so.

          Place the fillets skin side down in the pan and saute until they begin to curl at the edges and ends. Flip them over and repeat until they begin to curl back the other way. Then flip one more time until skin side is down again, increase heat slightly to brown the fillets on one side.

          Transfer to a plate, pour the reduced sauce over them, and enjoy. The reefs thank you.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Crew of the Minnow—nice one! If the NL was the English Premier League, the Feesh would already have been relegated down to the South Pacific Lost Islets League, for their roster moves alone.


  2. My friend, at least you don’t have colostomy face as an owner anymore. Pasta Diving Jeter isn’t an idiot and neither is the new owners. I can see you being a playoff team within 4 years.

    However, you’re pretty much fucked paying for the stadium in perpetual increments until the sun dies!

    Apropos of nothing, Loria, is the ONLY fucking reason why I don’t think Dolt 45 is the anti christ!

    There can only be one! Haha. Love you OG.


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