Feesh Fans, All Two Dozen of Them, Give Jeets What For.

Is there a sadder fanbase in baseball than the Miami Marlins? Even our very own Old Gator has sailed on, having seen their loyalty flushed down the toilet like so much waste. So it was with great surprise and not a small amount of solidarity that I followed the happenings of Derek Jeter and Mike Hill’s town hall with the poor dopes who still publicly identify as Feesh fans today.

The world’s most famous Marlins fan, the Marlins Man, went on the offensive:

Bro, that was my life as a Braves fan a couple of years ago. But we didn’t have anything coming down the pike, whereas the Fish actually had some good, solid building blocks which were promptly sold off and/or destroyed.

Other not-as-famous fans made their feelings known to Jeter and Circus. One woman began to cry as she discussed her anger at the team getting rid of Stanton and Ichiro. Another man spilled the tea when Jeets said that the team didn’t have good attendance when they had a decent team and the reigning NL MVP:  they didn’t attend because Loria was there. Surprise, Jeter; fans actually DO pay attention to the owners and they actually DO care what the owners do. Witness the bile that is oozed out on the regular by Mets fans against the Wilpons. Scrooge McLoria was the most hated owner in baseball, and probably top three in all of sports. He routinely screwed the fans over with his cheap ways and hamfisted power plays.

Jeter then said they need to attempt to draw more Latinx baseball fans to Macondo Banana Massacre Park:

Cool, cool, but have you considered putting a winning product on the diamond?

All in all, Jeter attempted to placate the citizens of Miami, Mike Hill threw Jeff Loria under the wheels of the Marlins Mobile, fans put down their pitchforks for roughly three minutes while they were lied to straight faced while they cried (literally).

But unlike Rod Stewart or Van Morrison, they are not finding a reason to believe. Not so much anymore. They only have Yelich, Realmuto, and the Big Buckin’ Chicken to hang their bright orange hats on, and two of those men are probably headed off to other teams really soon.

Good luck, Miami.

9 thoughts on “Feesh Fans, All Two Dozen of Them, Give Jeets What For.

  1. There’s a distinct possibility that Jeter may have so much gotten used to the deference paid him when he was a player that he’s bringing that “experience” to the CEO job and has never had to deal with true, lingering criticism in MLB.

    It’s like a team that wins 20 games in a row, thinks they’re invincible, and then loses a game and everything falls apart.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep. That’s just what I mean. Jeter may be facing the first real sustained criticism of his professional life. It’d be better if he’d had that meeting and said “I’m new at this. I don’t know what I’m doing.” Such a statement might scare ticket holders…but ticket holders are already scared or not renewing. It’d be refreshing to see a frank assessment of things instead of that corporate dance he’s trying, and failing miserably, at playing.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I might be in the minority, but I never really thought Jeter was all that gracious or anything. Mostly because he was too poised? Does that make sense? There are lots of guys who don’t make a big fuss out of things – David Wright comes to mind, actually – but there was a big fuss made out of Jeter not making a fuss, which comes across as actually making a fuss via a surrogate. And I don’t know if THAT makes sense lol

          ARod, warts and all, came across as an actual human being, and now that he’s retired he is much more likeable and real, while Jeter continues to try to be the best possible focus group product available.


        2. I get exactly what you mean, Prof. I can’t say that I knew that much about Jeets, but your analysis makes sense to me.

          I know right now I find ARod a LOT more human and relatable.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Some minor point corrections here: the meeting was well attended – more than just a few dozen but, yeah, they really let Jeter have it. At one point Jeter was asked why he didn’t speak to his players about what was going on and he actually replied it wasn’t his job to do that, after which he said Michael Hill was “very good at what he does.” I have heard from a few who were there (neither of whom are renewing their season seats, by the way) this last comment was followed by muted laughter and audible groans.

    Hill is not only demonstrably not any good at what he does – his teams haven’t finished above .500 in the three years since he stabbed Dan Jennings in the back and forced him out of the franchise and the pitching staph infections he has assembled have not even qualified as pathetic – but he’s only around because he’s a happy hatchet man and that’s all Beep Beep and the asset stripper who holds his leash need right now. Hill is just the kind of guy you want around to call a sick employee of four decades’ standing and can him. It suits Jeter’s purposes to let folks think he’s only hanging on to his least competent senior executive because he’s Black.

    Yelich and Realmuto seem to want to get out of there. Badly. Bour has been in Japan hanging out with Ichiro, so we haven’t heard much from him. It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if the Wild Bour extended his stay in sushi land just to avoid having to comment on the simulacrum of Fukushima into which Jeter had turned what was barely a Three Mile Island when he arrived.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The two dozen was a badly handed joke, I’m afraid – I have been seeing on social media a lot of people who state they are no longer interested in being Marlins fans and actively courting other teams to woo them.

      But yeah… what a mess.


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