The Winter Meetings are Upon Us

All two dozen remaining Feesh fans are on tenterhooks as the Lords of Baseball converge at the architecturally misbegotten Swan Hotel at Walt Disney World where, it is feared, LoriaLight will trade away the Iron Giant for a bag of batting practice baseballs and some self-imposed cap space, continuing the process of spitting in our faces first established by Wayne Huizinga, John Henry and the unlamented Scrooge McLoria. It never ends. Other members of what the spawrts pwess merrily y’clept the Feesh’s “young core” (which is also what they call a nuclear reactor recently filled with fresh uranium pellets) , like Christian Yelich, Marcell the Damned and Dee Gordon, must go on the block. They are atoning for the awful personnel decisions made by Scrooge and his sycophant, President of Baseball Operations Mike Hill, this year’s poster boy for political correctness in MLB executive hiring. We’re groping for some other logic not befouled by issues of race in releasing all kinds of competent executives, coaches and, worst of all, players, while hanging on to this architect of the team’s wretched current state of affairs. We can’t find one.

Boggled with terrible contracts to Wei Yin Chen, Martin Prado and Edinson Volquez, all of whom are injured but whose deals have years to go before they sleep, BeepBeep is desperately trying to shave the payroll down to about $90 million. This means the most exciting player the franchise has ever produced and his $30 million per year will have to go, too. It’s salary dump season in Macondo once again, boys and girls. Line up in front of the trough and barf there if you need to.

Meanwhile, all of you have rooting interests who will be involved in the feeding and dumping frenzy which begins tomorrow. So, while down here in Macondo we’re huddling together like that lady and her daughter during Godzilla’s rampage through Tokyo, we invite you to project your Hot Stove fantasies and analyses below as we attempt to migrate away from last week’s bilefest over Michael Felger’s imbecility. Whattayagot, dudes?


15 thoughts on “The Winter Meetings are Upon Us

  1. If it’s any comfort, I doubt that the Twins will be in the bidding for an expensive Sultan of Swat. My winter fantasies have them in the bidding for a championship winning ace (Yu Darvish), but most likely have them giving them a cautiously rich contract to a number three type starter. I can live with that (for another year or so – I hope) If it doesn’t snow too much this year.

    Thanks for the fresh post gator, BTW If any of you wish to see the best defensive baseball player in the world play next year, it might interest you to know that he plays half his games in Minneapolis, Minnesota.


  2. Gator, there are worse things than having your team sell it’s $30 million star at his peak for a boatload of high end prospects. For example, you could be stuck with the expensive corpses of Jordan Zimmermann (2017: 6.08 ERA/5.18 FIP with 3 yrs left on his contract at $24, $25 & $25 million), Victor Martinez (2017: .255 BA/.697 OPS & coming of heart ablation surgery and due $18 million in 2018) or the Pujolsian decline phase of the once mighty Miggy who is owed $30 million per season the next 4 years and $32 million per season for the 2 after that (that will cover ages 35 – 40, not ages a player generally has bounce back seasons).

    Of all the returning pitchers, only 3 posted an ERA south of 4.50 and the one starter who did (Michael Fulmer) is coming off ulnar nerve transposition surgery so who knows how ready he will be.

    The Tigers have cut their 40 man roster down to 31 which seems to indicate that Al Avila will be doing some serious 1 year bargain bin free agent shopping or loading up on rule 5 draft picks hoping to find synthetic cubic zirconia in the rough.

    The big trades last season did pump some life into a traditionally bottom rung farm system, but other than Jeimer Candelario, none of the suspects appear to have a shot at making it to the majors until late season call ups in 2018.

    The main question of the off season is which middle IF will be traded, Kinsler or Iglesias? My take is ship them both out and let Sweet Lou & Tram rightfully wear #s 1 & 3 for one last season. Sure they’ll both be 60 by the time the season starts, but they can’t be much worse defensively than having Nick Castellanos in RF.

    The forecast for 2018 is dark for the Tigers, I’m pegging them at 57 & 105. Historio & I will probably become alcoholics at some point next season to dull the pain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You could always try kratom to dull the pain and stave orf addiction. Meanwhile, our overpaid Jerry Lewis kids include Volquez, Chen and Prado, while the worst thing about Tazawa you could say is that he’s liable to show up healthy this spring.
      The Feesh are instant contenders with the addition of two #2 or #3 starters. Instead, LoriaLight wants to get rid of the most awesome offensive threat in the league because he can’t afford to run what he bought. Eccchhhhh.


    2. The only problem with trading Kinsler is his veto, which means they have to try to work a deal with someone he approves — and that lessens their bargaining power. If he’s not too much of a pain, he’ll be gone, unfortunately. Little Sexy Fire is certainly gone — he’s arb eligible, so they’ll move him on.

      I’m distraught about losing Lettuce. FFS! We finally got a decent bench, and just as the shadow of DKB reappears in the scouting dept, they decide to gut it. I guess that means they don’t care at all about winning anything next year. I mean, if they wanted to give us a mediocre season, they should’ve held on to some decent bench guys. Wouldn’t it be the shit if our rookie pitchers have fantastic seasons next year, and its totally undermined by the ongoing suck of the BP and bench.

      At least they finally shed Anthony Gose — so at least we are spared the ultimate indignity of that in the BP. Ok, I’m starting drinking now.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. After hearing you guys trade woeful future stories, I feel moderately guilty about presenting a Neiman-Marcus style shopping list for the Houston Hometown Heros.

    But WTF.

    The relief staff was ragged as hell in the playoffs. You can look at it as either two many 4-5 inning starts during the regular season or a relief corps that needs fresh arms. I see it as both. First necessity, a left-handed specialist. Second, is Giles a setup man or a closer? Perhaps it has been a mistake to develop McCullers as a starter, when that curve ball – fastball could be a killer setup combo. They may sort out a lot of this internally with some of their marginal young starters, but I think two fresh arms also makes sense.
    Verlander steadied the staff enormously. But there is no such thing as too much pitching. How about a lefty #3 guy? Or anybody good for 200 innings of decent pitching. It would help enormously with item #1.
    I think that Springer and Reddick both had career years in 2017. Another outfielder wouldn’t hurt. Marisnick is more of a fourth outfielder, and that’s not where you want Marwin Gonzalez playing. Too bad JD Martinez is not interested in a (previous) hometown discount.
    Catcher is thin. McCann was more than adequate last year, and I’m sure the pitchers love him. But he is past the prime.

    Dream on, STex. I think they will do some deals at relief pitcher and stop. The projected payroll is above 160 MM$ now. They can afford it, but I bet no more deals.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate your interest in reassembling the best of our team into Detroit South. How about you take Castellanos off our hands?

      PS Mom is super-thrilled about the Astros win. The family from Houston is headed home for Thanksgiving, so I’m pretty sure I know what everyone at the table will be thankful for this year.


      1. They gave up too soon on JD once. Now (thank you Scott Boras) they are not going to want to afford him.

        Just sort of an idle dream.

        Have a great family Thanksgiving. My wife and I will be in Athens, Greece. Somehow, we will survive without turkey. Or Turkey.


    1. Dear Buddha. There goes my diet. Thanks, Tellys….I think. Oddly enough I had lunch at one of his old places, the venerable Louie’s Backyard in Key West about a week ago. It’s still excellent, even without the big ol’ hibiscus tree on the back deck. But I will make a beeline for the new place as soon as Thanksgiving rumbles past.

      Meanwhile, Feesh GM Mike Hill gave an interview to today, mostly doubletalk about being “focused on pitching.” Given what we’ve got after several years of his being “focused on pitching” about all I can say is “uh-oh.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. What kind of pitching is he focused on? He better not go after my dude Peter Moylan – I hear rumors that Moylo is coming to Charm City and that is exciting for me, because then I’d get to see him more often.


  4. Hey guys, I’m sorry. I was going to post up some stuff about the end of season awards but the Doc stuff happened, and I’ve just been really upset about it. Plus, I’m just so tired all the time, and being sad for the last week hasn’t helped any.

    So thanks, Gator. I appreciate the relief effort.


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