Non-tender time is over. Chicken tender time has begun!
Quick poll before we talk baseball. What do you like to dip your chicken tenders in?
- ranch dressing
- bbq sauce
- honey mustard
- buffalo sauce
- sour cream
- sweet and sour sauce
- white country gravy
The following players are free agents. Maybe some of them might end up in your team’s laundry? Let’s discuss some of them:
Astros – Mike Fiers. Perhaps he’ll take his talents back to Milwaukee? I always liked him, and he did well for a minute down in Houston. Fiers could be a good setup man for a team that really needs one.
Blue Jays – Ryan Goins, Tom Koehler
Braves – Matt Adams, Jace Peterson, Danny Santana. The surprise here is that the front office, in their infinite wisdom (she says in jest), didn’t attempt to trade Matt Adams when the iron was hot. There is a glut of infielders on the market now and with him being a free agent, Atlanta gets nothing from their investment. Personally I’m glad to see Jace on Base out of here, he was an uneven player and I would get heated when Snit started him over people who should be getting reps.
Brewers – Jared Hughes
Cubs – Taylor Davis, Hector Rondon. BYE HECTOR. Go give up bloop hits somewhere else.
Diamondbacks – J.J. Hoover, T.J. McFarland. Word of warning – if you have initials for a first name, Arizona doesn’t want you. (Looking at you, J.D. Martinez!)
Mariners – Drew Smyly, Shae Simmons
Rangers – Chi Chi Gonzalez, A.J. Griffin, Nick Martinez, Hanser Alberto. Does anyone know who Hanser Alberto is? Apparently he’s an infielder. I’ve never heard of him in my life. And also I keep typing Chi Chi Rodriguez, because I am a golf blogger now I guess.
Rays – Xavier Cedeno
Reds – Kyle Crockett. No word on if he has a brother named Davy.
Royals – Terrance Gore
Tigers – Bruce Rondon. I’ll allow Spartan or Historio to give us the deets on this one.
White Sox – Al Alburquerque, Zach Putnam, Alen Hanson, Jake Petricka. All kinds of weird names here. Al Alburquerque has too many Qs, Us, and As in his name. I know what he looks like but all I can imagine is Bryan Cranston from “Breaking Bad” in a baseball uniform. Alen Hanson looks like the vowels in his name got mixed up, doesn’t it? Alan Henson/Alen Hanson?
Fan Interference 
It’s not Chi Chi Rodriguez… it’s Chai Chai Rodregweez. Didn’t you ever watch “WKRP in Cincinnati”?
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cream cheese thinned with sour cream and bacon grease to a medium dip density, flavor and texture being derived from finely diced fresh onion, freshly fried chopped bacon, medium diced fresh medium heat jalopeno’s – seasoned to taste with Old Bay Seasoning (any power salt which is based on celery salt and was used by mom over 50 years ago is always a good start) augmented within the taste tolerances of one’s culinary audience with cayenne pepper. Your final product should be light red with the green of the jallopenos presenting boldly. Use a flavor neutral paprika powder as necessary.
On another topic: the Yankees hire Aaron Boone to replace Joe Giradi, arguably one of the most accomplished MLB mangers of the last decade or two. His qualifications being son of Bob Boone, the brother of Brett Bonne, having been an ESPN anaylist the last 8 years or so, and a reportedly communicative personality who is receptive to statistical analytics, but zippo actual experience managing or even just coaching baseball players at any level. Is it WWWEEEE!!! or WWWHHHOOOOAAAHHHHH!!!. How capricious has our hyper competitive era become?
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I ate too many chicken tenders…nuggets…fingers, whatever they’re called. Kid was a picky eater.
I guess anything but catsup.
Has OG chimed in about the latest on the Iron Giant, or are we on our own?
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Ketchup is a vile substance. I only eat it with meatloaf. Seriously. We had a small bottle of ketchup in the fridge and it lasted for a year because I never used it except to make the meatloaf.
#KetchupTalk
I was under the impression that Lord Gator von Gator took Young Padawan Crocodile on a trip, but I might be wrong. I’m going to post a “catch all” post here soon with some talking points and we can gossip there.
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Ketchup is good on fries and hash browns but that’s it. People that put it on hot dogs are heathens and should be avoided at all costs,
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Since the only time I tend to eat chicken tenders/nuggets/fingers is when I go to a drive thru I eat them straight, no sauce. Sauce while driving can be hazardous to your clothes.
As for the Rondon sitchyation, no big shock here. Dude is a real life Nuke LaLoosh: million dollar arm and a 5 cent head. How many times has a MLB team sent a player home for lack of effort? It happened to Rondon in 2015. The Tigers have been dying to give him the closer role for years and he refuses to step up and grab it. I’m sure some team will sign him to a minor league deal with a shot to make the team with a good spring. Maybe a better coaching staff can straighten him out.
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