Prof: I had a nice time visiting my friend in New York. She introduced me to one of her closest friends, a guy who is a die hard Braves fan. We spent a couple of hours talking about the awesomeness of Steve Avery, how everyone forgot that Denny Neagle existed, how it sucks that the front office brought Dansby up too early, and that the DH is a satanic conspiracy. So obviously I had a great time. How about y’all?
Phillies 7, Mets 11 – Prof: What the heck? Man, when you let the Mets get the best of you… the Mets, whose core roster is dropping like flies… the Mets, who are in such bad shape that even Lady Gaga, who only played MUSIC at Citi Field, got sick and had to cancel shows.
Anyway, back to this game. The player of the game was old man creep fest Jose Reyes. I feel gross. Can we just talk about how sad David Wright’s career has become?
Blue Jays 10, Red Sox 4 – Scouts: Toronto hung three separate three run innings against Rick Porcello and the Sox. Thanks to the O’s flopping against the Yankees Boston’s lead is now down to two and a half in the division.
Astros 6, Mariners 2 – Scouts: Dallas Keuchel kept Seattle down to two runs over 7.2 innings. Houston busted out of a two run tie with a 4 run 7th.
Twins 11, Rays 4 – Scouts: The loss keeps Minnesota just a half game up on the Angels. The Twins had a .667 record in August but have started September on a 1-3 streak and will need to get back to their winning ways soon as there is no more room to give.
Rangers 8, Braves 2 – Prof: R.A. Dickey forgot that he was once a Cy Young award winning pitcher once again, gave up a home run from the jump to Elvis Andrus, allowed an AL pitcher to drive in a run, and basically just stunk all over SunTrust Park in this terrible, no-good, awful game.
Diamondbacks 13, Dodgers 0 – Scouts: Whoa, the Dodgers are usually on the other end of this sort of whoopin. J.D. Martinez made Arizona fans pretty happy with his acquisition yesterday hitting a record 4, count them, 1,2,3,4 home runs. Robbie Ray struck out 14.
Brewers 4, Reds 5 – Prof: This seems like a close game, but it really wasn’t too much. Well, kinda. The Reds came up early and Milwaukee tied it up in the seventh inning thanks to homers by Ryan Braun and Orlando Arcia. The winning shot was Billy Hamilton’s home run in the ninth inning.
Royals 7, Tigers 6 – Scouts: KC held on to a early 5-0 lead and was able to fend off the Tiger’s attempt at a comeback in the 9th. Nicholas Castellanos hit a three-run homer in the 9th for the Tigers who came up just shy.
Yankees 7, Orioles 4 – Scouts: Watching this game all I could think to myself was “This is why they are a playoff team and we aren’t.” Timely hitting, decent but not spectacular pitching and a solid bullpen performance and the Yankees take game 1 of a very important three game set in Baltimore.
Indians 5, White Sox 3 – Prof: The Magical Land of Cleve has rolled up on twelve straight wins, and their latest victims were the Chicago White Sox. Even more impressive than Cleveland’s winning streak? Trevor Bauer’s winning streak. The noted drone enthusiast has a eight game winning streak, which stretched from July! He’s currently 15-8. On the flipside, James Shields tried, bless him, but he took a shot to the knee and had to leave the game. Ouch.
Giants 3, Rockies 4 – Scouts: Carlos Gonzalez was walked with the bases loaded and two down in the 9th of a tie ball game. Well, San Francisco, at least you aren’t the Mets if not for lack of trying.
Cubs 0, Pirates 12 – Prof: Ugh. What a horrible game all the way around for Chicago. Not only were the bats freezing cold, but Jake Arrieta left the game early with an apparent hammy injury (and took the L to boot). Three Pirates hit home runs.
Angels 11, Athletics 9 F/11 – Prof: Speaking of crazy games with weird outcomes, here’s this AL West matchup. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Orange County of California of the USA of the Milky Way used TWELVE PITCHERS in this game. TWELVE. Do they have any other arms to use for their next game? Martin Maldonado and Luis Valbuena hit dingers for the Angels.
Cardinals 2, Padres 0 – Scouts: Yadier Molina’s two-run single was the only offense Carlos Martinez needed pitching a three hit, 10 strikeout complete game.
Nationals 7, Marlins 2 – Prof: I just read a report that Jeets (yeah, Jeets) and his crew are considering cutting the Feesh payroll for next season. How the hell can you cut something that’s already trimmed to the bone? There’s only one thing I can think of, and that would be getting rid of The Iron Giant. And if you do that, you might as well roll up the carpet at Macondo Banana Massacre Field and say goodbye. Giancarlo Stanton did his thing again last night, crushing a ball that actually dented a camera. But it was for naught, as two Nats went HAM on the Feesh. Anthony Rendon drove in four runs, Daniel Murphy drove in three. Both of them also hit home runs. The rest of Washington was just kinda meh.