Scouts: Sorry Professor, I’m going to have to pre-empt your post because something amazing happened while we were all asleep.  The Tigers and Astros have completed a massive trade, one of the biggest post deadline deals in recent memory.  Justin Verlander is now officially a Houston Astro.  The Astros acquired Verlander and a PTBNL in exchange for prospects Franklin Perez, Daz Cameron, and Jake Rogers.  Houston will also receive 16mil in the deal to help cover the costs of double dates with Verlander and Kate Upton. I take one damn day off and look what happens!  I now return you to our regularly scheduled recaps.

Prof: WE MADE IT. It’s Friday! What are you all doing this long, last weekend of summer? I’m going up to see one of my best friends in Brooklyn. I hope everyone stays safe. Enjoy some Pete Townshend (and an latter era Who song) for the weekend.

White Sox 4, Twins 5 – Scouts: Oh deer.  The White Sox just out lolMets the Mets.  Max Kepler was hit by a pitch from Juan Minaya with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 9th to give the Twins a sweep.  I can’t think of a more sad way to lose a ball game, especially when you were up 4-3 entering the inning after scoring the go ahead run in the top of the frame.

Braves 2, Cubs 6 – Prof: The Cubs are good, the Braves are bad, and those things haven’t changed all year. What did change was that the Braves traded 2B Brandon Phillips – who they got earlier this season from the Reds – to the Angels for….some minor league guy that has pretty much lived in the minors and has virtually no upside. What does the Angel front office have on the Braves front office? Because that, friends, is robbery. I mean, it’s not that BP was a great superstar player, but one minor league kinda scrub catcher? Dude.

Dodgers 1, Diamondbacks 8 – Prof: You guys. This is weird. The Dodgers lost again! Not only that, but they were swept for the first time all year. This is a bad time to start showing signs of weakness. For the Gritty Snakes, it was all good, especially for Zack Greinke, who cruised his way to his 16th win (the first guy to reach that plateau in MLB). A.J. Pollock and Chris Iannetta both mashed some taters.

Nationals 3, Brewers 6 – Prof: While ZG got 16 earlier this evening, young elementary school student Zach Davies also reached 16 wins on the season, as Milwaukee defeated the Nationals at beautiful Miller Park. The Other Zach now has an ERA of 1.77 in his last nine starts. Wowzers! Corey Knebel, who was the Brewers’ lone All Star, got his 31st save of the year, and now has the Brewers’ franchise record for most saves in a month.

Cardinals 5, Giants 2 – Scouts: MadBum had the sniffles so Max Gain had to come in at the last moment.  He pitched well but he’s still pitching for the Giants who have now lost their 83rd game.

Blue Jays 11, Orioles 8 – Scouts: Kendreys Morales went 4-5 with 3 HR and 7 RBI mostly on grooved batting practice pitches right down the fucking middle.  Am I irritated they O’s snapped a 7 game winning streak?  You bet I am.  I mean seriously, watch the video.  Grooved.

Rangers 1, Astros 5 (at the Trop) – Prof: The Astros will be heading back to waterlogged Houston, but in their last home away from home game against the Texas Rangers they played very well. Coming in from the bullpen, guys like Chris Devenski (who earned the W) played this game with their minds on home. A lot of the Astros plan on helping out in their community on their day off. Maybe they’ll run into their friends the Mets? Anyway, Jose Altuve hit a home run that landed on that weird Trop catwalk.

Red Sox 2, Yankees 6 – Scouts: With the win the Yankees are just 4.5 games back and if they can manage a sweep can get right back into the division race.  Does Sonny Gray have it in him to be the guy the Yankees thought they were getting?

Phillies 3, Marlins 2 – Scouts: The only thing worth noting about this game is Giancarlo Stanton closed out an incredibly impressive month by going 0-5.  Stanton gets a pass, however all he did in August was slash .349/.433/.899/1.332 with 18 freaking home runs.

Mets 2, Reds 7 – Prof: MVP of my heart, Scooter Gennett, had another great night for Cincinnati. My small son had a double and hit a three-RBI homer off of Jacob deGrom. Joey Votto also continued to remind everyone just how Canadian he is, giving a bat and a jersey to a young, sick fan he met via Make-A-Wish in the stands out of the goodness of his Sassy Canadian heart. While this was a disappointing game for New York, their next series is against the Astros, and while they are in Houston they plan on helping out local folks suffering from the floods and hurricane damage. They might be a terribly playing team, but there are a lot of good guys on that team.