“Castro? I love that guy, man,” says Feesh manager Jar Jar Baseball, referring to the team’s interim second baseman, the slugging if slow afoot and stonehanded Starlin, that is. “He has more power than most second basemen in our division.” (Somehow the skipper’s comments reminded me of Casey Stengel’s comment that Roger Maris had “more power than Staleen.”) However, with a ten million annual salary it isn’t likely that LoriaLight plans to keep Starchild around past spring training. The Feesh have been leaking inferences that they plan to keep Castro at second after trading Dee Gordon, who hit for higher average, steals more bases and provides gold glove caliber defense up the middle – and who wasn’t being paid any more for his superior performance – for a couple of stocking stuffer EYPs. Go figger.
Meanwhile the team also leaks, via asides from the franchise’s answer to Charles Carneglia, one Bloody Michael Hill, that oh so affordable and well controlled (unlike, say, a 67-year-old bladder) outfielder Christian Yelich and catcher “Impact Jack” J T Realmuto, who have both said they want out of the mosquito infested brackish sump into which BeepBeep and his carpetbaggers have transformed Macondo Banana Massacre Field, are not really available (note “really”) while the Gnats drool all over his Rosa Klebb dagger Guccis and, so the grapevine transmits, contemplate forging a mega-deal for the pair.
Perhaps our newly minted correspondent Someguyinva can furnish how this hot stove boilover looks from his catbird seat. Time to go to work, Someguy.