News of the Iron Giant’s trade to the Borg burst like a pair of eyeballs in Hell this morning. On one hand, there’s a certain bleak poetry in seeing him in pinstripes. Judge and the Giant back to back. B-r-r-r-r-r. I hope the rest of the trainers in the designatedhitterball league plan to keep a supply of butterfly-fold Depends handy for their pitching staphs.
On the other, you can almost bet the Feesh are going to chalk up the lowest attendance in MLB this season. Jeter’s “honeymoon” with the Macondo fans has been the shortest since Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman:
As of this writing the Feesh seem destined to receive big payroll relief, Starlin Castro (who they will almost certainly turn around and dump at the Weenter Meetings or shortly thereafter), a few EYPs (Exciting Young Prospects, if you couldn’t remember), and a bequest of hometown market bile like a blue whale’s spleen had ruptured.
I would and will say more but at the moment I am in Cincinnati, enduring that unnatural meteorological aberration known as Weenter, because it’s time for Over the Rhine’s annual Christmas concert series, this year at the recently refurbished Memorial Hall. Last night’s show filled me with enough musical bonhomie so that the impact of this morning’s vile news was mitigated somewhat. In fact Linford got the biggest laughs – and applause – of the evening when he opened the show by announcing he and Karin were there to “make Christmas great again.”
This morning I sat at the checkerboard-topped barrel table beside the fireplace at the Cracker Barrel (one of my many guilty pleasures) across the street from my hotel in Florence, Kentucky near the airport recalling Robert Service’s poem “The Cremation of Sam McGee,” unwittingly recycling the seminal images which would give my post its title when I got back to my room and read the news.
And the Dodgers? Yes, the Bums blue it again. Bigtime.
I will have more to say tomorrow after I get home. I have one more glorious concert featuring Karin and Linford tonight to help mollify the monsters from my Id and I might, I say I say I say might, be more rational when I step orf my flight at Macondo International Aerodrome tomorrow.
It’s going to snow this afternoon. Blauuuggggghhhhhh. So just to leave off on a happier note, here’s an image of the wonderful Karin Bergquist in performance: