Prof: Baseball went pretty freaking punk last night, so let’s get the day started with some Ramones.

Braves 8, Nationals 0 – Prof:  Yesterday was Freddie Freeman’s birthday, and he celebrated in high style. Charlie’s dad went three for five with two runs, including a homer. Oh yes, friends. It was beautiful.

Marlins 8, Phillies 9 F/15 – Scouts: This one went 15 long innings.  After the Phillies scored 4 runs in the 7th and 8th to put the game within reach, they tied it up in the 9th only to see Miami score one more in the 10th.  The Phillies came back yet again in the 10th where it stood for 5 more innings before Nick Williams doubled to right to put an end to Miami’s misery.

Orioles 2, Blue Jays 3 – Scouts: The O’s season ended when Cleveland swept them and ended any chance at a playoff berth.  It actually probably ended the series before when the O’s dropped two of three at home to the Yankees.  Since then the O’s are on a 6 game losing streak at the worst possible time and they are finding new and exciting ways to lose ball games.  This time, Zach Britton gets his second blown save of the season, and his first loss by allowing a Richard Urena walk-off single.

Tigers 0, Indians 2 – Prof: COREY KLUBER IS AN ALIEN. THE MAGICAL LAND OF CLEVE ARE ALL MAGICIANS. TWENTY STRAIGHT GAMES WON AND THE ANGELS SING. Right now, it feels like the AL Cy Young race is going to be between Boston’s Chris Sale and the Klubot of Cleveland, don’t you think? Kluber had eight Ks and the Tribe now are tied with the 2002 Oakland A’s for the longest consecutive win streak in American League history. What a team. Holy cats.

Yankees 1, Rays 2 (at Citi Field) – Prof: The Rays playing home and away all at the same time, and beat Sonny Gray in gut wrenching fashion with an Adeiny Hechavarria dinger in the eighth inning as Tampa and the Yankees continue to play at Citi Field due to Hurricane Irma evacuations.

Rockies 4, Diamondbacks 2 – Scouts: Carlos Gonzalez knocked in all four runs for the Rockies smacking two, two-run homers as the Rockies won their 6th straight.

Dodgers 5, Giants 3 – Scouts: There used to be a time when a Dodger win wasn’t a big deal, but that was a long time ago as Clayton Kershaw finally helped put the LA 11 game losing streak at an end.  With the victory the Dodgers officially clinched a playoff berth.

Pirates 2, Brewers 5 – Prof: YAAAAASSSS BREW CREW. You can’t stop Corey Knebel. And it looks like Jeremy Jeffress just needed some high quality cheese to get back into his winning ways after a brief sojourn in Texas. Milwaukee defeats the Pirates – and road warrior Gerrit Cole – on the backs of Domingo Santana’s 3-4 with 2 RBI and Eric Thames’ 29th home run of the season.

Mets 3, Cubs 8 – Prof:  Jose Quintana, nee of the White Sox, have done well on the North Side. The hurler actually drove in some runs with a sacrifice in the fourth inning. Later in that same inning, Kris Bryant hit a home run. Also mashing taters were Baby Babe Ruth, our little Schwarbs himself, and young Ian Happ.

Mariners 10, Rangers 3 – Scouts: Both Kyle Seager and Ben Gamel launched three-run bombs as the Rangers just got swamped in Texas.  Miguel Gonzalez has now given up 11 hits and 11 runs in just 5.1 short innings.  Not exactly the shot in the arm the Rangers were hoping for when they acquired him.

Padres 0, Twins 16 – Prof: Let’s check in with our pal Happy. Happy, are you there? I’m sorry, Happy has eaten sixteen giant bowls of ice cream and can’t come to the phone right now. An incredibly cool stat that is piggybacking on an even cooler stat:

Not only are the seven dingers a Target Field franchise record, but Minnesota is the first team in MLB history to hit a homer in each of the first seven innings of the ballgame. What’s that? Happy is going to give all of the FI Fam a gallon of ice cream in celebration? YES!

Reds 4, Cardinals 13 – Scouts: Ouch, Cincinnati.  I thought you’d put up a better fight than this.  Paul DeJong was a triple shy of the cycle.  Yadier Molina had three RBIs, and Matt Carpenter.

White Sox 3, Royals 4 – Prof: Brandon Moss went grand salami early, and that was all the Royals needed to win the game.

Astros 1, Angels 0 – Scouts: Justin Verlander did what the Astros brought him to Texas to do.  Pitch one-hit, 8 inning ball games.  And it’s a good thing too, because Garrett Richards and the Angels bullpen had the Astros on lockdown.  Good, but not quite good enough.

Athletics 1, Red Sox 11 – Prof: Ouch! Mookie Betts had six RBI and two bombs as Boston beat the pants off Oakland at Fenway.